- May 8, 2008
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- 15
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I really dont know how else to put it. But I seriously get apprehensive when my MIL takes my daughter over night or if she is babysitting, even if it is only an hour or two. Even if it is in my own home. I just get a bad feeling every time she has her and I am not within sight. And I hate feeling this way.
I dont get this way with my mom or my sister. Just my MIL. And she isnt even the one that told me to have an abortion when we told her I was pregnant. It was SMIL, who is currently in Australia that did that little dandy. Yes. Lucky me I have TWO MILs:|
MIL that lives in MA has this week off. So she offered to take her for a day or two. I nervously agreed to one night. And seriously I only agreed to it because the horse dentist is supposed to show up tomorrow and I dont want her to be bored as I wait. My daughter is 5 and a half.
Now. Nothing has ever happened. Granted MIL, when she was taking dd more often on Saturdays(before gas went up and we traveled and visited more) had been taking dd to temple without telling us. She had been telling us they went to the library. And we would have been none the wiser until my dd told me they were going to temple. *Dh is agnostic. I am Wiccan/neoPagan* We celebrate ALL the holidays in our house. Heck when I was doing full out daycare we celebrated Quanza!! But the fact she was sneaky and didnt ask us if it was alright and then lied to us. Put me on edge.
She is ALWAYS forgetting and misplacing things. We lived with MIL for a few months before we bought our own house. It was HELL.
Now, she called last Sunday to confirm plans. Said she was going to take dd to Walden pond to swim. Which is ok with me since they have a lifeguard on duty there and a state police presence. "just in case" Then when she called yesterday and said she was going to take dd to the beach on the North shore she goes to. Which doesnt have a life guard and with all the storms off the coast is likely to have a strong current. Never mind the waves. My mom took dd to the beach I grew up at last week. Didnt take her swimming as I didnt send her bathing suit and my mom KNOWS how I feel about my only child being safe. So I told MIL i wasnt comfortable with that. She said "ok" I thought they would go back to Walden Pond being the place they went. NOPE.
Today when she came to pick her up she tells my daughter they are going to MILs friends house, who lives on a pond. There is no clear beach area. Which means no clear swimming/wading area. which means no lifeguard. Oh and they are going to use the kayak!! But the friend has a lifevest. For a 5 year old??? One that will fit her correctly?!Her friend has NO KIDS or grandkids!!
And of course MIL said this in front of dd, who got excited.
I dont want to completely alienate my MIL. But for the love of the gods what the hell ???? I dont want the kid near a strong current. But she thinks a pond with branches, slippery rocks, maybe glass in it and no life guard is ok? And that taking the kid out in a very kayak with a ill fitting life vest is alright?? I am continuously surprised my dh survived. But then again. His parent divorced when he was young and his dad raised him until he was a teen.
I am not going to relax or enjoy my "me time" I am going to be worried the entire time she is out there with my daughter. All I can do is wait and pray to the heavens that my daughter is returned to me safe and sound tomorrow afternoon. And that I dont get a phone call from my MIL, the hospital or the police telling me that there was an accident. I would not survive having something happen to my daughter. And I would never ever forgive my MIL should something happen to her. This is going to be a LOOONGG 24 hours
I dont get this way with my mom or my sister. Just my MIL. And she isnt even the one that told me to have an abortion when we told her I was pregnant. It was SMIL, who is currently in Australia that did that little dandy. Yes. Lucky me I have TWO MILs:|
MIL that lives in MA has this week off. So she offered to take her for a day or two. I nervously agreed to one night. And seriously I only agreed to it because the horse dentist is supposed to show up tomorrow and I dont want her to be bored as I wait. My daughter is 5 and a half.
Now. Nothing has ever happened. Granted MIL, when she was taking dd more often on Saturdays(before gas went up and we traveled and visited more) had been taking dd to temple without telling us. She had been telling us they went to the library. And we would have been none the wiser until my dd told me they were going to temple. *Dh is agnostic. I am Wiccan/neoPagan* We celebrate ALL the holidays in our house. Heck when I was doing full out daycare we celebrated Quanza!! But the fact she was sneaky and didnt ask us if it was alright and then lied to us. Put me on edge.
She is ALWAYS forgetting and misplacing things. We lived with MIL for a few months before we bought our own house. It was HELL.
Now, she called last Sunday to confirm plans. Said she was going to take dd to Walden pond to swim. Which is ok with me since they have a lifeguard on duty there and a state police presence. "just in case" Then when she called yesterday and said she was going to take dd to the beach on the North shore she goes to. Which doesnt have a life guard and with all the storms off the coast is likely to have a strong current. Never mind the waves. My mom took dd to the beach I grew up at last week. Didnt take her swimming as I didnt send her bathing suit and my mom KNOWS how I feel about my only child being safe. So I told MIL i wasnt comfortable with that. She said "ok" I thought they would go back to Walden Pond being the place they went. NOPE.
Today when she came to pick her up she tells my daughter they are going to MILs friends house, who lives on a pond. There is no clear beach area. Which means no clear swimming/wading area. which means no lifeguard. Oh and they are going to use the kayak!! But the friend has a lifevest. For a 5 year old??? One that will fit her correctly?!Her friend has NO KIDS or grandkids!!
And of course MIL said this in front of dd, who got excited.
I dont want to completely alienate my MIL. But for the love of the gods what the hell ???? I dont want the kid near a strong current. But she thinks a pond with branches, slippery rocks, maybe glass in it and no life guard is ok? And that taking the kid out in a very kayak with a ill fitting life vest is alright?? I am continuously surprised my dh survived. But then again. His parent divorced when he was young and his dad raised him until he was a teen.
I am not going to relax or enjoy my "me time" I am going to be worried the entire time she is out there with my daughter. All I can do is wait and pray to the heavens that my daughter is returned to me safe and sound tomorrow afternoon. And that I dont get a phone call from my MIL, the hospital or the police telling me that there was an accident. I would not survive having something happen to my daughter. And I would never ever forgive my MIL should something happen to her. This is going to be a LOOONGG 24 hours