Illnesses, bullying..should I homeschool? Long rant

[Chicken Fruit]

Quote:
Yeah I agree with you on that. He definitely need to be socialized- I think a good socialization barameter is comparing the shyness/mine factor. If you kid is too shy to come out from behind your skirt, he's not getting out enough- opposite of that, if every word is mine (no matter what the age, it translates in other ways, even bossiness) theyre not home enough.

My biggest fear with homeschoolers (or people getting into it) is that they pull their kids out of school for this very reason (bullying) and think that in order to avoid it they need to keep them away from other kids so they never have another case of social friction again.

thats dangerous stuff, that.

 

[Blackbird]

Amosunknown and Backyard Buddies, I think you are both right. You both have very good points, the child does need to be exposed and socially aware, and there WILL be bullying sometimes. I think we can all agree that its a part of life, unfortunatly.

 

[Backyard Buddies]

Quote:
Absolutely! While homeschooling isn't for me, I know people for whom it has worked. These are usually families that have their kids in church, sports, and multiple homeschool groups. Like just about anything, there are good reasons and bad reasons for our decisions. Bullying CAN be a good reason, but it might not be if the child hasn't been given the chance to learn the appropriate skills and if the school hasn't had the opportunity to intervene.

Plus, he's only 5 or 6 years old. He isn't old enough or hasn't had the experience to learn all the skills he needs to stand up for himself. Heck, my daughter is 11 and just dealt with some bullying at school. I was so proud of her. She came to me, talked about it, and we came up with a plan. The first day it didn't go so well and we talked about the next thing to try. You know what? It worked! She's happier and stronger, especially because SHE learned how to deal with it with the guidance of an adult. Sure, I could have just pulled her out of school, but then neither I nor she would have had the faith in her that she could learn the appropriate way to deal with life's difficulties. And yes, her teacher was fully informed of what was going on. The best thing that came of this is that she believes in herself and I know the next time something happens, she'll come to me.

 

[Chirpy]

I love Home School threads. People who have not Home Schooled their children and only know (or heard of) a couple of other families (if any) personally and those families didn't quite do it "right" don't like Home Schooling.

People who know public school kids who are druggies, bullies, drop outs, disrespectful, etc - don't like public schools.

There are Home Schooled kids who weren't properly taught classroom lessons and/or proper etiquette. There are public school kids in the same boat. There are more public school children in that boat.. but maybe that's because there are more public school children out there. ??

We have/are Home Schooling our children all the way through High School.

If a parent is totally involved in their child's schooling (public, private or home) that child is going to almost always succeed. I mentioned in another thread that our local HS Vice Principle told me that they can tell which kids will do well in HS because those parents are involved; either coming to the school regularly or helping daily with home work at home.

I've seen Home School kids that just bombed in life because their parents' idea of Home Schooling was 'let the kid do whatever they want as long as I'm not bothered too much'. I've seen far more public school kids bomb in life because they were raised by their peers... not their parents/families.

As for the OPs question - I highly suggest you Home School your son. He wants you to - that shows him you are listening to him and sincerely care how he feels.

You know him better than any teacher will ever be able to and love him far more. You know his learning style so if a certain curriculum isn't working for him you can find one that does. Teachers in public school cannot or will not use different ways of teaching for a classroom of 20 to 30 students. It's not feasible. So, if you have an auditory learner and the teacher is using visual learning tools - your child will struggle.

Socialization concerns always make me laugh!

Home School kids should have the very best socialization of any child. Why? Because when you are taking your child to different events they will be interacting with people of all ages and learn to talk easily with an adult and play with a baby. But, that does mean the parent has to go the extra mile and make interactions happen. YOU have to get your child involved. In public school children are 'socialized' by 20 other kids their same age - many of them doing and saying things that children don't need to be part of. As a Home School parent you can chose who your child spends time with. If there is a Home School support group in your area look into it and see if you agree with the philosophy and then participate. If there's not - start one. Most Home School groups offer more things to do than any person can or should take time to do. I know our family has to say no to most activities or we'd never be home to do the actual school work. We pick and chose what we want to do (field trips, activities, getting together with others, etc.). Our Home School group has a monthly meeting where the kids get up in front and give speeches or show what they've done, etc. Great public speaking skills learned through that. Plus, because most families have multiple children of various ages; the kids are getting the wonderful bonus of learning to socialize with many other age groups - under the watchful eyes of parents who care how their children are learning to interact. We have weekly activities or field trips planned by one or two families that take our children into businesses, TV stations, chocolate factories and many, many more. We've gone to Lockheed Martin (they make spaceships and rockets) and gotten special tours and hands on learning.

I liked that Chickenmaven said that Home Schoolers aren't "normal" because they are more polite. I had a lady tell me she could look at a room full of kids and point out the Home Schoolers because they were 'odd ducks'. I talked to her further and she said they were the kids not tearing around, climbing on everything, throwing things, screaming, back talking adult and being mean to other children. And, she said it like it was a bad thing?

That cracks me up!

Our three teenage boys are sought after by people who want hired or volunteer help. We regularly hear from people on how impressed they are by our children. Their work ethic, honor and respect have earned them high praise from everyone they spend time with. When we (rarely) get to go out to eat - the majority of the time at least one if not several people will walk over to us and tell us they were so amazed at how polite and respectful our children were. We have eight children!

To finish this up.... (I could go on and on - I'll try not to.

). The involvement of the parent in the child's school - will determine the success of that child's education and socialization.

OP - here's a link that may give you some other help if you chose to go the Home School route:

http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1

I wish you the best with whatever decision you make. Feel free to PM me if you have other questions or whatever.

edited to fix wording

 

[Teach97]

Just for the record...not all states have "standards" for homeschoolers. I am a teacher in OK. Our home schoolers do whatever they want without interference from the state. If they want a high school diploma they take the GED if they want into college they are evaluated on the ACT. They do not have to take the End of Instruction Tests my students take. And there are plenty of great folks that come from both systems and plenty that aren't worth the money they will collect from taxpayers. I will put my public schooled sons' politeness up against anyone!

 

[crait]

Quote:
I was just about to say the same. Private schools in Texas don't have to take Standardized Testing either. My school is right across the street from a private school and I cry when I see them laughing and happy after school whenever I get done doing the TAKS test...

In Texas, if someone were to be home schooled then decide to go into public schools during highschool, the student would loose all their credits. They would have to start over. This Junior that went to my school was very smart, but she wanted to go to a regular highschool so she did and was placed in all 9th grade subjects. Her mother ended up taking her out of highschool and put her back into home school.
Take into consideration what would happen if your son wants to change his mind and do a little research about that for your state.

 

[NancyDz]

I was one of the first poster's on this thread talking about my bf's son who is homeschooled, I'm not against homeschooling but it's not always the best option depending MOSTLY on the parents ability to do it. Not everyone is cut out for teaching a child , and making sure they learn valuable life lesson's by interacting with peers. I especially think it's difficult for an only child. Most of you here that are homeschooling have more than one child.. your child learns how to interact with his siblings too which creates a completely different environment socially for your children than a single child.

Also if you are a parent that constantly gives in to your
child's every whim.. you are not a good candidate as your child doesnt learn structure. Look hard and long at yourself before taking this on. Also even if the state is involved, it's only a matter of sending in tests that are done at home by you and your child.. not very well regulated from what I've seen . Also with the colleges being SO competitive now days how does having a GED look or a homeschool environment? I have no idea so hopefully some of you that have homeschooled and have college attending kids maybe you can chime in. Nowadays colleges want to know what clubs, community events, grades, etc you participated in... I'm sure there are homeschooled kids that can put that together but again how does it match up? I'm not talking about community college but universities you have to apply for with an essay, etc..

My sister in law homeschooled her two children for a few years , she participated in all kinds of homeschool groups but found them very clicky and not a good cross section of types of kids. All were granola /hippy types ( not that there's anything wrong with that but she wanted her kids to have a more real world view) even though she is that type heheheee
They switched to public school , stayed friends with some of the homeschoolers and they are both doing well. But my SIL is an outgoing person herself and they would have thrived in either environment because of her dedication and realistic view of the world. If only my bf's ex was that type of person... his son would
definitely be in a better situation home schooled or not.


Nancy

 

[Chicken Fruit]

Quote:
I was just about to say the same. Private schools in Texas don't have to take Standardized Testing either. My school is right across the street from a private school and I cry when I see them laughing and happy after school whenever I get done doing the TAKS test...

In Texas, if someone were to be home schooled then decide to go into public schools during highschool, the student would loose all their credits. They would have to start over. This Junior that went to my school was very smart, but she wanted to go to a regular highschool so she did and was placed in all 9th grade subjects. Her mother ended up taking her out of highschool and put her back into home school.
Take into consideration what would happen if your son wants to change his mind and do a little research about that for your state.

Yeah A lot of states dont have the requirements, but they do have the access to the testing in one form or another.

I think its poor judgment not to have your child tested a long with all other students- the goal is to out preform the masses, not do something similar, otherwise, whats the point.

I think most states actually dont give deplomas to home schooled students, I know none of mine did, but all my homeschooled peers went on to college, half of them went to cornell. They reported that contrary to what the popular belief is- colleges see no 'chance taking' on home school kids. Children who home school have a better achievement record and rate, and tend to follow through due to a better life focus than the ever drifting public school children just following the crowd from school to college. My aunt actually worked for ohio wesleyan and was surprised to find that home schoolers applications were more readily accepted.

it certainly doesnt harm you ability to get into college, thats for certain. Not like it used to in years prior back in the 80'sand before.

I agree sorta with the above poster. If you dont have a solid family core, and a parenting technique that naturally encourages and nurtures learning and exploration, home schooling probably isnt a good idea.

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

As far as antibiotics go.

I let my daughter go without antibiotics for a nasty cold/bug/something earlier in the school year. She was spiking a fever, throwing up, sleeping all day, coughing etc.

When I finally took her to the pedi because she was not getting better she had a SEVERE double ear infection. After a round of Zithromax she was better. But her ear drum is scarred. She now has 40% hearing loss in that ear. If I had taken her sooner and had her put on the antibiotics sooner her hearing could have been saved.

And probiotics are not for everyone either. They can have bad side effects on some individuals.

 

[Sammysmom]

Wow! Guess I unwillingly opened a can of worms! I appreciate each and every post and the views expressed. Thank you all.

I spoke with my son's teacher this afternoon. She was unaware of what had happened with regards to the scratching and spitting. She got down to my son's level and told him to come to her if something like that ever happens again. He seemed to be reassured. Also, as it turns out, the little boy responsible is moving away and so will not be a problem again. This is a great relief. I know I will at least be able to leave him in school for the rest of the year. I will be researching homeschooling in my state this summer. I want to be informed in case I/we decide that homeschooling would be in my son's best interest in the future. I certainly will not be someone to throw a couple of worksheets in front of him and then go watch a soap opera! I waited a long time for my child and the best thing in life is spending time with him and watching him learn. As for the socialization aspect, I would much rather have him exposed only to responsible adults if the only alternative were other children that are disrespectful and obnoxious. I also believe there will be plenty of opportunities for him to be exposed to his peers if we choose homeschooling.

As for his illnesses, I do wait for his body to fight whatever bug he has at the time. I did, at one time, work in the medical field and I do realize that his immune system needs to mature. However, when my child is so congested and having coughing fits so bad he has a hard time breathing and is vomiting from constant drainage, yes, I will take him to the doctor. That is my job as his parent. Oh, and by the way, he is on a multivitamin as well as extra vit. C.

Sorry if I sound defensive or have offended anyone. That was not my intent. And, once again, thank you all for your opinions. This was very informative. Oh, and thank you, Chirpy, for the link.