Did you ever feel like you were raising yourself as a kid?

[Scoop]

I agree about visiting your counselor at school, they can be a big help. I missed out on 4 years on 100% paid college years ago because no counselor talked to me. They don't go to poor kids sometimes, just rich ones. There are ways to be able to afford it, you'll know who is really helping you.

 

[Smartie_Pants]

Don't get me wrong, my mom is a great person and she does love me, but for 28 years she was married to a man who didn't truly love her and treated her like crap. I think maybe she never got a chance to go out and have fun. I just wish she could balance home and fun. She has gotten a lot better about it though. I'm not with my dad because he is mentally unstable and mentally abusive.

I just needed to vent, so I left out the good things she does too. She pays for all my car insurance and gas, she fixes the car when it has something wrong (alot!) and she takes me out every once in a while to go shopping and stuff. Its not like she has absolutly nothing to do with me.

I do understand that having to work and being a single mom has a lot to do with it. And all that my dad put her through for so long had an impact too.

 

[Three_Blessings]

We all need to vent sometimes. It does make a person feel better. I would suggest talking to your school counselor about your college dreams. It is there job to help you with that.

 

[Smartie_Pants]

OMG! I feel kinda bad now. When she came home she had a surprise for me, an expensive one. She told me they were just going out but she really went to get me a chick hutch and even the run that went with it. You know, the expensive ones at Rural King? She spent more that 300 dollars of her tax return money!

 

[dave_Cash69]

parents are confusing.

 

[maplesky7]

cute chicks...nice hutch.


I had 3 older sister's to raise me. My mom slept and my dad was always working. They loved us...they just weren't really there for us.

Open up to your mom about your feelings and maybe you two can work on it. Don't expect her to be "perfect," but as a mom, she can improve upon some things...we all could...as human's for that matter.

You are doing a fine job keeping at your studies and tending to your animals. If college is next for you...you will find a way. Talk to your councelor at school...that's what they are there for. I was very friendly with mine...I now run into her from time to time still.

I was in the 7th grade when I had to start doing my laundry if I wanted to wear something clean. When I was younger it was my sister who woke me up, dressed me, poured my cereal, and we all stood together for the bus. She was the one to get me off the bus at times after school so we could walk to the arcade together. I refer to that sister as my second mom. Later in life she got resentful and said she missed her childhood, she took it out on me. Didn't want to talk to me....

It wasn't my fault...but I still felt bad. Each of us carries our own story. We still love our mom but we have accepted her as the person she is and realize it's not about her changing more as it is, us having to adapt.

I'm not here to tell you to accept her behavior. No, I would hope you would take the time and opportunity to open up and let her know how you are feeling. Hopefully her heart will hasten your words and good things will come from this.

I'm a mom and I'd want my kids to be open with me about the things you mention.

hugs,
g

 

[farmerlor]

Aw, that was nice of her. Maybe she has noticed how much you do and how great you are even though she's not as involved in your life as she'd like to be.
I think if it were me, I'd really like to hear your feelings on this issue. You should let her know that you'd like a little more of her attention.

 

[mmtillman]

You seem to be a very intelligent teen for all you are going thru.
I sense a maturity and common sense in you and I believe the rough time you are facing right now , will only make you stronger and make you a better person. You are going to be successful in what ever you do.
It is a shame the way your mom is acting.

But, someday, she will look back and realize she was so wrong, and missed the chance to do right by you.

And, someday , you will have to forgive her ....

I had to forgive my Mom. I lived in a home full of anger and it made me a stronger person.

You seem to have already made up your mind to overcome the negative issues and move ahead. I commend you for that !
I pray for you to have what you need in life to succeed.
God Bless You!

 

[robbinbaker]

Yep. And it does definately get worse after the divorce because your mother needs to spend time rebuilding her life. At least you were 14 and not 9.
Here's the good news tho... you will be an awesome parent because you're paying attention now to the things you think work, and those that don't. You are learning now many of the life skills most people don't learn until they are in their 20's. You will already know these skills so you'll have more time to enjoy yourself, or have a hobby or advance your career. You will feel more confident and relaxed in your 20's and 30's because you are more advanced than your peers who were "mothered and babied".
Essentially, you're obviously smart and centered (or you wouldn't be writing on a message board, you'd be out getting stoned)... so you're just being made into a more competent person. Take the learning and the good you can and ignore the rest.
And pat yourself on the back. It's really only your opinion of yourself that counts anyway.

 

[Dixiedoodle]

I am sorry that your mother is not living up to her responsibilities. Many parents are over whelmed with their own lives. I agree that you should talk with a counselor, have them arrange visits to colleges, have them help you with grants, loans, scholarships--REMEMBER the squeaky wheels get the most notice... ASK, tell them your dreams, tell them you want help. IF they don't get busy, ask a teacher, a librarian or a relative--keep asking until you get someone to notice!

IF things get too bad---print this out and let her read it.

I will tell you that this is good practice for "real life". think of all the things you will be able to do/handle when you go to college. You will know how to balance your schedule, your time, you will know how to cook, clean and do laundry. AND you will remember that this is not how you want to treat your children.

Prayers for you...Dixie