I see it ALL the time in friends and family.. they spend several miserable , wasted years thinking that the guy will "change".. that it will "get better"..Yeah, I'm not surprised that you find it crazy that we bounce back so fast. Unfortunately, that is the way a lot of people are in my generation so that's actually pretty normal these days. It's kind of sad really, but I guess I've tended to get dragged into it as well sometimes. I think it's crazy too...I mean after my ex broke up with me I really did believe that it would take months, maybe even a year, before I even considered finding someone new. I told myself that I was done with dating for a little while because I was so hurt. A couple weeks went by and all the sudden I found myself having feelings for another guy, and I noticed that having feelings for someone else was a really good way to get my mind off my ex. I felt happier knowing that someone else liked me, and those mutual feelings for them made me feel happier and made the pain from my ex seem a lot easier to deal with (even though, yes, I know you shouldn't rely on a guy to be happy..). It just really helped having someone else, even though I kind of thought that it wasn't the best way to deal with pain by jumping from one relationship to the next. But the way I saw it, there were a lot of much worse ways that I could've dealt with the pain, so it wasn't that bad. And after all, it was a heck of a lot better to jump right to the next person and find another relationship than to spend days crying my eyes out and being depressed. So I guess that's why all this has happened in the span of a few weeks, and I'm not surprised it seems crazy to you guys.I think she is responding to going from "the love of your life" to maybe this new guy, to maybe not this new guy in under two weeks. At least from the perspective of us older people, that seems totally crazy - people need time to heal and learn. From the perspective of us older people, we don't usually ever consider a new person that fast unless we have "issues". We use terms like "love of my life" on time scales that typically span decades. I tend to associate "love of my life" with WW2 stories of people that were separated and found each other, or didn't, decades later. So all this drama in a short amount of time seems totally crazy to us.
What I'm not sure of is if this it at all unusual for someone that is 17. It probably isn't. It is just that you are bouncing around from ideas at a speed that makes us old folks cringe. That may simply be part of the process of growing up - I don't know. The pain you feel is very real but you can bounce back from it 10x faster than we, or at least I, can. This guy is out so next I suppose is the other one that was flirting with you. . . Or you could be single for a while and just be you.I still recommend that but figure it ain't gunna happen for any real lenght of time.
And she is right that you are going to do what you are going to do no matter what anyone here says. I picked up on that fairly early on also. I'd probably was exactly the same except that I doubt I would have posted anything publicly even under a pseudo-name. Your probably better off for posting - even if you don't agree with most of us most of the time, our ideas are in your head so your eyes are at least more open to potential problems. Most of us thought that guy was a potential problem - even me, the odd one out and the least worried.
James
PS It is kind of ironic that you draw the line at alcohol, which is legal at 21, and not marry j. I happen to agree that alcohol is the more dangerous of the two but that maybe because I was once hit by a drunk driver. The extra known risk I took back then was riding a motorcycle. The stats aren't pretty for your age group and accidental deaths involving alcohol - drinking and driving - is the number 1 "accidental" killer till something like age 35. Death is a real bummer. I advise that you avoid it as long as you can.
Actually, there is nothing wrong with being sad when you have a reason to be sad, its very important to learn how to deal with those kinds of feelings and to learn that pain is a normal part of the human experience and it is okay to feel pain and sadness. Note: I am referring to "normal" periods of mourning or sadness, not depression which is a different thing entirely.Yeah, I'm not surprised that you find it crazy that we bounce back so fast. Unfortunately, that is the way a lot of people are in my generation so that's actually pretty normal these days. It's kind of sad really, but I guess I've tended to get dragged into it as well sometimes. I think it's crazy too...I mean after my ex broke up with me I really did believe that it would take months, maybe even a year, before I even considered finding someone new. I told myself that I was done with dating for a little while because I was so hurt. A couple weeks went by and all the sudden I found myself having feelings for another guy, and I noticed that having feelings for someone else was a really good way to get my mind off my ex. I felt happier knowing that someone else liked me, and those mutual feelings for them made me feel happier and made the pain from my ex seem a lot easier to deal with (even though, yes, I know you shouldn't rely on a guy to be happy..). It just really helped having someone else, even though I kind of thought that it wasn't the best way to deal with pain by jumping from one relationship to the next. But the way I saw it, there were a lot of much worse ways that I could've dealt with the pain, so it wasn't that bad. And after all, it was a heck of a lot better to jump right to the next person and find another relationship than to spend days crying my eyes out and being depressed. So I guess that's why all this has happened in the span of a few weeks, and I'm not surprised it seems crazy to you guys.
As for the other guy, he still likes me, but I just don't feel like I like him more than a friend. He's nice and all, I just don't have any feelings for him. I don't know why.I guess I'll just be single for a while. Nothing wrong with that, I just thought it would be more fun and interesting to have a guy to hangout with over the summer other than my friends who are girls.
And yeah I guess I drew the line at alcohol because it has been known to cause more deaths and such, and I've known people who have been in car crashes and stuff due to drunk driving...Along with the fact that he suggested that I try it sometime. That just kind of completely changed my mind that he suggested it in the first place. -_-
You missed it?! I hated the teenage years, it is just as bad as being menopausal! Moody, cranky, the whole world is against you, parents don't "understand" your feelings, and all that emotional baggage. No thanks! Glad it was gone a LONG time ago! I certainly DONT missed it LOL!
I would miss what I know now, and how I have matured, the lessons I have learned, but I would so love to be able to leap to the car to grab the camera and not grunt getting up off the grass. I have always been chunky, it's age that has me stuck to the floor.Me either!!! I sure do miss my 20's though...
