DH's good friend and his stupid dog-a vent! Warning...it's long!

[GUIENALADY]

Told my DH about this and he said "there would be one dead dog next time it was let loose."

 

[johnnyjack]

i love my animals but they stay outside just the way i was brought up and the way i stay lol.my wife said her friend was coming over she brought her dog walked in put it down i said no dogs in my house she said its clean i said nope she stood and held the dog and left after 5mins lol. men ya gota stand ur ground. as for my chickens ask the guy up the road about dogs and my chickens bet he will say sumthin about buck shot. lol

 

[Rosalind]

There are gracious ways to strong-arm guests into behaving. But you have to be assertive.

Buddy: "Hi, I thought I'd drop by!"
You: "How thoughtful of you, but I'm afraid DH and I had a night planned just for each other tonight. Call you later!"

Buddy and DH: "Hi, we're going to let the dog run loose, have beers and hang out."
You: "I'll just take care of the dog then, and you boys can order a pizza." (Shut dog in garage/kennel.)

Buddy: "But my dog is special/not a prey-driven idiot/extra-cute!"
You: (walking away with your back turned, dog in hand) "Just be a minute!"

DH: "Buddy wants to come over for Turkey Day, he's all aloooooonnnne, sob sob sob."
You: "Great, I could use some help in the kitchen. What dishes will he be bringing?"

Daughter: "Mom, Buddy's dog barfed cat poo all over my new comforter!"
You: "Buddy, could you come here just a minute? Yes, I'm afraid your dog had a little accident. Would you prefer to try to dry-clean this or just replace it?"

(Dog caught chasing chickens/cats.) You: "It's a shame Dumb Dog doesn't get along too well with other animals. I'll just shut the dog in the kennel until you boys are done with your visit."

Note, none of these things tell your husband or Buddy what to do. They are merely a statement of fact about what YOU are doing, i.e., not allowing the dog to run loose, not cooking dinner for jerks, not picking up the drycleaning bill.

Sure, DH can have his rude, ignorant friends over. He's got to have SOMEONE whose couch he can sleep on, right? And you can have your most annoying friends over, too. You could try explaining that this is not a winnable situation he is creating for himself. You could try asking (in a very hurt tone of voice, as if you're really considering it) if he's gone a little Brokeback Mountain on you, since he likes spending so much time with Buddy, who clearly doesn't like you. A much nicer situation is that you both agree that since Buddy can't behave like a civilized guest for whatever reason, they can have their Boys' Night somewhere out on the town instead of moping around the house. Wouldn't they be more comfy in a sports bar or something? And then you can have a little me-time, enjoy a bubble bath and a glass of Chardonnay or something.

 

[DuckLady]

 

[jeaucamom]

So how did you handle it??? Inquiring minds want to know hows it going on the home front???

 

[WeLoveTheChicks]

Wow. Hot topic.

I agree with all of the talk about respect - especially the respect between a committed couple. DH needs to reevaluate his priorities.
I also want to remind everyone that a dog is a dog and 'smart' and 'dumb' is very subjective in the dog world. I have a lab mix that is, like most gun dogs, very 'trainable' or 'smart'. I also own a basenji which is a different type of hunting dog. Basenjis are capable of working independently and are less interested in people than what they have to offer - "what's in it for me?" She might be labeled 'dumb' or 'stubborn' (like beagles, bloodhounds and other scent driven dogs when they want to follow their nose) by someone who only knows one training technique, usually punishment driven, or has only had experience with dogs that are easily intimidated. The fact is, she is very 'smart' and often catches on faster than the lab. She just has her own agenda that barely includes me or "pleasing" me (as so many working dogs are said to want to do). Even dogs used for bomb sniffing might be considered dumb by many because those dogs are often (usually) ball/play obsessed and unless you know how to harness that obsession as a training tool they can be impossibly stupid about the ball.

That being said, The owner is FULLY responsible for how well it behaves. It is not the dog's "fault". Dogs are intelligent, opportunistic animals with excellent survival skills, that have been selectively bred to serve man in various ways or to look pretty (hmmm, like chickens?); they are still animals in the end and are no more at fault for their behavior than my rooster is at fault for pecking my hand when I reach into the henhouse to move a chicken while filling the food hopper. It is just doing what nature intends it to do.
I repeat, it is the owner who is at fault and I agree with all of the feelings expressed about love for the flock. I, too, would do whatever needed to be done to protect my girls from said dog including, God forbid, harming the dog in the process, but it is the owner who would receive my true wrath.
INSERT EVIL SMILEY (I don't know the code:/ )

IMO you are far too tolerant of bad husband behavior.

 

[rooster-red]

Meet buddy at door next time:

 

[gritsar]

Quote:

Rosalind, you have GOT to referee the next disagreement between myself and my SO! What's your fee???

 

[seminolewind]

Bottom Line:

Your husband is DISRESPECTING you. And his friend is seeing this, and feels that he can DISRESPECT you as well. You are ENABLING this behavior toward you. If you don't stop enabling this, they will continue to DISRESPECT you.
All you really want is for the friend to leave his dog at home. If your husband can't stand by you, and you allow the two of them to disrespect you, you are equally at fault.

I'm apologising in advance. I know I sound harsh, but this stuff makes me really crazy. I know you want to keep the peace, but keeping the peace should not mean allowing others to disrespect you. You sound like a very nice person who loves her pets, and is trying to keep a nice homelife.

 

[chickiepoo]

Never ever have I read responses to a thread that I have enjoyed as much as I have enjoyed all (every one every line every word) of these.

Yeah, I think some of these guys are giving out free very professional advice. All ( every one every line every word) are right on the money in different ways.

And, yes, We Need The Update! Please! We are all rooting for you, honey you!

Respect ya, mean it,