If you admittedly have no social etiquette skills, what better way to learn than to start attending functions like this? You will never learn how to be at ease in social situations if you avoid them. I was socially awkward when I was younger as well, until I realized that I am as good as anyone else. I started taking an interest in other people and asking them questions about themselves. I learned how to be charming. Now I am the belle of the ball. I can have a good time with any group of people.
Isnt that the reason the person throwing the shower is the one that invites. So the person its for does not know who was invited an did not show.... But then I'm a guy, we get a free pass on that kind of stuff. When I get invited to stuff like that I laugh an say "yea, right" an walk off.
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I can't help but to share this story, since we're talking about bad etiquette.
A few months ago I was invited to a "Tastefully Simple" party, which is good, but extremely overpriced seasoning, dips, sauces, etc. I NEVER go to these types of things, but a friend of mine, a bartender, begged me and told me that several of our mutual acquaintances, all of whom I know to be very fun and down to earth were going, so I reluctantly agreed. So I get there, knowing full well that morally obligated me to order *something*, and this is what happened: The hostess, who NONE of us knew (friend of a friends' baby sitter's friend, something like that) was an INCREDIBLE snob. She gave us a long preamble before beginning her demonstration, announcing that she was a first grade teacher, blah blah. Well, she treated us like first graders, and let me tell you, we acted like first graders, only worse. She was irritatingly stuck up, and passed around dips and snacks for us to sample.
Well, we must have been a nightmare of a group, because soon we were all joking and fooling around, although enjoying the sampling. The more she talked down to us, the more out of hand we got, until at some point, she passed around little Dixie cups of hot cocoa. Someone (probably my bartender friend) made a comment that it would taste much better with liquor in it and soon we were all arguing about which liquor would be best. Well the home owner (not the snobby host but one of our friends) ran upstairs and came back with an ARMFUL of liquor, Grey Goose Vodka, Frangelico, Bailey's, etc. The snobby hostess watched in horror as we all started dumping liquor into our hot cocoa and having a grand ol' time. At some point she made some sort of "politely snide" remark about getting "back on track", and I assured her that letting us have our fun would most likely result in more sales for her.
So she tolerated us until the end, when she passed out order sheets, and all of us followed through by placing generous orders. There was another "regular party" planned for immediately afterward at this house we were at, and we invited her to stay. No way. She was outta there. Gathered up all of our checks and order forms and left. We stayed and had a great time, feeling that we had fun, no harm was done, and she did after all, make a killing. I still laugh thinking about it.
Now, to the OP, who admitted not being up on her etiquette skills, I DO NOT recommend this. Even though she was most likely not used to people pulling out the liquor to sample her pricey cocoa, we were all nice, had a fun time and ordered a lot from her. She could have lightened up a little...... but still, I don't recommend this approach to etiquette.
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Would to God people still remembered manners but in this day and age I've seen just about everything. I say because she's a co- worker I would A. go and stay a half hour and bring a nice gift. or B. Just buy her a nice gift and give it to her at work.
If as was suggested you've confessed to having no social skills she may be trying to help you.
She is a co-worker and perhaps she's trying to help you, by giving you an excuse to get out of the house.
You can do a half hour can't you? To keep the peace? Sure you can, just keep telling yourself "what if I were her?" " I'd want her to come wouldn't I?" " She invited me so she must want me there. "
Treat others as YOU want to be treated. What if you were her?
Why do you have to go to everything that you're invited to?
As long as you politely decline.. there should be NO issue. I wouldnt want someone coming to my party if they didnt really want to be there... jeesh...
No of course you don't have to go to everything you are invited to, but it doesn't appear that her dance card is overly full. Why not go? She could make a friend. Why sit home when she could be out learning the skills she admits that she doesn't have? It's got to be more fun than sitting at home.
