hey married people i have a question (sry kinda long)

[sundance]

My DG is my best friend, in fact my only friend. We are both 71and unfortunately the oldest people in our church so we don't have any friends up here.It bothers DH not to have someone his age to talk to (besides Me) but I have come to the conclusion that if no one wants to be my friend it's their loss, I read, Quilt, garden, have dogs and chickens," cat left home to find a new wife." Be friendly, someone will come along, If you have time volunteer at the hospital, church or at work take a good book and read, you may find like minded people in the most unexpected places.You have BYC and someone will show up at work or someplace else, Just hang in there.As long as youlike yourself, someone else will to marrie

 

[ninny]

i dont have a problem with older friends. Its just getting use to it. I was always the mom type figrue to my friends (keeping them out of trouble etc..) There is a few married couples our age at church i think i may see bout inviting for dinner.

I really wish i could have video taped my parents faces when at the ripe old age of 19 told them i was getting married. boy were they not happy.
so i went on a missoins trip to romaina (that they would never have let me doe had i been a minor) then i moved out. what a brat am i!

And the craft idea was a good one i may just have to start a group at church too. our church is mostly young people and familys that have grown up there(like my dh) and most of them are very crafty. plus most homeschool.

I have to say though i couldnt be happier. My hubby is the best in the world!!!

 

[ninny]

Quote:
sry i said that wrong. Im not sunbbing them i like them alot. i just want a few close friends that are closer to my age. most of his friends are in the thirtys not much younger then my parents. I guess i just really miss the close girl bond with someone who still likes pigging out on popcorn and watching stupid movies. not that older people dont. just i dont know maybe i need to grow up some more.

 

[eggcochin_freak5]

wow your only 21, thats not old.....

 

[luvmychicknkids]

I guess i just really miss the close girl bond with someone who still likes pigging out on popcorn and watching stupid movies. not that older people dont. just i dont know maybe i need to grow up some more.

I think you (kinda) hit the nail on the head here. It really isn't so much that you NEED to grow up more....you are only 21....but that you WILL, in time, grow up more, and miss those things less and less. You have only been married two years, too. Right now you are really still in the transition stage from "me and him" to "us". It will all work out.

Glad you got a good hubby...they are a rare and special find.

 

[fowltemptress]

Since I have no children and do everything in my power to avoid that possibility, the friends through children approach will never be something that works for me. I had a large family growing up, so I never felt I needed friends until I was wrenched away from my family by the demands of being a supportive partner, and learning to make outside friends is a painful process for me. Luckily, my SO seems to be gifted in making friends (he has more really good friends than anyone I've ever known). I've noticed that the number one thing he does to make friends is to talk to people. Anyone and everyone, he talks to. The cashiers he hands his money to, the guy jogging past us, the people pushing their kid in a swing, the pierced guy with a split tongue and tattoos running down his legs, the girl who stares daggers at anyone daring to speak to her, the 16 year old who always looks bored in the library, the old man at the park who has trouble remembering what year of his life he's living . . . you get the point. He'll find any excuse to talk to a person and start a conversation. This is terribly embarrassing to me at times, because I'm not used to talking to total strangers, and most of the time it turns out that there is nothing in common between my SO and the person he's talking to, and the conversation fizzles out. But sometimes there's the common ground, just enough to base a meaningful friendship on, a friendship that no one would have known was possible if my SO had never decided to randomly speak to them.
Regardless of your relationship status, whether you have children, or whether you join social groups, friendships don't happen without speaking to people. I think alot of friendships are never discovered because of the reluctance to speak to people, or the idea that someone is too different/weird/whatever to talk to. Just like finding a date, you'll strike out more often than not, but the more people you speak to, the more potential friends you'll have.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Meriruka- I find I have the same problem. I'm 38, never been married and no kids. I moved a couple of years ago and have found that it's really hard to make friends. Everyone my age is married with kids. They only want to hang out with other marrieds w/ kids. The single people are either in their early 20s or in their 60's. I'm stuck in the middle.

Don't get me started on trying to date at this age!

 

[TT]

I understand the wishing you had friends thing. I used to have 2 or 3 close friends where I worked and now we have all moved to different jobs. We keep in touch, but it's not the same.

Most of my time is spent with my hubby of 18 years and my boys - they are my best friends.

 

[Rare Feathers Farm]

I have the same problem. But I moved 8 hours away from my friends/family to a tiny town where I know no one. To top it off, it seems that everyone my age (I'm 27) is either on drugs & never left this town--OR, they are married with kids, full time jobs & no time to socialize.

Oh & I don't smell, either.

 

[greyfields]

You could always try kidnapping people and locking them in a basement somewhere. I'm sure they'd be receptive!!

OK, just kidding. I live on a farm so am somewhat isolated. But, my wife has always been my best friend. I love hte fact we get to spend our entire days together. Even the quiet moments while milking goats or feeding animals are enjoyed.

But as you say, friends we used to have have also gotten married, babies or new pets and we don't see very much of them anymore. And even back then, we'd only go out for big fat dinners and drink too much. So, I'm not sure I'm missing anything really.