Dad Jokes😂

[Jester57]

I should’ve eaten more fiber when I went to Alaska.

Between that and the cold, I ended up with a severe case of polar-roids.

 

[AidKD]

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick

 

[Jester57]

Scientists have recently discovered a new species of pinnipeds. The newly discovered species make noises that sound exactly like “yes yes“.


They have been classified as seals of approval.

 

[EuroChook]

My mother is very much into doing the right thing by everyone. That includes insisting that I buy a birthday present even for my ex husband. She asked me today, "Did you buy him something for his birthday? It's only a few days away." "No," I said. "Why should I, when he hasn't used what I gave him last year yet?" "Oh?" She asked me, "What did you give him last year?" Me: "A burial plot."

(This one used courtesy of my next door neighbor, Marcia B).

 

[Brooks_]

A burial plot

Dang, it just got cold.

 

[EuroChook]

I went to the zoo the other day. They told me I was gonna see a marmoset. I only saw the one.

PS., I guess they made a monkey out of me.

 

[EuroChook]

Wait wait wait. I GOT THIS!

My friend asked if I wanted to watch her television set. I said, Im sorry, I cant today. How about tomorrow--what time will it rise?

 

[EuroChook]

Is only one marmoset a marmo?

 

[EuroChook]

If a marmoset stands up, is it a marmorise?

 

[EuroChook]

If a marmoset begins to turn to liquid, is it a marmomelt?