Friendship rules

[redhen]

My husband and i are best friends also. I have a few friends that are girls..but its just not the same. My hubby is a much better friend than any "girl" friend i've ever had.

 

[English Chick]

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[ChevygirlBeth]

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I love this... it is so completely true. Last year I learned a lot about who my true friends were. Some of the people who I had spent time with were a huge drain on me and I didn't even see it until after things blew up and we went our separate ways. Now I have just a few close friends other than my DH (he is my BEST friend) and my family and life is great.

No more stressing about how one friend might be mad if I don't call her this week to catch up. My real friends love me the same if I talk to them every day, once a month, or once a year. They understand that life is busy. However, whenever we do reconnect, it's like nothing ever changed.

 

[HarlansHollowFarms]

To me many people come into you life, you learn from them, and then they are gone. Not everyone is going to be a close friend, in fact very few will.
My husband is a best friend, and so is my friend Brenda. I wish I could say DH was all I needed, I would be lying. Men and women are different and sometimes I need a 'girlfriend', not DH. He is a great man, but he is still a man!

 

[Black Feather]

I agree that friendships like relationships need to be worked at. Like everything though, people will change and some of your friends will drift away like a leaf on the water, and others will draw closer. I find that if you are the one always reaching out to someone and are not being reached out to, then the friendship is probably drifting apart. It stinks, but is a fact of life.....it even happens with best friends.

I can understand the "find someone you can tolerate aspect of finding a partner". I find many people do not understand the concept of respect. For me personally I find that I show respect, but are not necessarily give respect in return....hence I end up not being able to tolerate an individual because they are disrespectful.

UC

 

[Lady Lavendar]

people will change and some of your friends will drift away like a leaf on the water, and others will draw closer. I find that if you are the one always reaching out to someone and are not being reached out to, then the friendship is probably drifting apart. It stinks, but is a fact of life.....it even happens with best friends.

I'm going through this right now.. I lost a friend recently due to a stupid and inconsequential argument during an extremely stressful situation. After the argument we were never the same and then he just wouldn't talk to me at all. I loved him so much that even now after 7 months it still hurts to think about when we were all together. Sean knew him for years and only recently had he and I become friends. It kills us both that he won't let us work on the relationship.

 

[debilorrah]

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I have friend like that. Shortly after I became engaged, she just stopped talking to me. Completely cut me off. With no explanation whatsoever. I left messages, I emailed her, etc. Nothing yet and it has been almost a year.

 

[hikerchick]

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I am curious why you wish he were all you needed?

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

I have had sooo many people that I thought were friends just not put in their 50% of the relationship. A friendship, whether it be just a friendship or an actual relationship, should never be one sided.

I just recently went through a situation where I realized I was the only reaching out to someone who had once been a great friend. The decision was extremely difficult, but I decided to cut my ties with that person. I figured if they realized they still wanted to be friends with me, they would call and put in more of an effort. And guess what...I haven't heard form that person so I'm pretty sure I made the right decision by cutting ties.

That's not the first time that's happened to me and I'm sure it won't be the last. I do know that surrounding myself with people who do call me and invite me to do things has shown me a whole new side of friendship. Before I had entered college, I was always the one who planned things or called people. Now I still call people, but others take part to plan things too!

I find my biggest problem is that I grow up and people who I was once very compatible with just don't. A lot of them decided not to go away to college and are stuck at home doing the same things they've been doing for the past 20 years. There's not a whole lot of opportunity to grow up in that sort of a situation! Therefore, I meet new people on my level and I drift away from them. Its hard, losing friends...but I've come to accept it as a natural way of life.

 

[HarlansHollowFarms]

Whats not to love!

Whoa, had to make him smaller!