Foster Parenting

[Boyd]

most of the children that you would get are really more afraid of a new home than anything else. After being here for a couple of weeks, they never want to leave

You can find predators out there, but that is THE worst case scenario. Most of these kids are victims of abuse and neglect. They just want someone and somewhere to feel safe, wanted and loved.

 

[wanda047]

If I were to rate the children that i have taken over the past 4 years I would tell you that 90 % are sweet, loving children who have been living in some really sad situations. The children are not the ones with the problems.. it's the parents! Meth is a big problem in our area. Once these parents are arrested on drug charges, the children are placed in foster care.

We've acquired children who have no idea what "mealtime" is. they just eat when they can and what they can. They will horde/hide food, because they are scared of being hungry. The night before we adopted our little girl, I asked her if she was sure she wanted us to adopt her. Her response was, "I never want to be hungry again." Enough said.

With a little guidance most of these children turn out to be wonderful children. That's not to say they are perfect by any means.... but whose children are?

I could tell you some funny stories... others that would break your heart. And then... I could tell you some horror stories. Those are few and far between. Foster Care is a wonderful experience, but NOT FOR EVERYBODY!!!

 

[Sillystunt]

We are foster parents here in Florida. We are new to it but already are getting burnt out! It is fustrating when these kids come to you and boom they are gone! We seem to get them straight from DCF.

At the moment this is the first weekend we haven't had any, which is a good thing. It just feels weird not to have a house full of screaming kids,lol.

We started wanting only girls since the room is purple but all they send us is boys. Which include my 2 makes for a tierd Mommy!

I think it's great for people to want to foster. it takes alot of patience, guidence and ADVIL to make it. I think once my husband secures his promotion we will look into adopting instead of fostering.

When my first long term placement went home i cried for a week and it was very hard. i just kept telling myself he was happy and i know he is. I just never realized how much i had gotten attached to him. NOR did i realize the impact it would have on my children having him leave.

oh yeah, and every kid that has come through our home LOVED our chickens!!

 

[Sillystunt]

Quote:
Boyd, the vw vus can seat up to 9 depending on the seats. Mine seats 7

 

[farmerlor]

Really. They don't need you to love them, in fact they don't even want to hear that because half the time the people who told them they loved them had either just hurt them or did right after telling them that. In the beginning they just want to KNOW that you will be there every morning at 7 o'clock (or whenever) and you'll be offering them something for breakfast. They need to KNOW that you'll be tucking them in at bedtime and that bedtime will always be the same time. That kind of consistency is the first step towards building trust, showing them how families operate and setting the stage for some kind normalcy someday in their lives. You may fall in love with them the moment they walk in the door but they need time to understand what that means.

 

[wanda047]

half the time the people who told them they loved them had either just hurt them or did right after telling them that

So true. I remember one of the first foster children I got... a 14 year old girl. She had been given up for adoption at birth, then abused by her adoptive parents. When she found out she was going up for adoption the second time, her response was, "I've had two moms... why would I want another?" It broke my heart.

Two days ago, this same young lady paid me a visit. She is now going on 18 years old and still in the foster care system. She chose to remain in foster care instead of being adopted. She still calls me MOM and visits often. She says she misses us and misses being part of a family. Not all foster parents actually blend their foster children in to their familes. I always did. I worry about these children and what kind of parents they will be. Hopefully we've made a difference somehow.

I stated in a post earlier that my husband and I were taking a break.. we only have 1 foster child presently. We're really burned out. It's been an emotional roller coaster for us. A part of us wants to quit. Another part of us worry about all those kids out there who need us. My husband keeps telling me we can't save the whole world. Wouldn't it be nice if we could?​

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
Boyd, the vw vus can seat up to 9 depending on the seats. Mine seats 7

https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/uploads/13039_l_f698cfbab2edc1de43bcbd8a003f2a22.jpg

I am SO Jealous! I've wanted one of those forever!!!!!!!!

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
If you could make the difference in a few lives over your lifetime of being a foster parent.....

Most of these kids are born without hope unless they find their way into families like this.

 

[farmerlor]

Quote:
So true. I remember one of the first foster children I got... a 14 year old girl. She had been given up for adoption at birth, then abused by her adoptive parents. When she found out she was going up for adoption the second time, her response was, "I've had two moms... why would I want another?" It broke my heart.

Two days ago, this same young lady paid me a visit. She is now going on 18 years old and still in the foster care system. She chose to remain in foster care instead of being adopted. She still calls me MOM and visits often. She says she misses us and misses being part of a family. Not all foster parents actually blend their foster children in to their familes. I always did. I worry about these children and what kind of parents they will be. Hopefully we've made a difference somehow.

I stated in a post earlier that my husband and I were taking a break.. we only have 1 foster child presently. We're really burned out. It's been an emotional roller coaster for us. A part of us wants to quit. Another part of us worry about all those kids out there who need us. My husband keeps telling me we can't save the whole world. Wouldn't it be nice if we could?

We had to give up fostering when we adopted our last two babies. We always fostered very young children and then just very medically fragile infants. When we gave up fostering I started having nightmares where I'd see little baby seats with crying infants sitting in the middle of the street or on top of moving cars or on roofs....you get the idea, babies in precarious life or death situations that only I could save them from. I finally realized that it was pretty arrogant to think I was the only person in the world out there who could help those babies but I still wish I could still have those tiny babies in the house. Miss those two am feedings.

 

[lagpmgdsls]

I have been a foster parent for 6 years now. Adopted 2 boys who are now 10 and 7 and will be finalizing he adoption of my daughter within the next few weeks. She is 20 months. I also have a 15 yr old biological son. I want to continue to foster but I just don't have the bed space at this point. I also work 3 evenings a week and my mom babysits for me but she is getting older and its alot on her to add more kids to the mix.

I need a husband who can stay home with the kids when I go to work...LOL