I am so mad I could spit nails!

[BlackSilkey]

Ohhhhhhhhh! If his dad was my deap trouble. And im half his age and if I want something extra like video games, a new bigger animal cage I half to make half of it and my mom gives me the other half.

 

[seedcorn]

it's not the kids' fault........

Parents allow them to get away w/murder so they learn that's how it is to be.

Be a parent, set standards, make live them up to them, give them consequences if they don't. Then stick to it.

If they act like brats, take away all privileges...including food ability to sleep in a bed, etc......it's time to get tough. You've raised brats, now you have to deal with the consequences of YOUR actions. You taught them this for 16 and 18 years so don't expect great results for a few years.

PS, don't raise you voice to them, just quietly tell them the what is expected and the consequences of their actions. No discussion or wiggle room.

 

[Theda's Mom]

lilshadow, we're with you on this. Hang in there. You work way too hard to come home to such nonsense.

The boys will probably grumble and crab around for the first few days, but stay strong. They'll come around.

(It's not 'quite' the same, but I'm going through a similar "discipline" issue with a rather large, rather opinionated Trakehner/Thoroughbred mare. I can't give an inch, she's way too smart and will promptly turn that inch into a mile.)

 

[asher]

Quote:
Well...I disagree with not giving them food or a place to sleep...at least the minor. I think that would fall under neglect or something similar.

 

[seedcorn]

If my kids think I'm going to take any crap off of them and then feed, etc them.....they had better think again. Mine are 20 and 16. But again, I can't imagine mine even thinking of acting anything like that. But I guarantee if they did, their beds would be in garage put up and if they raised the stakes, I'd raise the consequences.

 

[LittleChickenRacingTeam]

Quote:
The 18 year old needs luggage as a gift on his next birthday or Christmas (whichever comes first)

The 16 year old hopefully will "MAN UP" when he see's his brother's error

At 18, I was running my own business, & working 12-14 hour days.

 

[seedcorn]

Quote:
I would help 18 yr. old pack....16 would have no "hopefully". Why would anyone take that kind of abuse from their kids? I don't get it.

 

[RayP]

I came home from my high school graduation to my bags packed and by the back door, and a "come by some Sunday for dinner". Living on my own was no picknick lived in my car for a few days taught me the value of everything, My daghter decided to run away from home when she was 14, Its not illegal in Florida to run away and the cops would not even look for her, when she came home everything she had was gone and she lived on the couch for a year, my DW even had to go buy her underwear since she had none, she got either the leftovers from meals or if we had somthing nice we fed her a frozen hamburger. do not give an inch !!!!!! tough love works

 

[FrontPorchIndiana]

18 would go bye bye if he said that to me. Pretty sure you can kick 'em out at that age.

 

[fosterchick]

When I went on strike (about 17years ago or more), It was against my own husband. He would have a lot of friends come over. So I didn't even clean the house. It was hard to look at, but the relaxing part was great. Well I won, he crawled back asking for me to go back to work (house work). I wouldn't go back until he cleaned the mess.