I am so mad I could spit nails!

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Hellos All,
I just want to let everyone know that I didn't let my boys (5 in total) do what they want or teach them to disrespect their parents. They did have punishments. When they were young they did get spankings, and or grounded. Yes, I do believe in spankings. I taught all 5 of them how to do their own laundry, cook, sew. Yes, I do take responsibility for how he is acting. However, He knows right from wrong, he chooses not to do this. He was told to pack up and leave if he doesn't like it. He was also told that he could live in a tent that he bought in the woods out behind the barn. I did enable my boys to a certain degree, I take full blame for that. Shame on me. I know better now. I am not angry at anyones responses. I don't get angry with people very easily it takes a lot. I am glad for everyones thoughts. It is very helpful.

This strike is really working believe it or not. It may be childish, but it is working. 2nd day I have come home to animals fed and watered. My house was spotless today. Yes the 18 year old cleaned, and did everything. Before I would just give him rides, now he will pay for my gas, which he did yesterday before we left. Today, he will do the same thing pay me gas. Nothing is free anymore. If you guys get tired of my journal that is fine. All you have to do is say nicely (please), and we can move onto something else. I love some of the responses though. I do feel that since I have taken this stand, I feel a whole lot better. I will continue this until they realize that I mean business.....Thanks for listening. At least I am getting done what needs done when I am not home.
PS
Just to let ya'll know the older two children have turned out very nicely. One is a construction worker going to college for a history teacher, and the second oldest in serving our country in the army in Korea soon to be Iraq. Yes, I did raise two that are good kids....lol:D
 
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I for one plan to follow this thread to the end. I fear what my children may end up like and being able to see someone elses experiences helps a lot. Thank you for sharing with us.
 
Actually, Lilshadow, I am very curious to hear how it goes for you. Sounds like it is working well and that you getting some much needed help.

Any chance the 18 yo could go work construction with his brother? That might help the transition to adulthood AND he'd pick up some great life skills! Construction work is fabulous and pays fairly well.

Keep us posted!
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He could, but his brother is getting ready to get married, and I would hate to send him there with my oldest. It isn't fair to his soon to be new wife. However, the neighbor asked him if he wanted work, and the kids actually said "yes" . I couldn't believe it. He is mucking horse stalls for about 25 horses, and cleaning out a barn loft. Which is good honest hard work, and that is what he needs. I am not saying he changed over night, I know better than that. I know that by what I am doing is working some. One step at a time. He will still get tossed if he ever talks to me that way though. We will see how it goes.
 
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Congratulations. As long as he is respecting you and your home, that is what counts. When he doesn't show him the door. If he back slides, remind him that to regain priviages it will not be as easy as it was the first round.

I am thrilled you have taken a stand. I don't think of your actions as a strike, but as you are demanding that he treat you with respect as well as the home you and your husband provide.

Best of luck to you both.

Dilly
 
Im glad to hear that it is working for you. It just takes a little pushing around.
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Stuff like this drives me insane because my mom's best friend is the worst parent ever. She lets her kids do ANYTHING, and it drives me insane. Im not saying you do that, Im sure your kids are angels compared to hers, just saying seeing children disrespect their parents drives me crazy.
 
lilshadow, you've shown that taking a stand even when they're 'part grown' is effective. It's tough to be tough! Parenting is hard work. Good for you, stick to your guns!
 
I'm jumping in on this late but, the thing you said about not fixing their dinner....I would fix dinner but, I'd fix things that I knew they did not like! I would not buy any of their favorites when I went to the store either! I raised my daughter as a single father and she tried some things on me LOL. She once told me it was not her place to help with the yard since it was mans work, well I stopped doing the inside house stuff and told her it was women's work. She started doing yard work!!!!
 
LOL...KingsCall, that was great. Hopefully by me making a stand, I think he knows I mean business. He asked me today if I would take him to town. I asked him if he had money, and he asked me why. I said if I am going to use my gas in my car, you will pay me gas money. I didn't take him, but he and his brother know now that I am sticking this out. He asked his dad, and he just flat out said no. So far today was a good day, and I didn't get yelled at. It will take time, and a lot of tough love, that did come late.
 

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