Im kinda mad about this....

[PineappleMama]

It's hard to teach abstinence in our society as it is today. There's too much sex on TV, in magazines, EVERYWHERE. So mostly they teach birth control, but even that fails... as evidence by our son being here... I can't blame anyone for letting their hormones do the talking when they are young and immature, been there done that and I hate to be a hypocrite.

I think it's what matters is where you go from there. You have to make a very adult decision to keep the child, give up the child, or abort the child. A decision I wouldn't try to make for anyone. It's easy to talk about what you would do, actually being in the position is another matter. Anyway, point is you have a very adult decision that needs to be made by a very NOT adult person. That same person that is still young and immature and now has even more hormones going bananas. Throw in society, family, peers on both sides of the keep/adopt/abort fence and it's really no wonder that they fumble in their decision. I think in many cases that the youngun's put off the decision because they're afraid to tell, ask for help, etc. and get the censorship that comes with it. So they wait, and eventually it's too late to abort, one choice down two to go. Well, then you start to feel the child, hormones nuts, and those around you giving their opinions. Instinct tells you to keep your child, the 'smart' folks tell you to give it up. Then maybe a parent or grandparent throws out the 'you got yourself into this mess, so grow up and be a parent" speech.

Really, it's a lot of opinions, mixed with a lot of facts, mixed with a lot of hormones... never a good time for decisions. So, it's not really any wonder to me that so many end up over their heads when they try and please everyone, including themselves.

Leastways I can understand that the FIRST time... you continue to have babies after that... different ball of wax.

I always tell my kids 'If you are truly sorry then you won't do it again' aka actions speak louder than words.

 

[SarahFair]

I agree Pineapple! I lived with my father when I got preggo and I sure as heck wasnt going to tell him. Guess I thought I could hide it the whole 9 months

I waited till I was a little past 4 months to tell my mom and by that time I had been to the hospital to find out for sure and when they did an ultrasound they told me it was a boy. My mother was the one who told my father and he said him and my stepmother started crying..
We were suppose to be leaving for a beach vacation but I had disappeared a couple days before. I ended up going down with my aunt to a neighboring beach where my dad picked me up. That whole ride he did not say one thing about me being pregnant. When we got home he said 'I guess it is too late for an abortion, I want you to seriously consider adoption.'
A few days after that he told me 'There is an agency out in California where you pick a family, go live with them till you deliver, then come back home.' He then handed me a HUGE packet of adoptive parents.
I looked through them dozens of times. Looking at all the faces of these parents who wanted children so bad made me sad and want to give them my baby. ...but I couldnt.


My SOs parents and father met and they wanted us to keep it. I guess they knew my SO was pretty "hooked" on me and would never do me wrong (raised that way). His parents had their oldest son when they were 17 and have been together since (33 years later) so they had an idea of what we were going through. They told my father and I that if for whatever reason we should not want the baby anymore they would take it and raise it.

That honestly made me feel a little better. I moved in with them after the DUMBEST fight with my father (Not baby related) and we lived with them for a little over a year when I pushed my SO into buying this house. I am sure glad I did and everything so far has been in our favor

My dad likes to remind me we are defying all odds but honestly I knew deep down we could do it

 

[MomtoSyd&Emma]

sighhhh

I am 35 but my DH and I have been together since I was 15 and he was 17, we dated through my jr high and high school days, we were engaged by the time I was 17 and we knew we wanted to marry as soon as we could, my Parents wouldnt allow us to before I graduated, and looking back I understand that BUT it wouldnt have changed anything, as we did wait until after we graduated

by oh about 13 hours lol we Graduated on friday june 11th and married the next day at Noon on June 12! lol Our honeymoon was our senior trip!

Everyone in school SWORE I had to be pregnant to be getting married that soon, never mind the fact that I had been planning our wedding for a year, and had bought my dress ahead of time lol Oh and teachers, the Principal, secretary all told me that it wouldnt last, well we wil be married 17 years this year, together for 21 years lol

We knew we wanted children, but we were renting my parents downstairs from them and I did NOT want to raise a baby with Grandparents watching every step!

We bought our home on April 5th, I got my last birth control shot in May of that year, and was pregnant by the following May lol

We waited a total of 7 years and 8 months before we had a baby, and I dont regret waiting!!!

 

[magickmom]

Quote:
Children are too precious to be taken lightly, and nobody should feel compelled to have children if they don't want them. There is nothing wrong with preferring to have a horse instead of kids. Kids are expensive little monsters, a ton of work, and will complain that you are "the meanest mom in the whole world" if you do your job right. Sometimes I would like to trade my kids for a horse...or just a vacation.

I went through infertility treatments for 3 years without success and wanted children so badly. I then got a divorce, lost 90 pounds and started ovulating, something that serious fertility drugs had not been able to get me to do. I was afraid that I may never have a child, so I used donor sperm and got pregnant on my first attempt. I was an RN with a great job, but never planned on being a single mom, but wanted children too much to not take advantage of my chance when I did ovulate. I am now happily married to the greatest man in the world. He adopted my son and we have two daughters together now.
Blessings to you and yours.
)0(

 

[schellie69]

This is related and Kind of funny. after my 1st grand baby was born in Oct/o8 my daughter who was 22 at the time and I were at wal-mart getting some baby stuff, and I was a proud grandma. well these 2 older ladies came up to us to see the baby and my daughter told them the baby was her's and how old she was and such they asked me if I was happy with the baby and I laughed and said of course I was happy then they got mad and asked how could you allow your 14 year old daughter to have a baby I said my DD is 22 years old a adult and can make that choice her self they thought my DD was only 14 she had to show them her ID that showed how old she was I know my daughter looks young but never thought she would be mistaken for a teenage lets just say both women said some really mean and hateful things until they realized their mistake then they mumbled an apologize and left but it made me mad at first then we both just laughed but it did make me grateful that my DD did wait till she was older to have kids.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

sigh....I will be volunteering on Mondays at a local resource Center for Women starting June 7th. I know I will see lots of teens in there. Some pursuing abortion, some pursuing adoption, and some planning to keep the babies...I know that I will witness a LOT of emotionally broken individuals. Maybe I can make a difference for some of them, I hope. The Center does not perform or support abortion. Folks need to just do what you can to educate kids. The Center is starting a program for the youth, going to the schools and doing things with the young mother's and try to dissuade some would be young mom's from making that mistake. Pray for me and the Center that we can make a difference!!! I hate seeing kids having kids. It's SO hard on everyone involved!

 

[TipsyDog]

Quote:
Agreed, that AND no more handouts. I think the welfare, WIC, food stamp, etc., system in the country has created a handout to pregnant girls. They should receive ZERO support and that includes from the girls parents. I think this behavior should be shunned and the baby daddy made to take responsiblity. I wonder how many would be pregnant when they HAVE to attend to their own child and figure out how to feed them and themselves! Follow the money....

 

[Dust Bunny]

Quote:

but really, even IF she was 14yo who were THEY to judge? coming off half cocked without knowing the first thing about a person or their circumstances just invites embarrassment, my best friend has four, older interracial children, and she is very young to have them, and sometimes people give her disgusted looks, but what they dont know is that "her kids" are really her siblings, their mother died and she dropped everything and made huge sacrifices to take them in and mother them, certainly not a person who deserves dirty looks!

 

[Chickenmaven]

Oh, puleez! Teens do not get pregnant for the "handouts." Attention? Yes! Some immature ideas that they will parent better than their parents? Maybe! Ridiculous notions that they'll live like the Cleavers? Maybe!

I think that IF the teen pregnancy rate is going up, it might be linked to our cruddy economy. Having a baby is something that *most anyone* can do. You might not be able to get into college or get a good job, but you can pop out a kid. Generally, girls that have good prospects (career, travel, education) don't make such "oops!" decisions. I don't know if they have their act together, so they are going places or vice-versa.

I do not like the teen pregnancy shows, BTW. I think that teens engage in "magical thinking." They are silly enough to think that they'd handle a given situation better than other people do...

I remember being 23 or 24 and childless. When I would see a mom losing her patience in a store, I would wonder what is wrong with her. I knew - for a fact - that I would be a really super, patient SAINT of a mom. Yeah, how'd that work out?

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

when one is young, even if they can envision a realistic reality, usually it's rose tinted. i (19 and pregnant with my son after dating my BF for 4 months.. oops!) imagined my baby and I living in a cute, tiny apartment, and having a tiny little stove, and lots of windows and plants, and he was a quiet baby in my imagination, and things were nice... realistically, it was a crowded (with BF) tiny apartment, with tiny windows an icky bathroom, not enough money and a really noisy baby... it's hard, and most teen moms, I don't think are very happy.