I need you to tell me your funniest chicken fails!! I must crown a winner!!

[Bigtom Turkey]

I had a hen that was so scared of a dog and she literally laid an egg in my lap!! No joke!

 

[FactoryReject]

Yes I shall

 

[CHlCKEN]

When our pool didn’t have any grass around it, we put down grass seed of different kinds, and lots of hay to prevent mud in the freshly dug-out dirt. The chickens immediately found it and because the hay and goodies were on the opposite side of the pool from their coop, it took a short trip around to get to it all. Joy, my 3 year old Speckled Sussex decided that going around the pool took to long. So she did the logical thing and decided to go over it instead. She must have eaten a bit to much grass seed, because she was to heavy and those wings couldn’t carry her far. She landed smack in the middle of the pool and got a free swimming lesson out of it.

 

[human1]

Ah....does one where my chickens are idiots and THEIR plan doesn't work count?

E, third in the pecking order, was pecking L (4th in the pecking order) when they were eating
then, L moved somewhere else and Z (2nd in the pecking order) came near E
E then pecked Z, but when she realized that she pecked Z, she freaked out and ran away

 

[CHlCKEN]

Ah....does one where my chickens are idiots and THEIR plan doesn't work count?

That’s the only kind of story I have. Joy never thinks things through. Never.

 

[kelzey]

i haven’t had too many fails yet because i’m still new to chicken keeping (i’m sure i’ll have more in the future) but when i’m outside and the weather is clear, i let my girls hang around with me outside and such- they follow me everywhere and it’s nice because i can keep an eye on them, my property isn’t fenced in or anything so i don’t let them free range without being watched. one day they were out with me just dirt bathing and such, and seemed pretty preoccupied so i figured i could come in for a second- but i was obviously wrong. i went back outside and they were nowhere to be found! i looked everywhere. behind the shed, in their run/coop, in the forest behind my house. but i still couldn’t find them and i started to panic so bad! turned out that they had followed me all the way back to my house and were pecking at the grass in the front yard. they nearly gave me a heart attack, i spent like 10 minutes shaking their treat container and calling out to them.. what a bunch of little stinkers

 

[CHlCKEN]

Before we had a fence, the chickens were free to wander wherever they wanted. We usually let the chickens out when we have guests, so that they can visit and because people love my chickens! One time this summer, my cousins drove to our house to swim in the new pool. Since it was hot, they decided to roll down the windows in their car to keep it cool. At some point Joy snuck into the car (which thank god doesn’t have white seats!!!) and when my cousins left, I was shocked to see them come back down the driveway 10 minutes later! I wasn’t so shocked though when they got out of the car and handed me my chicken and an egg, and drove off again.

Typical Joy

 

[CHlCKEN]

The hose doesn’t reach all the way to the back of my chicken coop where the waterer is, so I have to stand a few feet away and aim the stream of water into the bucket. The other day when I was filling up the water, all the chickens (Except Joy) were in the back drinking from the waterer (because they just had to while I was messing with it) and eating from the feeder and such. I had no idea, but Joy was standing on the hose, so when she got off of it, the water pressure went CRAZY and the hose sprayed everywhere getting me and ALL THE OTHER CHICKENS WET!!! I swear she planned the whole thing!

 

[CHlCKEN]

Before we had a fence, the chickens were free to wander wherever they wanted. We usually let the chickens out when we have guests, so that they can visit and because people love my chickens! One time this summer, my cousins drove to our house to swim in the new pool. Since it was hot, they decided to roll down the windows in their car to keep it cool. At some point Joy snuck into the car (which thank god doesn’t have white seats!!!) and when my cousins left, I was shocked to see them come back down the driveway 10 minutes later! I wasn’t so shocked though when they got out of the car and handed me my chicken and an egg, and drove off again.

Typical Joy

Ok she didn’t ACTUALLY lay an egg in their car, but my cousins did drive off with my chicken. I’m allowed to change the story a little bit

I think she flew in there out of curiosity and wasn’t able to get back out (She’s not that intelligent) My cousins were mad because she pooped all over the seats and made footprints, but I just laughed

 

[CHlCKEN]

How many submissions can I have? I have a LOT of stories