(ex)-boyfriend problems, advice needed

[MamaRoo]

Good luck with your decision.

The one person you have to live with for the rest of your life is you, and you need to like who you are. Become someone you like.

 

[77horses]

Best of luck to you. Some lessons are best learned on your own, they are the ones that mean the most.

Also just as a FYI I looked at a couple of your posts, just remember there is always one true love there for you All those wonderful chickens you have. You can see how hapy they are with you. Enjoy them and again good luck

Thank you! haha yes, I love my chickens very much

 

[77horses]

Good luck with your decision.

The one person you have to live with for the rest of your life is you, and you need to like who you are. Become someone you like.

Good advice, thank you.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Desperation is a stinky perfume. Not to be mean or cruel, but you sound desperate. If that is the case, this boy is going to run for the hills and you will lose even the chance to be friends.

Back off. You are still in high school which means you are somewhere in the 14-19 age range. The odds of you finding Mr Right at that age are very, very slim. I know your head and your heart are telling you right now that this is the perfect guy for you, but just possibly that is because he has been the guy for a long time in your life and you don't want to be without a guy (and because all of the music and TV and movies that you watch tell you the same). Trust me. You will be fine. This guy is trying to be nice and gentle, but he clearly is done. He has walked away. He is no longer into you. Now you do the same. If you continue to call/tex/email/chase him down in the halls he will only run away faster and harder. Stalking is never pretty and it never, ever works with guys.

You are still young. You are still turning into the person that you will be. You do not have time for a boy right now. Be interesting. Be clever. Be fun and funny. Be smart. Take classes about things that interest you. Volunteer with groups that do good things. Make new friends. Develop new skills and talents. Become such a cool, interesting woman that at your ten year high school reunion this guy thinks "Dang. I never should have let her go." If you chase him now he will only think "Whew. I dodged a bullet there." Don't be that girl. You are so much more interesting than that.

Boyfriends will come and go. Who you are lasts forever. Work on that first. A man should think "Wow. I won! I am the luckiest guy in the world because 77Horses is willing to go out with me." You are worth it. Don't sell yourself short.

 

[CarolJ]

I'll be blunt. This makes me think of the show "Sex and the City" when the girls were sitting around trying to figure out why a guy broke up with one of them, another guy friend told them that when a guy breaks up with you - it's because he's "just not that into you." We try to make up excuses and reasons - "I was too clingy!" "His friends broke us up." "He had too many obligations." "We were too busy." "He's not over his previous girlfriend." The list of excuses go on and on - and vary from person to person. But IF he was really into you, he wouldn't have broken up with you. Sure there might be an exception here and there, but absolutely most of the time, even if there are problems, if we're really into someone, we stay with that person. Consider it a lesson learned, and move on.

And yes - this is based solely on what you wrote. If you feel your situation is different, then you have to do what you think is best.

 

[77horses]

I'll be blunt. This makes me think of the show "Sex and the City" when the girls were sitting around trying to figure out why a guy broke up with one of them, another guy friend told them that when a guy breaks up with you - it's because he's "just not that into you." We try to make up excuses and reasons - "I was too clingy!" "His friends broke us up." "He had too many obligations." "We were too busy." "He's not over his previous girlfriend." The list of excuses go on and on - and vary from person to person. But IF he was really into you, he wouldn't have broken up with you. Sure there might be an exception here and there, but absolutely most of the time, even if there are problems, if we're really into someone, we stay with that person. Consider it a lesson learned, and move on.

And yes - this is based solely on what you wrote. If you feel your situation is different, then you have to do what you think is best.

Hahah yes, I've read about that part in the show before too. That very well might be the case. In fact, it probably is. But I just feel like I need to talk to him on the phone one last time. It just feels like the right thing to do. Everything was done over text and I just feel like some things have been left unsaid between us and as long as it's like that, I'll never get over him. Maybe some things are better left unsaid, maybe not. I think I'm going to call him tomorrow night (which will be a week after the last time we spoke/broke up).
Thanks everyone.

 

[eenie114]

All I have for ya is a hug, 77. That and that I know how hard doing the right thing is.

I second everybody saying that chasing him will not be pretty.... 'Cause you KNOW that he'll be telling all his buddies about it. So if you chase him he'll be all "She went NUTS after we broke up, I was scared to even LOOK at my phone!" OR he'll be calm about it and tell everybody that it was good while it lasted, but you ended on a good note and you're a nice girl.

 

[CarolJ]

But I just feel like I need to talk to him on the phone one last time. It just feels like the right thing to do.

I don't think it will hurt to tell him that you want to talk to him for a few minutes. It's a type of closure since breaking up via a text message is so impersonal. Go into with confidence, though. You're a wonderful and fun person - and if he's not that into you - then that's fine - and you will be great without him.

By the way - the whole point of the "he's just not that into you" show on SATC was that it relieves a lot of pressure. People can drive themselves crazy trying to figure out why a relationship didn't work out. But sometimes things work out, and sometimes they don't. If they don't, you don't have to try to figure out what went wrong or what you did or what he did - He's just not that into you. I like that attitude.

I'm thinking of you - and sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

 

[redhen]

You wont be settled until you call him ...I would just do it.,myself and get it over with.
If he still feels the same..then you have your answer..and you REALLY need to then let it go and move on..
Which is hard..I know.
BUT ..you also need to think about WHY you were unhappy in your relationship..there WAS a reason you weren't happy..
See..its real easy NOW to say that it was all you..but there was something that was making you unhappy..

 

[chickened]

As said earlier when a guy dumps a girl it is over, chasing him does not work. Bid your time, be patient and let the guys come to you and play hard to get it weeds out the... well you know the guy that want the milk. Time is your friend.