I thought you were joking as well..... but after reading through the thread I'm thinking maybe you are serious. If that is the case, I suggest not getting any more chickens until you've spent some time doing research on how to care for poultry. And I'm not even sorry for sounding rude here, but why on earth do you think it's acceptable to yell at children for being upset over the loss of their pets? Like take a step back here and analyze the situation, please. I would even guess that your kids were against "leaving the coop open for the coons". Is that true?
So now that I've got that off my chest, to address the poultry-related issues:
Here on BYC there are 62 articles geared for first-time chicken keepers which you can view here:
https://www.backyardchickens.com/articles/categories/getting-started-raising-chickens.21/
And among those articles is an excellent "Chicken Keeping 101" Article with links to additional resources:
https://www.backyardchickens.com/articles/how-to-raise-chickens.47660/#housing
Chickens taste delicious to any animal that eats meat. That includes cats, dogs, humans, hawks, coyotes, racoons, weasels, and the list goes on. If it eats meat, your chicken is on the menu.
Chickens need proper feed. Chickens need fresh water daily. They need SPACE to move around. They need a secure coop that is locked up at night, every single night. Most importantly, they need an owner who actually cares enough to take care of them. They aren't some joke, or impromptu investment. They are a living creature that depends on us to survive, just like your children do.
Edited to add: I hope that you apologize to your children.