I am in a similar, but different situation as the adult stepchild. My father remarried while I was in my early thirties after my mother passed away a few years earlier. My brother and I were both excited to see him move on, date, etc., as we felt he was young at 50 and deserved to have another partner in life. We know he loved our mom dearly, and was devistated when she died, but he didn't die with her and we wanted him to be happy.
He married a lady in our small town, I went to school with her son, my brother went to school with her daughter, we all got along well in high school, and continued into early adulthood. My brother and I as well as my mother's mother and her children were all very pleased when they got together.
She refers to us as her kids, and my children as her grandchildren. Sometimes I hear her say, they are Howard's children if it is someone to whom it makes a difference. But point is, she loves us, we love her, we loved our mother, and my mother knew her. It is not odd, we are not offended. My kids never met my mom, but are aware that Nana married Papaw after my "real" mom died. They know of my mom, we have pictures, we talk openly. Regardless of a situation, if the marriage didn't work, or a partner died, we should all be greatful that a new family is formed in place of an old one. I know it is different than divorce, but, at the same time, it is not. I am honored to be a part of her family (I think she should be honored to be a part of ours ). Maybe "polyanna"thinking, but it's what we've got, life is too short to think otherwise.
He married a lady in our small town, I went to school with her son, my brother went to school with her daughter, we all got along well in high school, and continued into early adulthood. My brother and I as well as my mother's mother and her children were all very pleased when they got together.
She refers to us as her kids, and my children as her grandchildren. Sometimes I hear her say, they are Howard's children if it is someone to whom it makes a difference. But point is, she loves us, we love her, we loved our mother, and my mother knew her. It is not odd, we are not offended. My kids never met my mom, but are aware that Nana married Papaw after my "real" mom died. They know of my mom, we have pictures, we talk openly. Regardless of a situation, if the marriage didn't work, or a partner died, we should all be greatful that a new family is formed in place of an old one. I know it is different than divorce, but, at the same time, it is not. I am honored to be a part of her family (I think she should be honored to be a part of ours ). Maybe "polyanna"thinking, but it's what we've got, life is too short to think otherwise.