help! DH doesn't want chix...

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You shouldn't need permission. Input, yes. Permission, no. A flat out demand that you not have a reasonable pet or pets is controlling. Does he have control issues in other areas? Your opinions and wants should be equal to his. A compromise, such as a limited number, is more in order than a ban. Show him these posts. Maybe he will realize how important it is to you to have something to call your own, instead of just having and doing what he wants. Living under somebody's thumb is very unfortunate.
Good luck.
 
I knew I might be opening a can of worms.
Ewesheep and horsejody, I do agree with both of your posts.
I am not without income of my own, but my income is tied up on other things right now. That leaves my SO paying for the feed and upkeep of my animals. Animals he never planned to have before I moved here.
I wasn't addressing the issue of whether the OP should have chickens or not, as much as I was speaking of getting animals behind the partner's back.
As I said it's all about compromise. He doesn't do things without consulting me first either.
I have multiple health issues. Some days, much as I hate it, my SO has to assume the responsibility of caring for my animals for me. He does this willingly because he loves me and we agreed to these animals beforehand.
It could be different. Yes I love my animals, but if I had to depend on someone that didn't want the animals to help me out from time to time I'd feel like ****.
 
I'd say it's more about respect than permission. IMO a relationship based on agreements is much stronger than one that exists in spite of disagreements. If you can't convince your SO I guess you have to decide what's more important to you, the relationship or the chickens. If it's the chickens...well, I guess the conclusion is obvious.
 
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NYREDS said it perfectly and did it without having to use the ton of words I did.
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That sounds about like something I would do.
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Fourtantly, I've never had this problem with my SO. If he told me no, I'd probably whine and cry and do it anyway, and he likes that about me.
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Sometimes I wish he WOULD tell me no.. Then we might not have so much, lol! But he's just as into all this as I am.
 
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OMG I swear our hubbys are brothers!! Mine complains every time I buy more eggs..."You're gonna get overrun again...blah blah". Then I say well, like last time I'll give the overstock away or sell them...so there. I tell him I don't complain about his watch hobby so don't complain about my chickens, it gives me something to do.
He gave me half of our leanto in the back of the property...And I also had to build my own coop, although he would watch me through the binoculars(he's hilarious) and saw me struggling one day trying to dig through hard ground for a fence post and felt bad for me so he dug that one. And he also felt guilty when my dad was helping build the coop and came out and screwed in a few pieces of OSB.
He just doesn't like all the dust it causes keeping the chicks in the basement. It was because of the dust that he ended up giving me the other half of the leanto now...More room for another coop, whoot!! But now he also gets a new building to replace it since that was where his lawn equipment was kept.
Even though he complains a lot, he also never fails to remind me to take fresh eggs to his mom...He's something else!
 
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gritsar and NYREDs,
agreed. It is about respect. If you can get the chickens first, then discuss (in an oopsy, look what I brought home manner), and it doesn't cause divorce, then do it. Im all for that approach because thats basically what i had to do. we wouldnt have any of our animals (which my husband loves them all) if it were up to him. But I also know where to draw the line with that approach. I also want a mini donkey. Im not 'allowed' to get that either. Wouldnt try, that would be crossing the line. We would need to agree on that, or I know that would cause a war at our house. The thing is, I want a farm, my husband doesnt, so we compromise. But not without him puting up a fight first. It sounds like your husband doesnt want a farm either, and you just need to work it out, respectfully with each other and compromise. I will tell you though, that my husband now sees how much I love having chickens and he doesnt care at all. His biggest thing was he didnt want my hobby to become another thing on his to do list. I think this is the way with most issues like this. In the winter, my husband had to break the ice for the horses, he had to muck out the coral with the tractor, Im alergic to hay so he had to stack hay for me. That was a lot to put on someone who didnt want a horse to begin with.
they're just not that much work, and so much fun for me that I happily do the work myself, and he doesnt care. Your husband would probably agree too, if he is reasonable, and Im sure he is.
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Glad to know none of us is alone when dealing with a loving, but sometimes hard headed, spouse. My husband had no idea what was about to hit him when we got married. He knew I wanted dogs and wanted to show them, we started at one, now we have four, and next year will add another of our own breeding. He has lovingly put up with it, even if he grumbles about it sometimes. Because we don't have small dogs, we have large 90lb dogs. Everything is bigger and more expensive. But he loves the dogs now.

One day I decided I wanted chickens. I went out and brought them home. Had them set up and cozy before he walked in the door. He was really not all that happy about it. But, he loves me(Still, can you believe it?) and he loves welding, so he made me a beautiful coop. Which I told him he could build and sell others like it for a profit. He found that idea intriguing. Now, he adores the chickens and is Very proud of them. He told all his co-workers about the eggs we started gathering and showed his friends our egg carton when they visited. He collects bugs for them and feeds them bites off his apple or whatever he is eating. I tell him we are going to get more and he says 'ummm, I don't know about that!' - but I know he won't mind. He is fascinated by them and it has proved to be a great experience for my entire family. My parents too love being around the chickens. Even my mom who was afraid of them(a rooster attacked her when she was a young child) is happily sitting outside with them during the late afternoon. So, yes, adding another living being to the household does take work and time and effort. But once you start collecting those eggs and see what joy it brings, it seems to soften the edges of everyone around and it is a happy peaceful feeling. My husband loves to hear the chickens cluck and talk. I am sure your husband will too.

Perhaps if you help him see this isn't just a passing fad, and that you have done your research and have a plan of action. Let him know the pros of keeping chickens(chicken poop is great fertilizer, eggs, they eat insects etc,) and also the cons(I can't think of any off hand, but there might be some). Give a detailed plan of how you will overcome and deal with the cons. Also share how you would really love doing this together, and if it just isn't working out you will re-home them. Sometimes if they know they are not locked into a deal it makes it easier.

Sorry for my rambling, I am fighting a cold and on pretty good cold medicine. So I tend to keep talking. Best of success to you!!!
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I'll keep my fingers crossed.
 

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