(ex)-boyfriend problems, advice needed

[redhen]

Oh, if I could go back to high school, I wouldn't cull any of the "hens", if you catch my drift.

 

[77horses]

hahaha, y'all are funny. *chuckle*

 

[77horses]

Hello all

Just thought I would revisit this thread and give an update for anyone who cares to read or anyone who had been participating in this thread when it was more active.

It's been a little more than 2 months now since my ex and I broke up. I haven't heard from him at all and I have no idea what he's been up to or where he is. Nor do I really care. It still hurts sometimes, and I still think about him every so often. Of course, that's expected. It's a lot easier now though.
As for the skater guy that I liked, I didn't get involved with him at all. I admit that yeah, after you guys told me he was a bad idea, we did keep in contact for a couple more days but he asked me to do stuff that I was uncomfortable with, which I obviously declined, and he stopped talking to me after that. Due to past experience, I didn't bother chasing after him because for one, if he had wanted to talk to me he would've. And two, I was just done chasing after people who walked away, especially people who most likely were a bad idea in the first place, like you guys said. So I just let it go and did my own thing, which made things a lot less stressful on my part (keep in mind, just a couple weeks ago, after we stopped talking, the skater guy did message me and was all like "I miss talking to you" and stuff. I just chuckled to myself and decided not to respond, because it really wasn't worth it. He was obviously just using me and I'm not going to talk to someone who stops talking to me just because I refuse to let them use me. His loss, not mine.)

But, besides the benefit of saving myself a lot of added stress, letting go of my interest in the druggy skater guy had another benefit to it. If I had remained interested in him, I wouldn't have met this new person.

For a few weeks, I just did my own thing and didn't worry about guys and such. Then this new guy, we'll call him the funny guy, started talking to me, and we really hit it off. He's attractive, really nice, absolutely hilarious, and it's crazy how similar we are. We started talking and it just felt so natural and great. He goes to my school, and I don't see how we had never talked or been friends before, because he's like my long lost best guy friend. Once we started talking, we couldn't stop. We could just talk about everything there was to talk about, even the most random things, and we would text really late. One time we just stayed up until 5am talking. And it's not like we talk 24/7 and overdo it, we've had a routine going that works for us so that there's no pressure on when to text each other. He's almost always the one to text me first, but we're already comfortable enough with conversing that it doesn't really matter who starts the conversation or what it's about. Besides getting along really well, he's also not into drugs, he doesn't drink, and he goes to church, which is always a plus in my book.
But anyways, we've been friends now for a little over a month. A few weeks ago, he admitted to liking me and wanting to be more than friends at some point this summer, and I said that I felt the same. But we're taking it slow and still getting to know each other, which has been working great for both of us. I'm really starting to like him, and he said he wants to ask me out soon, but he wants to do it in person rather than over text or something. I just have a really good feeling about him so I'm hoping for the best.
So yeah, just thought I would update you all (or anyone who bothers to read this haha) on how things have turned out. Thanks for all the advice you guys have given me, it's interesting to go back and read some of the older posts. Honestly, some of them have me wondering what in the world I was thinking.

 

[sumi]

Your new guys sounds like a keeper. I'm glad you found someone decent that makes you happy. If I look back on past relationships I have lots of what-was-I-thinking? moments, I'm sure we all do! I guess we have to kiss a few frogs before we find our prince.
Friendship is always a good base for a relationship. My DH and I was friends for a few weeks before we took it further. We have a son, who's just turned 6, we eloped nearly 4 years ago and after 7 years together we're still in love and we're still friends. And we haven't run out of things to talk about!

 

[schellie69]

Glad to hear that you are moving forward with your life. Take things slow and see what happens it is always best to be in a relationship with someone who is your best friend because in time of trouble that will be what helps get you both though those time.

I did date a guy in high school that was not what most people would have dated, he started going to church with me started dressing nicer and started caring about school his mom said thanks for helping get him on the right track I didn't ask him to change I started as a friend and had him hang out with me my way church studying ect. He choose to start doing these things also. Sometime just being a friend can help people choose a different track. I am glad that you stuck to your values and what is important for you. Just keep in mind that this relationship to might end due to collage and life changes but remember it will help make you a better person. Keep moving forward and take care of you. Life of teenager changes so fast sometimes it is scary. High school goes by so fast before you know it you will be planning for collage. moving out on your own ect so know that this will change any relationship you are in just be prepared and understand that change is not always bad.

 

[redhen]

SEE!!! Told ya so!... lol
You didn't settle for less to just "have a guy"...and you met a better person for you...
Told ya so...told ya so...told ya so...neener..

Remember this as you get older...do NOT settle for less. SO many women do it and get stuck with creeps..

 

[gg706]

Glad to hear you are doing well! Break ups take time to get over, we wanted you take that time for yourself and work through it....I am glad you took some advice from people who have been there. MOST of the time young people don't listen....so you are ahead of the curve! Congrats on the new guy and good luck!

 

[77horses]

Ha. well I guess I spoke too soon guys. This new guy that I've been friends with for the past month, who said he liked me and wanted to date at some point, has decided to change his mind. For the second time. We were talking last night and he said he thought we should just be really good friends because he wasn't ready for a relationship right now because he was scared of how it would end due to how past relationships have ended. I said I understood and I knew how it felt to be scared because my last one ended badly too. But after talking for a bit he said he wanted to try a relationship anyways. But he wanted to ask me out "officially" in person the next time we hungout. So I was really happy how that had turned out.
Well. Just today he texts me and says that he actually thinks that we should just stay friends and that he felt like we rushed into it. So yeah. So much for that. I'm kinda really disappointed because I really liked him. And I still do. It just kinda sucks that he got my hopes up and then changed his mind. Commitment phobic, I guess.

But whatever.

 

[redhen]

 

[77horses]

So. I have thought about everything. And I've decided that I'm just gonna get over it. I kinda blew the funny guy off because I was hurt by how he changed his mind even though he did apologize and say that it was his fault, but he said he just felt rushed into things and wanted us to stay friends. So now that I think about it, I'm just going to let him know that I'm sorry if he felt rushed and that I want to stay friends. I know he probably doesn't like me anymore and that's bad enough, but it would be worse to lose him as a friend altogether. Whether that eventually turns into something more, who knows. But right now I guess I'm just going to have to accept it and move on.