I am so mad I could spit nails!

[Sonia]

Quote:
FYI: My 10 YO does have a mental issue. He is in treatment. Tell me....if it was your child would you just toss up your hands and hand him over to the government to raise? I think not. I shall bow out of this thread now as I can see it possibly turning nasty. I simply wanted to share a small snippet, by all means not even close to the whole story) to show that it is not always the parent's fault when a child turns nasty. Adieu.

 

[McGoo]

I know the hardship of working long hours, 2 jobs, in order to make ends meet. So I certainly emphasize and understand the stress you must feel.

Could it be that your son resents your attention to your animals/pets. Not trying to psychoanalyze... but maybe?

I hope if you have to get up so early in the morning, that you at least have some daylight hours left to enjoy your family.

Only best wishes for you and your family.

 

[southernsibe]

Lilshadow,

May I ask what your dh's response to this was?

 

[SterlingAcres]

Quote:

Well there's that too...

Or like everyone else said... Throw the 18 yr old out. The 16 yr old can be on 'probation' until he gets his sh*t together. I mean, take ALL of his things. When I was a teen, if I did that to my parents, I got a mattress and a dresser. That was it. Funny how they became doormats, like yourself, for my brothers.

What does your husband have to say to this garbage? Mine would probably choke the boys if they were that old and treated me like that. It's totally uncalled for.

 

[Linda in San Diego]

Quote:
I agree with king dean. When my son was 12 or it was his job to feed the dog before he went to school. Ok you know how that went so I told him the dog came first she don't eat you don't eat. So he went to school one morning hungry and told them I wouldn't let him have breakfast they fed him and called me. I told them why he did not eat and they said ok. He tried the same thing the next day. The lady ask did you feed the dog and he said no and she just looked at him and said I guess you don't eat til lunch. Of coarse this was done with my ok and in front of his friends. He said it was so embarrassing the next day when the bus driver ask did he feed the dog or did they need to pick him up on the way back by!!!!!!!!!!!

Wish you luck with your 2 boys Kids now think we owe them. Mine learned that this is not true. He is now in his second year of college and told me thank you for making me grow up to take care of myself

Loving it! Way to go Mom and School!

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Ooooo... I vote that you permanently go on strike. You work hard enough all day long. At night you need time to unwind and de-stress (with your chickens perhaps?). At 18 and 16 the kiddies are completely old enough to be running the house while you are at work. My mom went on strike when we were 8, 12 and 13. She taught us how to use the washer and dryer AND the dishwasher. After that she and Dad took care of their laundry, but that was it. We washed our own clothes and the linens and towels for the family. We had a week of laundry duty, a week of dishes and a week of bathrooms. The other chores were divied up among us evenly. Once we got old enough to be trustworthy in the kitchen (around age 14, I think) we were expected to cook dinner occasionally. Certainly if we complained about dinner we had to cook it the next night or two. It did cut down on the griping at any rate.

The up side was that my mom and dad were a lot less stressed because they had time to wind down after working all day. We picked up great life skills in the process. The transition to adulthood was not so traumatic because we knew how to do stuff.

We also were expected to get a job by age 16. We actually started working around age 12 babysitting and cutting grass. I lifeguarded, my sister waitressed, my brother laid asphalt. Clearly I got the cushie gig out of the three, but we all put in 40+ in the summer. And that money went into a savings account to pay for college.

I don't know that I'd have them care for your animals after the hateful comments, but hey, if they are doing ALL the housework YOU will have time for animal care in the evenings. How fun is that!

Good luck! If all else fails, send the 18 year off to see the great big world. A dose of reality goes a long way. You are only obligated to raise him for the first 18 years. Anything after that is bonus out of the goodness of your heart!

 

[CountryBumpkinsofLumpkin]

First, we should pray these young adults start taking responsibility very seriously. I see 13 weeks of Marine Corps bootcamp in their future if they don't shape up or ship out.

Luckily, I work from home, and my wife enjoys being a stay-at-home housewife. When the Lord blesses us with children, we pray that we can lead and teach them to the best of our ability.

Our 10 hens are our 'children'. Their run is cleaned every morning at 7am, and put to bed at 830pm. I am 41 years old, and am like a little kid out there every day with them.

I am sorry that your children are acting childish. Take them behind the hen house and give them a good 'ole talkin' to.

 

[seedcorn]

This has turned into 2 different threads.

When a family is faced w/a mentally ill child, it does change the family dynamics. Altho if one child is tearing up the family, it has to be dealt with(no I don't see it as giving up on a child but protecting the family and doing what is best for the child). Friends of mine had to put their child in jail in an effort to derail her life style choices. Talk about tough..

Sonia, don't read into it that your child should go to jail, as I have NO answers for your problem but the government is the least of your problems. I only wish the best for you and your family as you deal with the mental side of this issue.

What started out as 2 spoiled brat kids that needed a life lesson or should I say Lessons......

Red, curious did you ever punch your kids or have your Dad ever punch you? My dad and yours sound like the same man altho mine would never have hit me unless I threatened him........I wasn't that stupid..LOL

 

[Lunachick]

I'm so glad I'm passed this stage. I put my time in. Hope everything evens out Ok. I didn't have sons, I had daughters. You just do the best you can considering the circumstances, and carry on. Sounds simple, after the fact doesn't it?

 

[Aneesa's Muse]

I sure hope this works out for all involved ..and I definitely support the STRIKE!

I guess I am very fortunate in that neither my daughter (21) nor my son (20) ever twisted their mouths or their faces to me in a disrespectful manner. Maybe I learned my own father's technique ...he never hardly ever had to "speak" to one of us ..just the look on his face was enough to make us settle down and get right.

Edited to add: I did see my brother closest to me get dropped "like he was hot" when he was about 14 y.o. ...apparently, he tested my father to the point of no return.. and it never happened again!

Good luck to you!