Dixie Chicks

[seminolewind]

Welcome ricebabyca!!! But I'm thinking that Kathy takes too many vacations and I am tired of having gaps in my support.

 

[Peep_Show]

So it's my fault that a customer at work has had her mower broke down for 2 weeks but she didn't bring it to me until Monday and I sent it to the repair shop tuesday...they looked at it Wednesday and ordered the parts Thursday. The owner of the mower lost their receipt, wanted me to find it. Not the easiest thing to find. We do 300+ transactions everyday and they bought it in April or May of 2014 on their credit card is all the information I had. Took me 2 days but I found a bunch of receipts for that specific mower. Called them, said I need the last 4 digits of their card # to make sure I give them the right one and she REFUSES to give it to me. Told her I have to have it to get the right one, I can't just give her any old receipt. She reluctantly gives it to me and I said oh here it is. I'll go fax it over now. She still proceeds to tell me this is all my fault (cause you all know I moonlight as a vandal on lawnmowers) and she demands I do my job (which isn't actually looking up receipts, I was trying to be nice) and she wants to talk to the owner of our corporate owned company.


Yeah, good luck with that!

Oh, if only she had bought her mower at Sears! It could be a long, long, long time before she got any action.
Sorry you had to deal with this knot in the tail.

My mother just thinks she's being treated for her broken wrist that healed. She has no idea about the rest. Do we tell her? Do we tell her a little?

I had hinted to Mom about her Parkinsons... She never got it. One day, though, she found a book I had sent her (something like "100 Questions about Parkinsons" or some such) and asked point-blank, "Do you think I have Parkinsons?"
"Yeah, Mom. I do."
"Oh."
The subject was dropped for several weeks...and then she asked, "What do *you* think causes it?" (As if I had the solution of the genesis of Parkinsons!)

However, she still was in denial every step of the way and, eventually, it just didn't matter as her mind was gone.

As to whether to tell your mother, what is your intention in doing so? (That's the big Oprah question) And then also think about the ramifications of her reaction to such news.
Yeppers, it's a hard call. I wish there were a pat answer.

 

[Alaskan]

      Thanks..  You make an important point about xyz.  Today she started with the time again.  Or days.  She keeps saying that everyone insists that tomorrow is the 11th.  I told her the date a few times.  It does sound like "later" Alzheimer's especially all the years that we made excuses for her stories about things that never happened.  I haven't heard from my dad for 5 days, which is he's either avoiding me and what I'm saying or he's made up his mind or has not. 

My mother just thinks she's being treated for her broken wrist that healed.  She has no idea about the rest.  Do we tell her?  Do we tell her a little?

I think you need to figure out what needs to be done at this time.... From what you have said I am thinking your options are
1. Lots of in home care
2. Some kind of nursing home

So... Think through the options keeping your mind on
- what will you be able to talk your dad into
- what will you be able to pay for

Once you figure out the best choice, then decide what you have to tell your mother to make her most compliant/ most likely to do what you want.

How much you tell her, how truthful you are, or if you lie outright, depends a great deal on how her brain function is. If she can't remember anything that she is told two hours later.... Then it is best to lie, so that you can pick a lie that will get her to be as happy as possible with the situation that she is in.

There is NO reason to be truthful to your poor mother if the truth results in a screaming fit... She finally calms down, then as soon as she is calm she forgets everything that just happened and asks again "what are we doing here?" For another repeat of unhappy.

As to her mental state, there are SO MANY different ways for the brain to fail. Truly, kind of amazing. My family tends towards dementia. I have a good friend whose grandfather had Alzheimers, and whose mother has Aphasia (a new one for me, interesting and horrid). Each illness changes the brain differently, and progresses differently. Some are much more difficult to diagnose than others.

It is all horrid, and terrible.

Don't forget that taking care of yourself needs to stay a high priority. If you ignore your own care and sanity then you will be of zero help to your parents.


My dad isn't super mental yet.... But he is mental enough that he is at times unreasonable... My great aunt is pretty far gone, but still highly functional. In both cases we tend to shift the truth.

So like my dad, he is convinced that the speech therapy that he must do is worthless and doesn't help. There was no way to convince him otherwise. So we switched to, "yes, I am sure you are right, but just the fact that you do them makes me so happy. Please do the exercises to make me happy" and such further drivel. If we focus on how wonderful he is as a father.... Lots of praises.... He is them much more compliant.

My great aunt who is pretty far gone, my sister has to take her in for all of her doctor visits because her sons can't get her to go in. She tells them no. My sister says "I have errands to run, could you please come with me and keep me company?" And then they end up at the doctors office.... my sister then says that she (my sister) is the one with the appointment.... Could my great aunt just come into the exam room to hold her hand..... They get into the exam room and then my great aunt is fine, and lets the doctor examine her.

Again creativity.

 

[seminolewind]

Wow. Lots of food for thought. I think my dad is trying to figure out how to get full time home care and how to pay for it. It seems long term care (nursing home) has been changing for the better. People are treated more like people and less like patients. I think that's good. I hate to see my mom in a bed all day because she's not sick. She needs physical therapy and professionals to keep an eye on her.

 

[Outpost JWB]

@minihorse927 , I understand fully. Spent 17 years at Lowe's. Now at a bank. So, just traded blame. Now it's my fault that people don't write down their transactions in a register, repeatedly overdraw their accounts, screw up their own credit, My favorite thing to get blamed for is:

Customer: What? You can't cash my $5,000 check and you have to put it on a hold? This is ridiculous! But I have an account with you....
Me: It has $1.02 in it.
Customer: And?
Me:

Mini, Your customer probably ran it out of oil. And that too is your fault.

JK. Some people are just Idiots.

My chicken saga. 4 total dead. One I had pulled (with the 5) survived and seemed MUCH better. I went ahead and put her with the flock. As I noticed another one had dropped. I put her in a cage. Today after work I will be able to better assess what is going on. It was almost dark by the time I got home yesterday. After feeding them all, it was well beyond dark.

@seminolewind , DH has never been in military. I hope your situation gets better. My dad is getting better-best as he can. Hoping his genetics don't dictate my future!

Gotta get coffee and ready for work. Have a good day!

 

[BriardChickens]

Happy Weekend everyone, anyone else stuck at work?

One of the co-workers just moved so he's throwing a house warming party tonight. I plan to drop in briefly after work, as hubby also has plans for tonight so no one is home to look after the dog and our poultry.

Speaking about poultry, I have noticed a round hole in the shavings in a coop corner. Really hoping that's a good sign for eggs!!
My new EE chicks are getting their first wing feathers. That is surprisingly quick!! They are only a few days old. 5 days or 6 days?

 

[minihorse927]

Happy Weekend everyone, anyone else stuck at work?

One of the co-workers just moved so he's throwing a house warming party tonight. I plan to drop in briefly after work, as hubby also has plans for tonight so no one is home to look after the dog and our poultry. 

Speaking about poultry, I have noticed a round hole in the shavings in a coop corner. Really hoping that's a good sign for eggs!!
My new EE chicks are getting their first wing feathers. That is surprisingly quick!! They are only a few days old. 5 days or 6 days?

no, I'm that one person at work everyone hates who doesn't work weekends. Took me 9 years to get there though!

 

[BriardChickens]

Haha, I work every other saturday in a different department then i do during the rest of my shift. Why do they make me work in a different department that I have so little knowledge off once every other week? Well that's up to the upstairs people... and it's not like I have a supervisor here to ask questions should I have any. For now, I squeeze by.

 

[ricebabyca]

Welcome ricebabyca!!! But I'm thinking that Kathy takes too many vacations and I am tired of having gaps in my support.

 

[Alaskan]

Wow.  Lots of food for thought.  I think my dad is trying to figure out how to get full time home care and how to pay for it.  It seems long term care (nursing home) has been changing for the better.  People are treated more like people and less like patients.  I think that's good.  I hate to see my mom in a bed all day because she's not sick.  She needs physical therapy and professionals to keep an eye on her. 

Yeah... Some are pretty good. The one here in town is nice, it has private rooms, but for those that are mobile they can hang out in the public areas. The home holds activities that pulls in healthy people from the community to make sure the people in the home get more visitors. The home just started a low impact exercise program, aimed at people over 50 or with lower mobility... It can be done while in a wheel chair but is also great for the fully mobile. Two of the ladies at my church have gone and really enjoyed it. (Both are fully mobile... They just loved the low impact).

My grandmother went to a home .. And when she became super far gone... My mom hired a private nurse to come in daily for a few hours and just babysit her. Mostly to make sure that my grandmother was being very well cared for. It was a nice home... But they had private rooms, not set up like a hospital, and since there wasn't a one to one ratio my mother was worried that my grandmother wouldn't have someone when she needed someone... And that is why my mom hird the extra private nurse.

I think it depends a great deal on how everything is set up. Also, needs will change as your mom's condition changes.