Dad Jokes😂

[ShrekDawg]

What time is it when a lion walks into a room?

Time to leave.

Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar?

He got 12 months.

 

[NC_Quail]

Most people want to lose a few pounds in 2025. I’m trying a dieting technique where you always wear mittens on your hands, making it hard to use a fork and knife.


It’s called inter-mitten-t fasting

 

[ShrekDawg]

Why did the drummer complain about his salad?

It didn’t have any beats.


What does a guitarist have in common with a pirate?

Both are known for using a hook.

 

[ShrekDawg]

What tree has the most germs?

A Sycamore.

 

[azurbanclucker]

 

[azurbanclucker]

 

[ShrekDawg]

I used to work at a calendar factory but I got fired for taking a couple of days off.

 

[ShrekDawg]

A guy opens up a bakery specializing in pies.

He calls it Fool’s Gold Bakery. The slogan is “We do Pyrite.”

 

[ShrekDawg]

I’ve been told green beans are good for you.

But how can they be better than the other jelly bean colors?