I am so sad!!!!!

chickabator

Songster
12 Years
Nov 30, 2007
1,758
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My baby is leaving tomorrow for college . my heart is breaking into and dh doesn't understand. I thought I was going to die last year when oldest dd left for college but I still had my baby with me. now she won't be here and my heart is falling out of my chest. she is 20 she has been at the community college for the past 2 years but she was still at home and I knew she was safe. and that she had plenty to eat and everything. Men just don't understand well at least mine don't. It will just be me and him here now and I am falling apart but don't let her see me crying tomorrow is gonna be so hard saying goodbye to her. Oh man I wish I could just die but I know that I can't.
 
My baby just started 10 th grade. I am sooo sad already. He just got his learners permit and I just hate it. He's my "little boy" and nobody understands. My DD is 21, and expecting her first baby. All I can think of, is my little boy is growing up. I cant even get excited about DD's baby yet. And I still have 2 years before DS goes away.
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i cant imagine college yet!
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my little boy is starting kindergarten in a few weeks, and my daughter will start pre-k. i will be lost for a few hours. everyone says enjoy it....
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many hugs to you.
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Time goes by sooo fast. It seem like yesterday I was bringing her home from the hospital now college it is just too much to deal with. I sure hope my heart can hold up to all of this
 
My oldest is 30 and the youngest 25. The wife had a fit when the baby left home. Trust me, after 6 months my wife was just as happy as I was that we had the house to ourselves, had our lives and could come and go as we pleased, but it did take an adjustment. Time for us to have fun while we are still young enough to enjoy it.
 
Having been through this just a couple of suggestions that might make you feel better. Do you have Skype? a little camera on your laptop where you can call each other and see each other as well? You can buy the cameras separately if you don't and set it up on your computer. That way you can see your daughter when you call her. Make sure she always has some emergency money so she can come home if necessary. Make sure she always has credit on her phone so she is never out of reach of you. In Britain sons/daughters go to university at 18 and most parents seem to send their youngsters off to weighed down with store cupboard food to last until the next break, but I appreciate the distances are smaller. Could you have a supermarket delivery made to her of all the staples to keep her going when the cash runs out? Keep yourself busy and look forward to the next break when you see her again. Maybe your husband is 'putting on a brave face' as we call it. Dads are often very close to daughters but not always in an obvious way. There is no way my husband would have dropped the 'stiff upper lip'. He seemed quite unmoved by the whole process, but admitted to me years later that he dreaded the children going out into the world. Men aren't supposed to see the world as a scary place are they? Best wishes for the leaving day!
 
The hard part will be to understand that you did your job, and that now the job is over. Now you have to begin a new part of being a parent. These wonderful children who are now adults, that will be your life long friends. They will come with a lifetime of shared history between you to sweeten the bond.

We no longer get to make their choices in life. It is a great feeling to know that you have done your job well. I did this 4 and half years ago. I have to say I am happier now, and have less stress. I know that I did a great job of raising 2 wonderful contributing members of society. There is no prouder moment than when your child walks across the platform at a university graduation. The best advice is to get busy, and find something to do that makes you happy. I don't think of my children so much as my babies, but as my friends now. And for tomorrow it is okay to cry if you need to.
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Definitely having sympathy pains for you, been there, done that, and sometimes it still comes back. I have three kids and when the oldest left for college across the world, I was okay with that because I had two more at home. After graduation, my daughter moved out, was heart wretching and I wanted to move out with her too, but what kept me from going over the edge, I still had my baby at home. Well, my baby boy flew the coop this past March at the age of 20. I tried everything imaginable to keep him here for my own sanity, not for his well being. He put it off for several years because he knew how bad it was going to affect me. Poor little guy, came up to comfort and love on me everyday for the first month he was gone, and I would cry everyday he would leave me to go back to his new home.
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Today, I realize how selfish it was of me to hold him back from living out his dream for my own needs, but now I focus my attention on all the animals that I have and kidnap the grandkids as much as I can to fill that void. My daughter likes that because now she has a free baby sitter and knows that the kids get every minute of undivided attention from me. Sure wish we could clip their wings as easily as it is to clip the chickens wings so they dont fly off! This too shall pass.................... and your right, the men just dont understand.
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I will cry like a baby when my 12 year old is old enough to go to college...I cried like a baby when he went to kindergarten for the first time. My husband did not understand, he just told me to get over it! When my 2 year old is old enough to go to college I am sure I will have a total meltdown!
Hope you have an easy transition and it gets better fast!
 
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