I am so mad I could spit nails!

[Sonia]

I feel your pain. My kids are to put it lightly disrespectful little brats...at least the two older ones are. The third is fast following in her brother's footsteps and I know the little ones will do the same if I don't nip it in the bud now. I've gotten some ideas from this thread and I thank all for them even though I'm not the OP.


I must step up and say though that it is not always all the parent's fault when their kids don't respect them. The government has taken so much power from us. It is very common to have children's services show up at your door if you punish them for bad behavior. Not just for spanking either...I've had them called on me for giving extra chores as a punishment even for sending them to bed early. One of my kids delights in destroying mattresses and furniture. I decided that I was going to stop replacing them....Yep got Children's services called on me for that too. I saw nothing wrong with making him sit on the floor or sleeping in a sleeping bag for awhile.

If kids get the message that the parents will get into trouble for punishing them....there goes all respect and control. Then it is the parents that get blamed for their children turning into little monsters.



ETA: Since they have gotten so out of control we do not have TV or cable. I do not replace broken toys, they wear used clothing anytime they are not at school ect. I have taken away everything I can without getting into trouble myself. (Just didn't want ya'll to think I wasn't doing Anything about this)

 

[FL Peeps]

Oh, I'm so sorry you have to go thru rotten behavior from your kids...

Once and only once did I ever even come close to behaving like that towards my own mother .... her "solution" -- she told me if I didn't like it here...there is the door and take what you brought with you when you arrived (which of course, was absolutely nothing!)

And... everything was taken away! I mean absolutely everything! I had to "earn" my things back.....for washing dishes for a week I got my bed (after sleeping on the floor with an old blanket)....and each day I had to ask for specific clothes to wear to school... Let me tell you, I sure learned that NOTHING was free!

Hang in there --- be tough --- and don't allow the disrepect in YOUR HOME from ANYONE!

 

[rooster-red]

Sorry, but an 18 year old who would stand in front of me and curse me and threaten to kill anything would instantly require dental surgery.

 

[seedcorn]

Quote:
If all is how you typed it, your kids need to be in a home for the criminally insane. (I decided that might be a little rough, but at the least, needs psychological counciling).

First time my kids turned me into authorities, would be the last time as I'd give them to authorities to raise. You can immancipate them legally. Yes, I spanked in public and I was ready to take the consequences of my actions. NO government will tell me how to raise my kids.

 

[zatsdeb]

sounds like you and your DH need to stand your ground as a united front.. backing each other up.. like the kids now days act like they deserve to have it their way. They need to respect you both, and maybe its time to sit down with a pastor or someone they would listen to and talk things out. Sometimes a different neutral party adds a different perspective to the kids.?
I wish you luck. I had the same problem with my son when he was 16 through 18, he was doing drugs, smoking pot mostly. He had to move out, I helped him get an apartment, and then he was on his own. After a year of living on his own, he changed his tune, now he is 24, still living on his own with a good job as a chef, and tells me all the time he loves me and he was sorry he acted like such a jerk! Like watching one of those commercials where the kid says things the parent made the kid do, and then says, thanks. The first time my kids saw that they both called me and told me thanks.
I had to go through a lot of crap with my son though, but I was a single parent with no husband or boyfriend for support.
It is frustrating when they threaten your animals.
Hope things go better.

 

[Sonia]

I will not give up on my kids. And I don't think a 10 yo could be considered criminally insane for ripping up furniture.

ETA: They have been in counseling for two years.

 

[lovethechickens]

Sounds like you are being treated how you allow yourself to be treated. Kick the 18 year old out, and put your foot down to the other ones. Tell them if they dont do what you tell them from now on, there will be serious consequences. Make consequences, and stick to your guns.

 

[seedcorn]

Quote:
Hope counseling works as you can't "parent" out a mental problem. If you aren't getting the results you want, don't be afraid to switch psychologists. Please with these type of problems, don't be using "school" or "church" councilers as this is more complicated than they are trained to handle.

Tearing up furniture is not "sane" and is criminal when it doesn't belong to them.

 

[WisconsinChick]

Like everyone has said, I thik your 10 Y O needs to move out.

 

[Nichole77]

Another option is to quit your job and stay home. They obviously need the supervision. And with you out of work to stay home and babysit all day and night you won't have money for things like gas to take them anywhere, new clothes, cable, fast food. And you will be right there waking them up every morning making sure they do their chores properly. And your husband could knock the crap out of them and tell them that no one talks to his woman that way.