How in the world did I come from that woman?

[QuinnP]

 

[herfrds]

Yeah I know it sucks. Since Grandma died I cut off contact with my mom due to her "poor me" attitude I have put up with for years. I can go on and on about the crap she has pulled on me and my family, but I won't.

I'm getting over my anger and am now in the accepting stage of this issue. I'm feeling much much better.

So expect that once the loan is paid off and you cut the ties.

Once you get through it you will feel much better.

 

[GaNewChick]

Quote:
Ok I have calmed down. When you read my initial post, the entire story isn't there, nor will it be. It is not unreasonable for her to expect more notice, however that is not what she said. She started whining about not being able to afford a pair of shoes, when she paid off two cars for one brother that defaulted TWICE and paid my other brothers almost $3000 a mortgage when his business tanked. My payment to her is $278.

If I could pay her back, I would not have needed to call her to tell her we don't have the money this month. My husband recently lost his job. This is not a decision I take lightly. I borrowed the money in 2007. SHE took out the loan and THEN told me what she did. I had been unemployed for 10 months and needed to pay off bills. Since 07 I have never been late on a payment.

I am almost 50 years old. I am a responsible adult, and any assumption otherwise is rather insulting.

This behavior is nothing new for her. Now, usually when someone is ranting about being treated badly by their parent or family member, they are in state of need of support, not flippant opinions.

I do know that posting here opens me up to that. However, if I could encourage you to be a bit more gentle in posts that require it, you will find more people friendly toward you.

I personally don't see her response has being harsh ~ people can't possibly know all the details of a family relationship through posts on a public forum. Maybe it should have been made more clearer in the opening post that you were only looking for support and not advice or any other opinion.

Hope things work out between your mom and you...

 

[celticbird]

Are we related sounds like my mother. She does the same thing to me. My mom will deny me money for medicine so she can go party in mexico mind you she is 68 years old.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Ok I have calmed down. When you read my initial post, the entire story isn't there, nor will it be. It is not unreasonable for her to expect more notice, however that is not what she said. She started whining about not being able to afford a pair of shoes, when she paid off two cars for one brother that defaulted TWICE and paid my other brothers almost $3000 a mortgage when his business tanked. My payment to her is $278.

If I could pay her back, I would not have needed to call her to tell her we don't have the money this month. My husband recently lost his job. This is not a decision I take lightly. I borrowed the money in 2007. SHE took out the loan and THEN told me what she did. I had been unemployed for 10 months and needed to pay off bills. Since 07 I have never been late on a payment.

I am almost 50 years old. I am a responsible adult, and any assumption otherwise is rather insulting.

This behavior is nothing new for her. Now, usually when someone is ranting about being treated badly by their parent or family member, they are in state of need of support, not flippant opinions.

I do know that posting here opens me up to that. However, if I could encourage you to be a bit more gentle in posts that require it, you will find more people friendly toward you.

I personally don't see her response has being harsh ~ people can't possibly know all the details of a family relationship through posts on a public forum. Maybe it should have been made more clearer in the opening post that you were only looking for support and not advice or any other opinion.

Hope things work out between your mom and you...

Today, it doesn't read so bad. I was still highly stung yesterday. I really did try to calm down before I answered for real.

 

[debilorrah]

Here we are 4 months and one day later and she came over this morning to bring me a birthday cake. And to apologize. And there was no "but" in her apology either. She said she wasn't handling her birthday well at all, and I was there to take it out on.

I still choose to not allow her behavior to affect me, and today I held my ground, hugged her and ate my cake.

 

[zzGypsy]

retraining one's parents is a near impossible task. enjoy any headway you make.
hope your cake was tasty!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
It was german chocolate!

 

[the Pollo Loco]

Quote:
It was german chocolate!

that's my favorite!!!

 

[EweSheep]

I love German Chocolate cake too! With the pecan, coconut caramelly frosting on top! Wooooooooo weeee!