grannys gone and done it

[Mutt Farm]

I picked up those steroids today and after looking at them I THINK I had bad problems with them not too long ago. your supposed to step down and I had to stop them fast but dont remember why.. so I think i wont take them..

I'm no dr, but steroids have helped me immensely on occasion. Yeah, you're not supposed to just stop. Bet they'd help a lot with your inflammation and you could leap tall buildings in a single bound! I was superwoman! Swelled up like a boiled hot dog, but sure felt better. I looked up the xoralto. Looks like it's way better and WAY more expensive that the rat poison Mom and I were on. She was medicare, but I had private $$$ ins.

 

[Mutt Farm]

Can anyone see my post.

nope.

 

[rIrs roost]

nope. 

Thanks mutt. I didn't think so

 

[rIrs roost]

I'll be back later if y'all are still on.

 

[enola]

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
_____________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school

reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his

drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking

right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he

hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
________________________________
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,

making beer.. Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing

scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into

the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again

I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the

grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
_____________________________
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
________________________________
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the

boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential

downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather

would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;

now with a different anticipation,

and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
_______________________________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
______________________________
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply

for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me
for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets
and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that
I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped

your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you

to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's **** near perfect."
And then the fight started........
________________________________
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.
________________________________
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot

as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.

It is going to take me for ever to figure out which one Iiked best!!!

 

[Mutt Farm]

I had every intention of calling the pound this morning. I dont know whats stopping me. those nightmares last night i think. LOL
Red, wishing is at 9 !

Blooie has 7 .

For sure! The nightmares and guilt. Saving a pitiful unloved critter. That's real. Sucks, but real.

Your nightmare got to me. I have a recurrent nightmare of a wagon in a parade, filled with momma dogs and boiling over with pups. The pups are falling off the edges. I'm running alongside trying to catch them and put them back and the momma dogs are biting me. It's horrible.
I know I keep posting that I'm going to shut up. That's an oxymoron now isn't it! The RIGHT thing your brain tells you to do isn't always what you heart allows. You'll know when you're done trying.

 

[campingshaws]

I made a yucky supper. It keeps creepy up my throat. Then I drink milk to push it back down.

 

[Granny Hatchet]

I made a yucky supper.

It keeps creepy up my throat. Then I drink milk to push it back down.

welcome to my life

 

[Granny Hatchet]

camping, love the heads !

 

[campingshaws]

camping, love the heads ! 

Me too! A local guy does those. He's super generous, too.