Fattie's big fat RANT

[Funky Feathers]

So, last Sunday hubby & I went out to dinner with his daughter (who loves me). Everything was fine until I went to order my dinner. Hubby blew up at m,e for telling the waitress how I wanted my food (no onions, green stuff, spice, garnish-just plain)! It turned into a big argument and it didn't stop there. He had the nerve to call me a Fata** in front of Jen (21 years old), and then they ganged up on me to lecture me about my eating!! That also turned into a nasty argument. Then we went shopping and every time I got out of the car he told me how fat I am.

Enough already!!! Like he is one to talk (230 pounds, 6' tall). I can't help it if I hate exercise, veggies, spices, and diet crap.

Needless to say, I am NEVER going out to dinner with him again!

I thought husbands were supposed to treat their wives lovingly?? Through THICK and thin, not just thin??

 

[featherfinder]

Wow. I think at the moment I was called a fat*** I would have walked out and let them find their own way home. That is just mentally damaging and coming from a husband that says he loves you makes it even worse! I am so sorry that this happened to you and I would not wish it upon anyone. Sounds like hubby needs sometime out in the dog house....

 

[ChicknThief]

Wow. I think at the moment I was called a fat*** I would have walked out and let them find their own way home. That is just mentally damaging and coming from a husband that says he loves you makes it even worse! I am so sorry that this happened to you and I would not wish it upon anyone. Sounds like hubby needs sometime out in the dog house....

X2. That kind of rudeness and insensitivity is NEVER called for. Especially not in public. If he wants to gently bring the subject up to you, fine. But for God's sake man, do it in a private and loving manner! What he did was extremely ABUSIVE and damaging.

I'd have up and walked out.

 

[Darin115]

You have to be kidding me!!! Being a loving husband myself, and rather larger (6'3" 270lbs), I would never ever call my wife or any other lady that. It may run through my mind but it would never come from these lips.

If I did have a lapse of judgement and it spewed from my mouth I would never ever ever hear the end of it. I would probably get slapped (and I would deserve it) and not be spoken to for a few years. It would probably end in her crying until she got over me and filed for divorce.

Then he continued his abuse the rest of the evening?? Yep, you should have left them there and went home right after you told the rest of the world that he was lacking in many other ways.

Darin

 

[Oregon Blues]

Just in case. You don't have to go through with it, so it might just be information gathering. But get an appointment with a divorce lawyer and learn what the divorce laws are in your state. Learn how you can protect yourself.

Your hubby might have just been having a very bad day (has he had his blood sugar checked?), but he also might be getting tired of how you look and dreaming that he can do better. It's not rare for people to start fights so they can leave and not have it be their fault.

Some men will wander off over nothing. If he decides to leave you, he will not take care of you and don't fool yourself into thinking he would never hurt you. Learn how to protect yourself, and then if it just turns out he was having a grumpy day, it doesn't hurt you to know new information.

 

[theoldchick]

Has this ever happened before? If so, go get counseling. You have every right to be angry, and look at the example he set for his daughter. Now she thinks it okay to degrade people in such a fashion. She'll eventually treat her spouse and children in the same manner. In this situation I would have left the two and driven home.

 

[Spookwriter]

I always figured a person kinda knows what size they are.
No need to point it out...

Something else I sorta figured out, is that there just isn't
much need in saying something with the intention of hurting
another persons feelings.

 

[Funky Feathers]

Thanks guys. I think he is mad at me b/c I used to be slim & sexy and he wants that body back. I got fat in 2008, we married in 2009, he knew I was fat. But now he is trying (the wrong way) to change me. Regardless of the fact that I was never physically attracted to HIM. I married him for who he is not what he looks like. So if I want a guy with a nice body & face I have to live in my own little fantasy world. I will never enjoy true lust again, those days are over for me. Yet he wants it back from me!

 

[bgelber]

Wow. I think at the moment I was called a fat*** I would have walked out and let them find their own way home. That is just mentally damaging and coming from a husband that says he loves you makes it even worse! I am so sorry that this happened to you and I would not wish it upon anyone. Sounds like hubby needs sometime out in the dog house....

X3 I may not have left but there is no way I could have eaten. I get very emotional when it comes to stuff like that and hubby knows it.
Oh and there would have been no speaking to anyone at that table from me!

 

[featherfinder]

I agree with some of the other comments. Counceling sounds like a good idea. Maybe it will help you guys to work out this problem. I would make it very clear to him though that what he said was very hurtful and is damaging. Things happen over time and when you marry someone it is for better or worse! I am still in amazement that your husband actually said that to you in that way and in public none the less. Stick up for your self and dont let him beat you down! As long as you are happy with your self then that is all that matters and dont let anyone tell you different!!!!