I'm being mean, ain't I? (Sorry, long)

[gryeyes]

It's tough loving a man with a former family. I am so glad you two had the talk. Kudos!

 

[debilorrah]

You certainly have your work cut out for you with those kids. We have one that puts us through the ringer and we have recently started telling him it is OUR schedule not YOURS. He is quite often irritated with us, but we say too bad. You want something from us, do it on our schedule.

 

[herfrds]

Glad to hear that.

It is tough on someone who has been put down for years to stand up for themselves. I know because my DH was by my FIL for years.
FIL would call and DH would jump.
Then he married me.
He got a good steel backbone. He stands up for himself now.

grit all you can do is stand beside him and support him in this. There will be a revolt by them, but tell him to stand strong.

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
Thanks. Yes, DH is the second child in a family with a very strict disciplinarian (his late father) and the eldest child (DH's brother) was handicapped. Being the "normal" child in a family where there is already a handicapped child puts a burden on the "normal" one. Hard to explain, but I've seen it in more than one family.

 

[Ashmeade]

My 2cents for what it is worth...

I am in full agreement that these kids sound horrible and need a "come to Jesus" meeting on how to behave and not behave. I also agree with "Your house, your rules" etc. But, that being said, this is also your husband's house and more importantly, HIS kids so to be fair you really need to include him in on the decision if his kids can come and the terms of that, etc.

I know if my signifcant other tried to come in between me and my kids, there would not be a decision. Also, if you and your husband can be on the same page and unified in the terms of the kids coming or not coming, you have a better chance against them.

Either way, good luck! It is most DEFINITELY sounding like those kids need an immediate crash course in manners and common courtesy!!!!

 

[Tartannik]

No you are not being mean at all, I have a sister that is a wee bitty like your step children, I am on edge the whole time she is here, she leaves and I clean up the mess!!

 

[Slinkytoys]

Gritty---explain to your Hubby that YOU are his family. As for the way the SD's treat you, why is it allowed??? Since when do we allow Faaaammily to treat us worse than strangers? I've just never understood how people who are related to us and suppose to love (and be loved by us) are permitted to treat us like dirt. It just does NOT compute.
You and Hubby are family. When you married he promised/covenanted certain things. Having his daughters treat you like this was NOT in those vows. You allow this behavior from his daughters and their offspring. Either woman up and lay down the law with hubby or continue to be a doormat.
Good Luck and I hope we'll hear some good updates from you!
Slinky

 

[gritsar]

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