I cannot believe what my neighbor did today.....

[okiemommy]

I know some of this stuff has been said already, but I feel like reiterating some of it just for your encouragement. This is obviously an out of control person. Like most have said, it sounds like she has something very wrong going on in her brain. People who exhibit the type of behavior that she is exhibiting can be very dangerous and do something absolutely awful in a second. I didn't see whether or not you had told the deputy about her hitting your child, and whether you did or didn't you can still file a report on her. It is not too late to do that. And, even if for nothing else, so that you can begin to have a legal leg to stand on for the purpose of documenting and building a case against her. I know that you have cared for her in the past, and she cared for you and your children, but it is unwise to keep defending her, as much as I know you really want to. It has come to the point of enabling. By not taking action to protect her from herself and others, it essentially enables her to keep victimizing your family, and other people in general. I know it is hard, in fact it is absolutely gut-wrenching. I have seen a person mentally degrade before my eyes, and I had to make the hard decision to protect my family vs subject them to the things that were happening.

In your original post, it felt like you felt totally out of control about what your kids were subjected to. Undestandably so. It was a horrible thing for your children to be subject to. But I want to encourage you that you have some control over how this affects them. It sounds like you did a great job handling communicating things with them. Keep the lines of communication open that you started out with. You can, in age appropriate terms and descriptions, be fully open with them about the reality of this situation. Weigh the urge to hide information about this situation that could be beneficial to them being able to process this situation. They were verbally, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually assaulted, and being fully open and honest with them in this can be a tool of empowerment for them, rather than then victimization. But also drawing a hard line, and taking action to protect your family from her will show your kids that you will not let them be victimized by her. You were given some great suggestions on here. Call services and be the concerned neighbor, and tell them that you are really worried about her, and that you feel her children are neglecting to see that she is a danger to herself. File a police report on her. Get camera's and/or document it on your cell phone. Write down date and time, and details of incidents. I encourage you to employ all of the good advice you were given on here. Talking to her will not work. That is her proven track record.


Take proactive steps to be an advocate for your family, and draw the hard line. It is a hard thing to do. They don't call it a hard line for nothing.

God Bless you and your family are in so many peoples prayers, including mine.

 

[FlockEweFarm]

Quote:
AMEN! Very well said.

 

[purplebaby]

Quote:
AMEN! Very well said.

agree wholeheartedly!

 

[ams3651]

i think youve done all you can, dont feel bad about doing what you need to do to protect your children. We were harassed by my neighbors kid and I consulted the cops about it. 2 times I called her and told her about it calmly but the last time I told her it would be the last time, after that she would hear from the police. They want it all documented in case he ever does anything dangerous. Kids are resilient, they will remember her as the crezy lady next door but its your job to protect them. I dont know if its an option for you but high fences make good neighbors. Id call animal control on all the strays she has too.

 

[McEgg]

It's a golden rule, NEVER touch other peoples kids!!

In anger(you'll go to jail for child abuse) or just trying to be nice(you'll be in jail for molesting him/her) whether you did it or not.
On the other hand, some adult touches my kid,especially in this instance, I would have been the one going to jail.

Get everyone in the neighborhood to try to video as much as possible and report EVERY incident. Should it every come down to it, you'll have documented proof that this is not a isolated incident.

Some people, no matter how nice you try to be to them, just are hateful people with no regard for anybody but themselves.
Good luck!

 

[sundance]

May I play Devils advocate for a moment< Joan has apparently had several strokes so that Means a medical problem,and apparently her children don't care what happens to her, She may see the children playing and not even realize she has harmed them, and she has harmed them emotionally, she really does need to be hospitalized for an evaluation. Your local welfare dept should have a phone number that you can call , and they will send someone out to check on her, Most welfare depts have an elder abuse center, and Joan is abusing herself and probably doesn't realize it.If the state gets involved, they will take care of her, and make her children realize that their mother needs help. Also Joans children might have to have a lawsuit for them to realize that their mother needs help.Protect your children,but try to help Joan to. marrie

 

[Cetawin]

Sorry I am coming into this so late.... This lady is really sad.

Talk to the children and give them the "mean old people" talk and let them know to stay away from her as much as possible.

Call the stupid daughter of hers AGAIN and let her know rather than worrying about your husband or anyone yelling at her from assaulting children, she should be concerned about her mother's delusional state and mental incapacities. Let her know that she has trespassed, stolen a pet, had surgery performed and thinks that is okay. Tell her everything she has done and advise her that you, along with your neighbors are going to be seeking restraining orders against her mother and try everything possible to get the woman examined in a LOCKED facility to determine if she is a hazard to herself or capable of caring for herself.

Then contact your county mental health center for information on how to get someone Baker Acted for evaluation. You may need to contact the local police or sheriff's office and inquire what the procedure is to have her taken into the facility for evaluation. Let them know she is a danger to the children, has mental issues and could be a hazard to herself.

Who knows if she is capable of caring for herself...until someone goes in the home and checks on her, evaluates her and does something...she will not stop her behavior.

Push the issue and call the police every single time she acts looney...keep a log of it.

Had she put her hands on my child, she would still be in traction. If my child had assaulted her or harmed her then I would kick the child's butt all the way home but aside from that..keep your paws off my kid.

There is no excuse for her behavior, past and current, aside from senility and mental deficits. Her daughter should be more concerned about that. Since she is not, then you and the neighbors need to try to get her locked up for 72 hours of observation. For her own good.

Good luck with this loon.

 

[deb1]

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Most elderly people are NOT mean. I was partially brought up by my grandmother and spent my childhood around many of her friends. They were wonderful people. Please don't ever give your child "The mean old people talk"

I agree that she needs to tell her kids that this woman has serious mental issues brought on by a stroke. She needs to inform her kids to stay away from this woman and if she makes contact to come indoors immediatly. The woman sounds crazy and dangerous.

I agree with everything else you wrote. Sorry for the rant.

There is no excuse for her behavior, past and current, aside from senility and mental deficits. Her daughter should be more concerned about that. Since she is not, then you and the neighbors need to try to get her locked up for 72 hours of observation. For her own good.

Good luck with this loon.

I agree, this woman's behavior is inexcusable.

It would be a kindness to have this woman evaluated. It is possible that medication could help her instability and make her a much happier person.

The daughter's lack of concern for her mother is shocking and very sad.​

 

[Cetawin]

Oh I did not mean to say ALL old people are mean. LOL I love elders...grew up with both sets of grandparents and a great grandparent from each side living with us. LOL

But there are some that just get downright mean towards kids when they get older. Explaining it to the kids that sometimes old people do not have patience for kids or understand them so theey get nasty.

I should have stated that clearer....

 

[michaelvcrowder]

as to the "used to be nice" issue. i have lived in the same home for 15 years. when i moved in the neighbors on one side of me were the nicest people. i would talk with the old man nearly every day. then i started noticing changes. our conversations went from nice how do you do's, hows the fishing and hows the the weather to him always having something or someone to gripe about. then it went to him griping about me and then to his starting to act completely unreasonable about every little thing. some people just nut up at some point and that is the way it is. some people, like me, are just crazy from the get-go. once the crazy switch gets flipped a few cookies are not going to turn it off.

one thing i can tell you is this. if your neighbor has crossed the line from reasonable to crazy then no amount of reasoning is going to un-crazy her. trying to rationalize with unrational people is a wasted effort. i understand your want to fix everything attitude but this is an imperfect world and some things cannot be fixed. don't put too much effort into it if there are no evidences of positive returns.

my natural reaction would be to find more ways to try and push her buttons. while i am trying to overcome these tendencies, there was a time in my life i would have figured out what really bothered her and put an amplifier and neon lights on it just to see the reaction. i have managed to overcome most of this desire in recent years, but sometimes the urge to push a crazy persons buttons still want to surface.

my advice is to watch your kids like a hawk, when she crosses the line have the police do their job. if she sicks a pit bull on your kids then i couldn't give advice for that one. i personally would introduce my aluminum baseball bat to her knee caps right after i had introduced her dog to my shotgun. but that ain't good advice.
michael

p.s. i don't sleep very much either. i don't go days without sleeping but i usually just sleep three or four hours per night. sometimes its just a one or two hour nap in the wee hours and back to whatever i am obsessing over.