I'm mad and sad at the same time. Should I be?

[easttxchick]

There are times when it is easier to vent among strangers. They have no horse in the race(in most cases) and can be objective(in most cases).
Don't blame you a bit, Kat.

 

[pbjmaker]

Quote:
X 2

Well put easttxchick.

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
Exactly. There's something else I have to consider. If I were to go directly to my sister and she turned around and took it to my dad (which I'm 110% sure she would), she'd have to explain how it all started. It would hurt my dad's feelings to know the truth about how my sister feels about him and I wouldn't hurt my dad for all the money in the world.

 

[gryeyes]

You did good, gritty. Real good.

I wouldn't wish anybody lose their parents, but I am glad mine died many years ago. I feel for my friends who have aging parents to concern them. My mom, now, it would have been nice to have her in my teens when I believe young ladies really need their mothers. I won't discuss my dad in this vein, for awful reasons, and my sister (who was his step-daughter) also hated him. So there wouldn't have been any wrangling with her about either parent. Well, my sister would certainly have been concerned that I wouldn't be able to help support Mom financially..... but my sister is gone, now, too.

So when my friends struggle with parent (and sibling) issues, I feel for them. But am awfully glad I don't have to navigate those stormy waters.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Just saw this Grits..
Yep.. you DID say/do the right thing..
If i EVER heard my little brothers saying things like that about my father, i would react the same way... only maybe not so nice..

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Exactly. There's something else I have to consider. If I were to go directly to my sister and she turned around and took it to my dad (which I'm 110% sure she would), she'd have to explain how it all started. It would hurt my dad's feelings to know the truth about how my sister feels about him and I wouldn't hurt my dad for all the money in the world.

 

[Mattemma]

I think it is OK,but at the same time I would be the one to get up in sister face and tell it like it is. It is probably useless though to say anything,and you are loving to care about his feelings. Maybe he is ok with giving the cash.

My mom does it for my brother, and I will never understand why she does when she needs it herself. It breaks my heart to see her being used.

I guess the snide comments are in a way far better than the direct ones in this case. Make her squirm,back peddle,and explain herself daily,lol. One day karma will get her. Time to go write my brother a letter!

 

[twentynine]

Quit looking at face book.

It will not change the situation, but you won't have to read about it every day.

To get right down to it, you are not going to change your sister's behavior, no matter what you tell her. The situation existed before facebook, you just didn't have to read about it everyday. The situation is going to continue, so in the long run you are left with trying to be happy. If reading all that stuff on face book makes you mad and sad-- simple quit looking at face book. Why torture yourself?

 

[rancher hicks]

As the father of four? My kids are always thinking the other is getting the upper hand and "you love them more and you do more for them" attitude.

So let me explain it to you from my perspective.

One, it's my money and if I want to "loan" or give it away that's my business. Every kid feels "dad likes you best".

Two , I don't keep score as to who got what. Again it's my business. My kids didn't earn it, I did.

Three, funny how they don't want a two way street for me to tell them how they should spend their money. Always eating out and buying smokes and booze or toys. Why do the same kids who rebelled at their parents for telling them what to do, think they should tell their parents what to do?

Four, When I need something guess who is here? Not the one in TX or AL, but the ones they complain about. Last year my SIL , who by the way is not my favorite person , cleaned the snow off the roof and the gutters and mowed the grass and I'm sure a few other things I've forgotten. The DD who is a slob at house cleaning , closed up the chickens and collected eggs and watered them when I went away to visit the ones in AL and TX.

Five, I'm old and handicapped and I need someone here and unfortunately it's the ones I would choose who are not here and if they were wouldn't do squat for me. They're off living their dream and that's fine. So I take what I can get. I love all my kids the same but they aren't all the same. They aren't entitled to an inheritance.

Six, we all vent about things. Otherwise we'd have ulsers or be on meds. Such is life.

So while it may appear they are taking advantage of me and DW, looks can be deceiving.

Sorry if that seems harsh but someday you'll understand.

When Mom passed and left everything to my sister. Not one of us complained, cuz she earned it, by taking care of her when she was sick. She's the one Mom chose and that was fine. Some of us are not so lucky to have a choice.

Getting old sucks!

Rancher

 

[sheaviance1]

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Rancher, quite a perspective you have there. Thank you. I do believe that you touched a chord in my life with your response to Gritty.