I need support and my friend needs prayers.

[debilorrah]

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Thank you Mahonri. ALOT!!!! They are the Little family. Their daughter is having the hardest time with this. She is in denial completely. She is mid-20's, married with a child. Honestly, I worry about them all.

 

[debilorrah]

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Susan would get a kick out that!!!!!

 

[RainbowBirds_of_a_Feather]

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Aloha Debiraymond,

I am so sorry to hear about the news I am praying for the family and you as well. I pray for the strength, courage, and pray for everyone's well being though this tough time.

I embrace you all to add my strength to your cause of support, she is a strong person and so are you!

 

[debilorrah]

So tell me this... How do I support her the best way possible? I know to set my own grif aside, but what next?

 

[redhen]

Just BE there for her ,Debi... Be a quiet, strong rock she can lean on when most needed.
Just call her (or go there) and tell her to PLEASE call you WHEN she needs you to be there for her.
Let HER make that choice when she wants company or not...
Thats what i would do...
I would also try to do what will make her day-to-day life easier...
Do her kids needs watching? maybe offer to take them for a weekend, to give her some time alone to mourn.
Does she need someone to cook supper for her some nights and deliver it...
Does she need someone to drop the kids off somewhere, when she doesnt feel like leaving the house...
Just anything that you can think of that will take ANY stress off of her....
Again..so sorry. That poor family..

 

[RainbowBirds_of_a_Feather]

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Aloha,

I agree with "redhen". Also laughter through pain is another way to pep the spirits, from Steel Magnolias movie (Loved it).

I remember a time, I know I shouldn't share this but when my dad died, I was just down and out I literally was withering away to nothing but skin and bones. I isolated myself and from my family it was just a hard time. I took care of my dad literally to his dying day. I quit my job and concentrated on my school work and my father. I was so glad to have my friends. They would do anything to make me laugh and eat. Until I had to go home and face the emptiness I had in my heart/home. It took my friends a long time to get me back to my spirited self again and I am so grateful. A long story short I say keep on supporting her with phone calls, giving her a shoulder to cry on, to release any anger, you name it. Embrace and hold her tight and say I am here for you for whatever you need. I know that the little things will definitely help a lot. Some times just going to see her and being silence with nonverbal gestures is all they need. Like a hug and a soft whisper saying I am here if you need me. You can even say i will call you/ come over and state a time tomorrow if you need to talk. She will see the supported effort and you will be recognized for your dedicated friendship in the long run. I know you are doing all you can and we all know that you are.

 

[sunflowerenvy]

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you can be there in spirit or there in person but dont stay to long maybe couple of days. sometime they need time by them self
you might what to call her every other day for 6 months. let her tell u things .then u will know what to say.
i will say a prayer for you. and your friend and there children

 

[WriterofWords]

Don't set your own grief aside, grieve WITH them, together. Just be there, offer a hand, a hug, a smile. It's ok to smile and remember him, don't feel the need to look properly sad and such, he is gone, his memory and legacy is not. I feel the last two years and everyone I've lost during that time has been practice for my future. When we've gathered after the funeral, or in the church for the viewing or whatever, we've celebrated the person, not mourned them. The last loved one we buried graduated with Steven last year and fell asleep at the wheel. We talked, laughed, told stories, and remembered what a wonderful young man he was. We cried too, but mostly from the joy of the memories we shared. We put together picture albums, we shared stories in writing and made a great album for his parents. The one just a few months before that was Father Ashley. We gathered together and remembered what a fantastic person he was, how quirky, how a Royal Marine ended up an Anglican Priest! The support comes in the common love and sharing of a person you've just lost. Don't try and do everything, help with what needs helping with, but allow them to deal with everything they can or they will feel later like they missed something and won't know what it was. You have to grieve too though, you can't hold it in, and you can't hide it, just share it.

 

[debilorrah]

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you can be there in spirit or there in person but dont stay to long maybe couple of days. sometime they need time by them self
you might what to call her every other day for 6 months. let her tell u things .then u will know what to say.
i will say a prayer for you. and your friend and there children

She only lives about 6 miles from me, so I am right there whenever she wants.

 

[debilorrah]

I have just received news that he is in a coma. Hospice is there.