Great DH, bad dogs! another update page 11

[deb1]

Quote:
Why would his hoping you have a nice day be lame?

Maybe he knows that he is wrong, so he is making little gestures of reconcilation. Don't let your anger get in the way of reaching him halfway.

I think that once he understands not only how important this is to you, but that you are willing to meet him half way,(doggie diapers, medicine) that he will feel much better.

Also, be sure to listen to him. Sometimes people think that they are angry about one issue when it is really something different that is bugging them. So, be sure to ask if he is feeling pressure in some other area of his life. The dogs might just be a convient scape goat for some bigger issue in his life.

 

[thebritt]

What an absolute BUMMER...I've been there, and it sucks. The head games can get pretty intollerable. Maybe, you can go ahead and go to bed and leave a note to "re-schedule" your "appointment". But if you're like me, I lose sleep just thinking about all the possible lines the conversation may take. Usually, with us, he says what's annoying him, and when it's my turn, I'm the obvious idiot (he's got a minor in philosophy and uses "logic" to twist reality

). So sorry you're going thru this, but maybe it's all coming out in the wash, and this relationship wasn't meant to be long-term. I'm one of those "Love me, love my dog" people. Luckily, this isn't OUR sticking point, or we would never have been together for 20 yrs!
I'd be interested in updates, and it's nice to have somewhere to vent. You can PM me if you want. Otherwise, I'll just keep checking this thread! Hang in there and GOOD LUCK! Get some rest!

 

[Califowlday]

Recommending two more books "emotional vampires" by Albert j. Bernstein, Ph. D. And "Why does he do that inside the minds of angry and controlling men" by Lundy.

 

[HenPen]

Quote:
Yeah, putting a 17 year old dog that's never spent more than a few minutes outside sounds like an excellent idea, she'd be better off putting it to sleep than to traumatize it like that.
The young dogs I could compromise on if it were me...maybe they spend the day outside and sleep in crates indoors at night or something but the old dog should not be put to live outside no matter what.

The dog would be just fine. It most likely would be happier outside. It could have a nice fenced in 'housy' spot made for it....VERY well worth it if she values her husbands feelings!!!

Her husbands feeling?? What about hers?? Its her house was before they married still is completely in her name he knew prior to the marriage the dogs lived in the house(they slept in her bed with her) he was ok with the dogs being there before they married just did not want them in the bed she has stopped that,she has changed many other things to accomodate him but he continues to not only throw fits and ignore her but to LEAVE the home for several days....he has control issues and if they are going to save the marriage joint counseling is needed if he is not open to that then maybe his disappearing adventures should be extended.

 

[Elite Silkies]

Quote:
Why would his hoping you have a nice day be lame?

Maybe he knows that he is wrong, so he is making little gestures of reconcilation. Don't let your anger get in the way of reaching him halfway.

I think that once he understands not only how important this is to you, but that you are willing to meet him half way,(doggie diapers, medicine) that he will feel much better.

Also, be sure to listen to him. Sometimes people think that they are angry about one issue when it is really something different that is bugging them. So, be sure to ask if he is feeling pressure in some other area of his life. The dogs might just be a convient scape goat for some bigger issue in his life.

Did he show up for his appointment? If so, how did it go. Still wondering why, he feels it's an appointment.

At this point, I feel like he is trying to make you choose between him and your dogs. I think the way he is handling the situation is unfair and childish.

I still feel that a dog that has been an inside dog all of their lives, would not adjust to well to the outside life.

Hang in there, your strong enough to get through this.

 

[horsejody]

Quote:
Ditto

 

[Wifezilla]

I still stick by my stance that he needs to GTFU*

(*GROW THE FRACK UP!)

 

[Queen Scoot]

 

[LegHorn-BusHorn]

OK, He showed up around 8:15 pm....right then and there I told him I was in a bad mood and very tired. We tried to talk anyway. He said he does't want me to change anything that he was upset with my attitude towards him after the incident. (sometimes I do have attitude, just because to me it is no big deal and thats my attitude) He did apologize for treating me the way he did. But anyway, we didn't come to any kind of resolution because of my attitude. Now keep in mind, this is my perspective, not his. He ended up leaving for the night. And now, as I am writing this he calls. He wants to try to talk more, again I say I am totally drained and tired. We talk for a short while, and now we are going to try again tomorrow to talk. I hope we can work it out but I can't put up with many more incidents like this. Thanks all. The saga continues. I will keep you all posted.

 

[Califowlday]

Thanks for the update. We support you