Evil Evil Stepfather *grumbles*

[chickygirl2]

I checked out your BYC page and see that you love, absolutely love animals!
Have you given any thought to maybe pursuing
a field that would let you work with them? Vet assistants. shelter workers, dog walkers, pet sitters among others get their "cuddle quota" from working in their respective jobs.
I know you don't yet have a license. Do you have public transportation where you are? That could get you to work. If anxiety is one of the reasons you have not worked full time, maybe a volunteer job could be for you right now- a few hours a day, a few days a week. You would meet people like you hat also share your concern for animals.
All of us are made differently. For some, school can be difficult. That does not rule out on the job learning. Some of the most sucessful people learned from the bottom up ! : )
I know you felt hurt by some of the comments made here. Everyone of the posters has personal experience that they were trying to share with you.Try to take the comments as constructive criticism. Everyone here has your best interest at heart- really !Being older, many of us realize that you just need to get over some hurdles before you can move on with your life. Each has to do it a little differently. Now you just have to do it your way : )

Good luck !!!!!! : )
Patty

 

[HennysMom]

OH sweetie!

I didnt mean to upset you, that wasnt my intent by any means... everyone else is correct when they say it was meant in support - to let you know it CAN be done regardless of whatever the situation is that holds you back. Everyone is battling something - the trick is to overcome that battle and find what you're good at.

My other point was that kids these days do have a sense of entitlement for some reason ( I know, I have 2 of ya

)- and not just "teenagers" (up until you're 19, to me...anything with the word "TEEN" in it..you're still a teenager even though law says you're an "adult") but grown adult children. However - there comes a time when you must take control of your own life and circumstances and Mom and Dad no longer have that control...unless you live in their house and dont work - then you cant complain about anything, its not your right to do so; their house their rules, period. I see too many parents that allow their full grown children - well into their 20's and 30's back into their homes and each make excuses for the other. "Kids" say "I cant/wont/mom likes me to be here/I contribute by cutting the grass/etc" and Mom says "oh, it's okay - they have no place else to go/no way to get around/they help out."

Its annoying to me - thats all. I see it with my BIL, as I said - who at nearly 50 years old just sits on his patootie for the past 30 + years and says "Hey Ma - can I have 20 bucks? Take me to Bob's house/I need smokes/etc." and she does it! Yet when she takes vacation - its amazing..he gets around quite well and has money without her. She complains and complains to my hubby about it all the time - and hubby tells her STOP COMPLAINING because YOU put yourself in this situation and only YOU can get yourself out of it! Truth...harsh - nope - because its absolutey the truth 100% and she knows it.

You're young, yes - but you need a plan in your life

is all I was saying, and dont depend on mom and dad for it; but definately dont depend on a man to rescue you sweetie - men arent everything *oh man..gonna get slammed for that I know* - but... this isnt the 19th Century here - dont sell yourself short

- we women are pretty darn amazing if you ask me!

Chin up kiddo - and like English Chick said - brush yourself off. Its a learning lesson - we do want to see you succeed

 

[danischi24]

Hi
I'm very similar to you though I don't live with my parents as my mother & I don't get on for more than a few hours at a time. I'm not fully self sufficient yet but I'm going to get there cause I'm so sick of people asking what I'm doing with myself. I keep cutting down the amount that I get from my parents & how often-I have never asked for a cent & have put off their hand outs whenever I can which is almost always this last year. I have a nasty condition that throws me in the deep end every time I try to work & big physical problems that limit me too. It's so frustrating.
Anyway, I have an idea for you that I would do if I lived on a farm & I could probably do it just fine so I think you might manage too: why don't you start a small scale farming venture. Just an animal or two that you breed & sell the offspring (don't see you guys being able to send anything to the butcher if your S dads a softie) or hens for eggs that you sell. Any small thing that you can make a little money from to help out & give you something to do with your days so you don't feel useless. I wish with all my heart that I could do something like that & maybe one day it will happen for me.
The rich man thing didn't work out for me because I can't fall in love with the high society guys-I think they are silly kids that have no concept of what really counts in life & dismiss them in a second. So I landed up with a sweet man who does know & expects me to work even as a volunteer so that I'm doing something & I guess it's good for me even though it's so tough. I'm gonna give working another try on Sunday.

 

[joebryant]

Quote:
Be constructive or post elsewhere.

 

[skirbo]

I'm trying to convince my emotional special needs daughter (I adopted her last year at 16 and frankly she's just not capable of living in the intimacy of a family, even just me-she's been a system kid all her life-and is almost three years behind in school, but that's neither here nor there) to go to Job Corp. I've got several friends whose adult children, all very different but very complicated emotionally from their histories of trauma, went and succeeded.

It's hard work I'm sure, but they pay you, house you, feed and clothe you, and educate you as well as teaching you your trade. There are facilities in every state in the union, you could probably stay very close to home. They help the graduates find jobs and housing, and the graduates are highly sought after because they have proved they are willing to work to improve their lives.

http://jobcorps.dol.gov/about.htm

Just so you can take a look at it and see what it's about.

Sarah

 

[smom1976]

Other than Joe.. (sorry Joe)

I think that most of the replys on here have been very supportive and encouraging..

Lots of "you cans" and "go get ums" I saw a thread on here not too long ago where it was ruthless..

This is a very encouraging thread.

 

[joebryant]

Quote:
Be constructive or post elsewhere.

 

[A.J.'s]

Lets see.. 19 years old. computer skills, plenty of money for tats, hair upkeep, make up, clothes, pets, fairly well classed.. meaning you are clean.. and you do have pride.. seeing that you are clean, well groomed and dress fairly appropriate for your age.. you are well aware of yourself, so you cant be as retarded as you want to appear.
I suspect you can appear sweet and nice. But I betcha you can give a tongue lashing to momma or step dad when ever you want to and they forgive you..or appear to, without forgetting it very soon.
I also suspect you have a check of some kind that comes in monthly.???? Making yourself necessary or at least handy to have around to help with expenses. Momma makes her self so essential to your life that you stay close to her. You make yourself so eseential to her and her hubby that they overlook a lot.
Sleep til noon, or later, up all night on that computer with 7 screen names with different pictures on various sites, all with different personnas.
smart enought to keep up with all of the personalites that go with each screen name. a memory almost phota graphic.. Make freinds easily but keep them distant. I doubt if any of them know the real you.
Drug free.. yes I doubt if you take drugs or drink alcohol. Not in your "sweet girl image". The chemicals naturally in your body take care of you pretty well.
I doubt if you have a boy friend. Scared of them. Scared of sex.
But you probably let boys think that you are sexual. OR totally reversed, you claim virginity or actually are a virgin.
I wonder if I have hit any of your personality values..... I do not intend this with any ugliness.. Im experimenting with my intution and or lack of insightness.. just humor me and let me know if I have hit anything here that describes your inner self. please
You are a very lovely girl. I love to see a tat'd girl that is so clean and well groomed and takes such good care of her pets. I see a goodness in you a simpleness that tells me that you would be a good freind to have if ever true trust could ever be forged.
I dont have any feeling of dishonesty in you such as stealing or sneaking around or disloyalty just a young girl who has not jumped ahead of herself in life.
You could easily live with an elderly couple near a technical school and help them out for your upkeep while you improved your chances for acheving your dreams. But lack of dreams seem to be a problem for you.
I bet you would be a sweet good wife and mother.. that aint a bad goal. But you have to fish where there is water and I dont see any hint of potential good mates where you are...
Please humor me and tell me if any of my thoughts are correct .. im not sending any negativity out and im not an invador... im just old woman sitting here with too little to do and no desire to do any thng that i have to do and my mind takes me into these areas.. or just dismiss me for what im worth if you want.. but it would be fun to know if I read anything by looking at your sweet face and reading your words.
an old woman who is scared to click on submit .. but afraid not to at the same time. there is no spam or hidden agenda in this.. i promise..

 

[FrChuckW]

I'm sorry that you feel that your Step-Father is being mean, by restricting the number of pets that you have. But you state that he really loves animals. But then you ridicule him for his lack of learning.

You think of yourself as handicapped, because that is what people around you have told you all your life. You stated you are legally blind in one eye, have had multiple suicide attempts, and other medical problems. You have been enabled all your life, taking the easy way out of things.

I have worked with children who are not only physically challenged but emotionally and mentally as well. I watch these kids strive to be "normal" in school to the best of their abilities. When I first started to read this thread, I though it was being written by someone who was 14 or 15 years old, not 20.

My oldest sister was involved in an accident that left her a paraplegic from the time she was 18 years old. I was 5 at the time, I watched her overcome her disabilities to work a full time job, help build a company from a small business to a multi million dollar a year company, drive her own car, and do alot of other things.

You have received some constructive advice on here and you resent it, because you know they are telling the truth. You need to buck up, take responsibility for your own life, seek out whatever programs are available to you to help yourself and grow up.

You need to start thinking of yourself as handicapable not handicapped and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Make the decisions that are positive for yourself and your situation, and leave the negative ones behind. Set goals for yourself, get your education, even if you do hate school. You will feel better about yourself as you accomplish each one of your goals.

I wish you well, good luck.

 

[MissPrissy]

Quote:
+1.

Until this thread I thought the OP was 15 years old.

You can't be an adult or treated like one unless you begin to act like one. You are as much fault here in your situation as the parents who are enabling you to be a child and not an adult.

With all your disabilities I am very sure you recieve some type of disability financial support.

I really don't get the pity party and poor mouth.

You are an adult. It's time you grab your life by both hands and take control of it.

If any support money is going into your parents bank accounts you really need to step up to the plate, even go to social services for help, and get your life under control.

If you need a guardian to approve your spending and living arrangements that can be granted through the courts.

Get a part-time job. Rent a room in dependant care home. Grow up and be proud of yourself and a make a real life - the one you want to live.