(ex)-boyfriend problems, advice needed

[77horses]

thats life sweety......i wish thats all i had to worry about.....your attitude might be part of your problem....i think you are looking for everyone to just feel sorry for you.....
we have all had or heart broken a time or two.....you will have many loves in your life....this wont be your last!

I am NOT looking for ANYONE to feel sorry for me. I could care less if you feel sorry for me or not. I created this thread to get advice on a relationship with an ex-boyfriend and to cope with it by talking about it. NOT to create a pity party. I'm sorry if you think otherwise. That is all. Thank you for your time.

 

[goldies99]

well...i am glad to hear that........and i gave you some good advice...i hope it helped!

 

[77horses]

well...i am glad to hear that........and i gave you some good advice...i hope it helped!

Telling me that it's not okay to cry and telling me that I created this thread for a pity party is not very good advice. But thanks for the other advice.

 

[redhen]

77Horses,.. we have all known you here for a long time..
Of course you can come here and talk to us!
Its all good. We luv ya, Kiddo..

 

[goldies99]

this was my advice to you dear.....and please dont put words in my mouth that i never said


girl you need to get a grip...and stop feeling sorry for yourself.....your boy is not coming back...he has moved on, and so should you.....what you can do, is learn from this...maybe change the person you were, that drove that guy away so it doesnt happen a second time....i know your heart is broken, and you think you just cant live.....but the turth is, you will live, and you will go on...and you will be a stronger person, or you will remain that clingy, needy girl no one wants to be with...the choice is yours....you are so young and have so much life ahead of you...go out and find it, look around you....see all you can see, and be all you can be...you have a life time to be with a man....but the time is not now.....get out of school and go to college....make something of your self....see the world....and remember, what you do, does not define you...what defines you, is how well you rise after you fall.....good luck......and stop crying!...there are far worse things to cry about....be thankful you have your health....i have a friend dying of cancer....and even HE is trying not to cry!

 

[77horses]

yeahh....you see, I'm going to be the bigger person here and just not respond in any other way other than thank you for your advice, and have a nice day.

 

[77horses]

77Horses,.. we have all known you here for a long time..
Of course you can come here and talk to us!
Its all good. We luv ya, Kiddo..

Thanks

 

[EweSheep]

Go hug a chicken! Laugh at its antics!

I promise you, it will get better! Before long, you will find someone and you can come back to this thread years later and have a good laugh! The first sweethearts are the hardest, the ones you remember the most. The guys in between don't compare until the man you marry...that is what makes it special!

 

[jamesbwood]

While there is a diversity of perspectives, experiences and personalities here, I do think everyone here is honestly trying to help you. Almost all of us have had our hearts broken at some time, many of us more than once. We all know where you are right now sucks hard. And we all also know that while he will always be your first, the pain will diminish in time.

I've said some harsh (but honest) things to you. To be blunt, my goal was not to make you feel better. While I do symapthize, I do not t think the "there there dear" approach is helpful or even respectful for the world of hurt you are in right now or for the woman you are about to become. My goal was to help you understand what (I think as a dude) happened so that your future relationships are healthier, happier and more successful. So that they are a balanced give and take between two respectful caring people. So that you rethink what love is, what it isn't and what it needs to thrive and grow.

It is up to you to decide what to take and what to leave from the advice here. None of us were there. None of us are you. All we have is your posts to go on. . . but there are certain strong patterns in them and many of us have picked up on different aspects of those. There are some common themes in the replies here.

It will get easier with time. Crying and being angry are a normal part of this. You can't help crying, its natural and normal and will hit you when you least expect it, so why try to fight it? When I mentioned setting reasonalbe goals, not crying isn't a good one as it isn't reasonable. Cry as much as you need to.

As for being angry, that is going to happen to. Just keep in mind that everyone here is trying to help - even if they tick you off.

I 2nd Chicken Therapy. It works and costs a lot less. And you can tell them anything you want.

James

 

[ChicknThief]

yeahh....you see, I'm going to be the bigger person here and just not respond in any other way other than thank you for your advice, and have a nice day.

I think you are misunderstanding Goldies dear. He/she was just trying to encourage you to let this make you stronger instead of break you. I know the pain you are experiencing makes it a little hard to see things clearly, but I didn't see anything offensive in his comment.

As many others have said, you will get through this dear. And we are all here for you to lean on.