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Oh my gosh, at church this girl was doing a solo and lets face it she was just awful! She had no rhythm, no tone, not even a small hint of knowing what she's doing! I mean not that I'm some wonderful singer, but I've never ever ever seen someone sing that bad I just looked at my brothers and we all had this weird face like we were trying not to laugh our heads off.
Not only does it get me in trouble... it almost got me and my son kicked out of Boy Scouts!
The Assist. Scout Master's wife came by my house and commented about my yard art... a blue glass ball purchases at Wal-store. She asked what it was. Being the smart aleck that I am, I replied "Oh that's a gazing ball. We use it to contact UFO's but so far, you are the only one who has shown up."
At the next meeting, DS was taken aside and questioned about how we usually spend out Sundays. Apparently cooking pancakes and taking our kids to the beach... instead of attending her church...along with the UFO thing meant I was a Satanic Witch.
(Not quite sure how that translates, but that is where it went!) To make a long story short... (I know too late!) I stayed in a leadership position, DS made Eagle, and said wife and her husband were arrested and convicted of contractor fraud and embezzelment. Good Christians with no sense of humor and a boring yard.
Two guys were sitting around their campfire in the middle of the night. One of them said, "did you hear that? It sounded like a bear". The other one indicated he hadn't heard it. A few minutes later he said, "didn't you hear it that time? I am pretty sure it was a bear". The other one shook his head, and proceeded to put on his tennis shoes. The first guy said, "what are you doing that for? You know you can't outrun a bear!" The second guy said, "Yep, I know that. But I don't have to outrun the bear......I only have to outrun you."
Don't you hate having to explain yourself to people with no sense of humor? It's so refreshing when someone laughs along with you or "gets" the joke.
I married such a person. Before we met, he worked in formulation at Baltimore Spice (maker of Old Bay seasoning). One slow night, the chemist gave him a clear liquid that he had mixed up. For the life of me, I can't remember the name of the concoction. It was stable when wet but volatile when it dried and the slightest impact made it "snap" like a cap. He took this to good old GC Murphy's and poured it across the steps. People, of course walked all over it and carried it through the mall. As it began to dry, the chaos ensued. Someone would step on the dried stuff and it would snap under their feet causing everyone to jump and look down to see what they had stepped in. Of couse it was nothing. He said this went on for hours as little pockets of the stuff would be found.
He would also take Osage oranges (they are about the size of a softball, green and nubbly), sneak them into the grocery store and put them in people's carts and put them in the produce aisle and then just watch as people would pick them up with a confused look and price checks were called for.