grannys gone and done it

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This is a little late and will probably get in trouble for this but thought it was funny

Do you know what happened 165 years ago this summer....
September 9, 1850?


California became a state!

The people had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.


So basically NOTHING has changed except, then the women had real boobs and the men didn't hold hands.

That, my friends, is the history lesson for today.
 
I am sure we can all relate to at least one of the following

> SOME OF THESE ARE REALLY FUNNY AND SOME HIT CLOSE TO HOME. ENJOY.

> Subject: Getting Old


> · I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
>
> · Old age is coming at a really bad time!
>
> · When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!
>
> · The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
>
> · Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
>
> · I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights." I'm very wise.
>
> · My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
>
> · Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
>
> · If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
>
> · The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes" .
>
> · I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
>
> · When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?
>
> · I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my kids took it!
>
> · Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!
>
> · Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
>
> · Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW.
>
> · Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
>
> · Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
>
> · At my age "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why I went there.
 
Saved the best for last and then I will go quietly.....
Confused
I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows.
BAM !!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing.

I hope that you are now just as enlightened as I am
 
just remembered what she did yesterday. I was pulling weeds for the chickens and she thought it seemed like a good idea.  she ate a lot of i dont know what kind.  I thought it very funny that she is doing things I am doing. 
Lol granny , she probably is ready to blow with the extra roughage in her gut. Its probably gurgling cuz she either is fixing to vomit or blow from the other end. You may want to take her outside with you when you go.
Sure hope your bladder gets to feeling better. Lots of troubles in that department myself and kidney stones are very painful. Prayers for you that its only a bladder infection. Not that you want that either. Start drinking cranberry juice ASAP. Personally I hate the taste of the stuff so I take a cranberry capsule everyday. It helps me a lot.
 
Saved the best for last and then I will go quietly.....
[COLOR=006600]Confused[/COLOR]
[COLOR=006600]I became confused when I heard the word[/COLOR] [COLOR=FF0000]"Service"[/COLOR][COLOR=FF0000] [/COLOR][COLOR=006600]used with these agencies:[/COLOR]

[COLOR=006600]Internal Revenue[/COLOR] [COLOR=FF0000]'Service'[/COLOR] [COLOR=006600]U.S. Postal[/COLOR] [COLOR=FF0000]'Service'[/COLOR] [COLOR=006600]Telephone[/COLOR] [COLOR=FF0000]'Service'[/COLOR] [COLOR=006600]Cable TV[/COLOR][COLOR=CC0000] [/COLOR][COLOR=FF0000]'Service'[/COLOR][COLOR=CC0000] [/COLOR] [COLOR=006600]Civil[/COLOR] [COLOR=FF0000]'Service'[/COLOR] [COLOR=006600]State, City, County & Public[/COLOR] [COLOR=FF0000]'Service'[/COLOR] [COLOR=006600]Customer[/COLOR] [COLOR=FF0000]'Service'[/COLOR] [COLOR=006600]This is not what I thought[/COLOR] [COLOR=FF0000]'Service'[/COLOR][COLOR=006600] [/COLOR][COLOR=006600]meant.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=006600]But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to[/COLOR] [COLOR=FF0000]'Service'[/COLOR][COLOR=006600] [/COLOR][COLOR=006600]a few cows.[/COLOR] [COLOR=FF0000]BAM[/COLOR][COLOR=FF0000]!!! [/COLOR] [COLOR=006600]It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=006600]I hope that you are now just as enlightened as I am[/COLOR]
OMG Twist you figured it out. It seems like we all have to bend over and take some SERVICE on occasion :lau
 
Well I need to run and gets some work done on this rainy Friday. All ready slept in, spent time on here and looking at the clock its 1:00 in the afternoon already. Better get my big caboose a movin' lol.
 
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