For all the parents out there....

[PineBurrowPeeps]

Quote:
Don't you think that's keeping them under your thumb to the extreme?

nope. they all have very active social lives, but in my opinion they have no business worrying about girlfriends until they are adults. i mean, if they were to like a girl, i would be all for dropping them off at the movies or maybe to get something to eat, as long as they were with another group, or a sibling tagged along. obviously when they were a bit older i might be more lax in this. if they are simply wanting to enjoy each others company, than they wont have a problem being in a group. if they have ulterior motives, then its my job as a parent to discourage that sort of behavior until they are adult enough to deal with what may or may not come of it. we arent religious freaks or overprotective or anything, we just think firm boundaries are good for our kids.

As you have every right to

 

[agnes_day]

thank you!

 

[deb1]

Quote:
Don't you think that's keeping them under your thumb to the extreme?

nope. they all have very active social lives, but in my opinion they have no business worrying about girlfriends until they are adults. i mean, if they were to like a girl, i would be all for dropping them off at the movies or maybe to get something to eat, as long as they were with another group, or a sibling tagged along. obviously when they were a bit older i might be more lax in this. if they are simply wanting to enjoy each others company, than they wont have a problem being in a group. if they have ulterior motives, then its my job as a parent to discourage that sort of behavior until they are adult enough to deal with what may or may not come of it. we arent religious freaks or overprotective or anything, we just think firm boundaries are good for our kids.

This isn't extreme. You aren't saying that they can't hang out with the members of the opposite sex but if they want to be together it has to be in a group. That is reasonable.

In the future if a young man or woman really likes your child, they should have no trouble with these rules.

 

[Katy]

Quote:
Don't you think that's keeping them under your thumb to the extreme?

nope. they all have very active social lives, but in my opinion they have no business worrying about girlfriends until they are adults. i mean, if they were to like a girl, i would be all for dropping them off at the movies or maybe to get something to eat, as long as they were with another group, or a sibling tagged along. obviously when they were a bit older i might be more lax in this. if they are simply wanting to enjoy each others company, than they wont have a problem being in a group. if they have ulterior motives, then its my job as a parent to discourage that sort of behavior until they are adult enough to deal with what may or may not come of it. we arent religious freaks or overprotective or anything, we just think firm boundaries are good for our kids.

I had boundaries for my kids too, but those boundaries allowed them to spread their wings a bit while they were still under our roof before they went off to college at 18. I chose to trust my kids until they gave me a reason not to......which didn't happen too often.

I will say if you think everybody always stays together on group outings you are sorely mistaken.

 

[agnes_day]

no but if there is an adult present, than there is a good chance they will.
but what works for my kids might be totally wrong for someone elses kids though, everone is different

 

[Emzyyy]

Quote:
LOL!

Im not one of those silly girls on myspace and facebook declairing their "love" to this boy they just met ahaa its silly.

My cousins both got pregnant at 15. I don't plan on making the same mistakes they did. Caleb's parents are strict anyway. He has a job in his grandfather's construction buisness and earns his own gas money and pays for insurance on his truck which he bought. He has to keep straight A's to keep his truck too. My mom knows about him its my dad we're keeping the secret from SHHH!!

I would be locked in my room to the end of time if he knew I even liked boys

. We will prob tell him at some point...maybe.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
nope. they all have very active social lives, but in my opinion they have no business worrying about girlfriends until they are adults. i mean, if they were to like a girl, i would be all for dropping them off at the movies or maybe to get something to eat, as long as they were with another group, or a sibling tagged along. obviously when they were a bit older i might be more lax in this. if they are simply wanting to enjoy each others company, than they wont have a problem being in a group. if they have ulterior motives, then its my job as a parent to discourage that sort of behavior until they are adult enough to deal with what may or may not come of it. we arent religious freaks or overprotective or anything, we just think firm boundaries are good for our kids.

I had boundaries for my kids too, but those boundaries allowed them to spread their wings a bit while they were still under our roof before they went off to college at 18. I chose to trust my kids until they gave me a reason not to......which didn't happen too often.

I will say if you think everybody always stays together on group outings you are sorely mistaken.

Neither you nor the mother of 5 boys 1 girl are wrong. You both have boundaries that make you feel comfortable with your children's interaction with the opposite sex.

 

[fordmommy]

You're getting a lot of voters. Good job.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
LOL!

Im not one of those silly girls on myspace and facebook declairing their "love" to this boy they just met ahaa its silly.

My cousins both got pregnant at 15. I don't plan on making the same mistakes they did. Caleb's parents are strict anyway. He has a job in his grandfather's construction buisness and earns his own gas money and pays for insurance on his truck which he bought. He has to keep straight A's to keep his truck too. My mom knows about him its my dad we're keeping the secret from SHHH!!

I would be locked in my room to the end of time if he knew I even liked boys

. We will prob tell him at some point...maybe.

I think that your dad would love him if you weren't attracted to him. Maybe you can invite him for dinner without telling your dad he is more then a friend. Get your dad used to the idea slooo...oowly.

 

[bawkbawkbawk]

depends on soooooo many variables. Only YOUR parents know you well enough to know how ready you are for dating. Other parents' opinions and their experiences with their children are anecdotal at best and may or may not apply to you. I would just encourage you to try to trust your parents' love for you and engage in an ongoing dialogue with them about this.

My own experience with raising four kids was that the girls were more ready/aware/savvy at 16 than my boys. My oldest son became very serious about a girl in 8th grade and was NOT ready but so smitten by her (and she was sooooo persistent) that it became a very difficult situation for our family. The relationship waxed and waned (the waning mostly at our insistence) throughout high school and into college and he eventually ended the relationship (probably because he no longer needed it as a means of rebellion against his parents

)

Now that he's in his 20's, he's compeltely relationship-shy as a result. Go figure. Has a darling gf who we adore and now he won't commit. Sigh.