hey married people i have a question (sry kinda long)

[Oblio13]

Instead of working to find friends, work at being the kind of person you want to be, and friends will find you.

 

[FloridaChickenChick]

All the suggestions I was going to make have been made: start a bible study, invite people over, don't wait for them to talk to you...but let me just add this.

I moved three years ago. I still do not have a very close friend out here, although I have many acquaintances. I have found that it's a lifelong task to make and keep friends. I still have three very good friends in my previous hometown, but it's an uphill battle to get from acquaintance to very close friend. And I think it should be!

Enjoy your youth, cultivate acquaintances and one day you'll find the gal pal you're looking for. I know what you mean; I miss having a sister of the heart close by. Good luck!

(and Oblio 13's advice is right on, too: be the kind of person you want to be!)

 

[Julie08]

The age difference certainly does play a role. I have lived with my husband since I was 19 and he was 33. We have friends that are my age and friends that are his. (most of the time mine are the most mature) You know the chicken group isn't a bad idea. You are on the right path, good luck.

 

[FutureChickenMan]

Who has time for friends? Being married, having a newborn, two jobs and a mess of animals, who has time for friends.

That is why you marry your best friend.

 

[Julie08]

Great point!!!

 

[meriruka]

I think making friends is a skill that will get rusty with disuse. I've often found that married couples who have no outside friends get a little 'eccentric' over time. Besides, it's always healthy to have someone to talk to who is a little more objective and has fresh ideas and experiences.

I have a penpal, we send each other lots of silly junk and pictures. It's such a lift to get a real letter in your mailbox and not just bills.....

 

[morelcabin]

I have two best friends, my husband and my sister...they both get on my nerves sometimes but they are the ones who stick with me. Everyone else in my life comes and goes as my, or thier lives change...but yes, the best advice I can give you is to make sure your husband is your best friend and the rest won't matter so much.

 

[ZykloniaDark-GothikRanchr]

I have the same problem, only slightly different. I am really...odd, so most people aren't into what I am. It is hard for me to make friends that I don't creep out. My hubby is 8 yrs younger, and he is very outgoing so he has TONS of friends...all of who talk to me,hang out, have fun etc. , but they are all guys and aren't into going to the craft store or thrift store shopping!! Right now the only people I talk to daily are my hubby, kids, and all my animals. I do work on the phone, so I talk to many people I don't want to, but I don't count that. I wouldn't say that it started when I got married, but has been since I graduated from High School. I choose to be the way I am, I could probably change to be more like others, and have TONS of friends, but they are the kind of people I tend to avoid, and those I DO NOT want to become!! in some ways I enjoy my being alone....just would like a shopping partner who doesn't complain!!!

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
It's true - I know of an older couple (in their 70's) who are actively involved almost every day in a charity thrift store in town. They're out and about with people all day long. And they're fun and "with-it".

I know of another couple (also in their 70's) who never go anywhere, don't go to church or work or volunteer anywhere, and don't do social activities at the local Council on Aging, and they are as tightly wrapped and sad as they come.

 

[ksacres]

If you figure it out, let me know

I've been married almost three years and I don't have any of the friends I used to have. Everyone my age is out "still looking" and since I've already found the one for me, I have a different agenda than they do. That's a good thing. To be married and "browsing" is bad jujus.