I'm never gonna get an egg!!!

[deepbluesea]

My EE is the biggest egg-hider of them all! At one point, I thought she'd stopped completely and my son found a dozen eggs behind the shed in the tall grass.

 

[andreanar]

My only squatting girl..no egg yet, but she's so friendly now!

 

[apryl29]

My only squatting girl..no egg yet, but she's so friendly now!
View attachment 1153978

LOL I just replied to your post on another thread. LOL That request for an egg pic was supposed to be here. It's been a long week.

 

[Rick&chickTampa]

I was glad to read this thread because I thought I was the only one with broken chickens

 

[pitbullmomma]

Update #4,582:

Still. No. Egg. (sigh)

Not only that,my chickens are...not very smart, I think. Today I had the great idea (after having a friend pass away, being veryvery sick the past week , returning to work, having 2 horrendous work days, a wound that looks like a zombie bite and being on antibiotics; that is my caveat, lol) of this:

I am going to finally set some of my chooks free to graze, attended, on my front lawn. Whilst enjoying a glass of wine, antibiotics be damned. To celebrate the end of the bad week. They have never free ranged. I am a paranoid chicken owner. Nary a chipmunk let alone a feral cat or raccoon will bust into my Fort Knox of coops.

So I am sitting on my front lawn in a chair with a glass of Gallo (with ice. classy). My legs are hairy and exposed. No bra. Red chicken Sloggers on, a real fashion statement. I bring my chickens out for a rare glorious afternoon of freedom. I look like a total Piney--I have resisted the notion my whole life, although I've lived in the Pine Barrens half of it. I make fun of Pineys. My neighbors are all Pineys. My neighbors all have chickens and hairy legs too. I guess I am a Piney. Whatever.

I bring out my Brahma bantam girls and my Favacauna. They head right for the shade garden, could care less about the lush green 1/2 acre of weeds and a schmear of dead grass that is my front yard. They go under rhododendrons, hide, try to eat the tasty (poisonous?) leaves, the shiny red (toxic?) holly berries, the mulch. I throw scratch, I offer mealworms, I make chicken noises. I chase them onto the grass with my hairy legs and glass of wine. I'm pretty sure my neighbors across the street think I have lost my mind, as I am running around talking to (apparently) myself while drinking, hairy and resplendent.

After about half an hour of this I gave up, brought them back in the coop, grabbed 2 of my Silkies (hey! at least they can't fly off, no barbicels!) and brought them out to graze. In terror they ran to the woodpile at the side yard, heading to the safety of their coop. Olive (my brown one) almost broke her stupid neck trying to squeeze in through the chain link fence. Big Bird stood on top of the woodpile and squawked, pathetically. I finally gave up and here I sit, drinking my wine, telling my tale of woe.

Why can't I have normal pets? I have 3 dogs, none of whom like to go outside. Hello, you're a freaking dog! Enjoy the great outdoors. Yeah, no thanks. The second I let them out they are barking to come in. My chickens? They refuse to lay eggs, and when I try to introduce them to the joys of nature and free ranging, they just want to go back to the safety of their prison.

Does anyone else have stupid chickens that don't even want a taste of freedom? Methinks I have spoiled them far, far too much, and they're just used to the good life now. Either that or they have Stockholm syndrome.

Later~

Cindi

 

[WVduckchick]

Update #4,582:

Still. No. Egg. (sigh)

Not only that,my chickens are...not very smart, I think. Today I had the great idea (after having a friend pass away, being veryvery sick the past week , returning to work, having 2 horrendous work days, a wound that looks like a zombie bite and being on antibiotics; that is my caveat, lol) of this:

I am going to finally set some of my chooks free to graze, attended, on my front lawn. Whilst enjoying a glass of wine, antibiotics be damned. To celebrate the end of the bad week. They have never free ranged. I am a paranoid chicken owner. Nary a chipmunk let alone a feral cat or raccoon will bust into my Fort Knox of coops.

So I am sitting on my front lawn in a chair with a glass of Gallo (with ice. classy). My legs are hairy and exposed. No bra. I bring my chickens out for a rare glorious afternoon of freedom. I look like a total Piney--I have resisted the notion my whole life, although I've lived in the Pine Barrens half of it. I make fun of Pineys. My neighbors are all Pineys. My neighbors all have chickens and hairy legs too. I guess I am a Piney. Whatever.

I bring out my Brahma bantam girls and my Favacauna. They head right for the shade garden, could care less about the lush green 1/2 acre of weeds and a schmear of dead grass that is my front yard. They go under rhododendrons, hide, try to eat the tasty (poisonous?) leaves, the shiny red (toxic?) holly berries, the mulch. I throw scratch, I offer mealworms, I make chicken noises. I chase them onto the grass with my hairy legs and glass of wine. I'm pretty sure my neighbors across the street think I have lost my mind, as I am running around talking to (apparently) myself while drinking, hairy and resplendent.

After about half an hour of this I gave up, brought them back in the coop, grabbed 2 of my Silkies (hey! at least they can't fly off, no barbicels!) and brought them out to graze. In terror they ran to the woodpile at the side yard, heading to the safety of their coop. Olive (my brown one) almost broke her stupid neck trying to squeeze in through the chain link fence. Big Bird stood on top of the woodpile and squawked, pathetically. I finally gave up and here I sit, drinking my wine, telling my tale of woe.

Why can't I have normal pets? I have 3 dogs, none of whom like to go outside. Hello, you're a freaking dog! Enjoy the great outdoors. Yeah, no thanks. The second I let them out they are barking to come in. My chickens? They refuse to lay eggs, and when I try to introduce them to the joys of nature and free ranging, they just want to go back to the safety of their prison.

Does anyone else have stupid chickens that don't even want a taste of freedom? Methinks I have spoiled them far, far too much, and they're just used to the good life now. Either that or they have Stockholm syndrome.

Later~

Cindi

Oh to be a fly on the wall.

They just aren't sure what was going on. A little time here and there, they will get used to it.

And honestly, my groups lay better on days after they have been out. I have too many pens to let them all out at the same time, so i rotate. The ones that don't lay well, always give me eggs for a couple days after their out days.

 

[pitbullmomma]

Oh to be a fly on the wall.

They just aren't sure what was going on. A little time here and there, they will get used to it.

And honestly, my groups lay better on days after they have been out. I have too many pens to let them all out at the same time, so i rotate. The ones that don't lay well, always give me eggs for a couple days after their out days.

Eggxselent... ! I'm telling my (previously bird-phobic) husband that not only has he had to build Fort Knox with 2 coops and two runs, but now he also has to build me a chicken pen, as well. Heeheee! If he knew just how much money I spent on my chickens, lol. (I hide my receipts. Going to the feed store is my guilty pleasure. Because, I am, lets face it--a PINEY!)

 

[Crooked Chicken]

Update #4,582:

Still. No. Egg. (sigh)

Not only that,my chickens are...not very smart, I think. Today I had the great idea (after having a friend pass away, being veryvery sick the past week , returning to work, having 2 horrendous work days, a wound that looks like a zombie bite and being on antibiotics; that is my caveat, lol) of this:

I am going to finally set some of my chooks free to graze, attended, on my front lawn. Whilst enjoying a glass of wine, antibiotics be damned. To celebrate the end of the bad week. They have never free ranged. I am a paranoid chicken owner. Nary a chipmunk let alone a feral cat or raccoon will bust into my Fort Knox of coops.

So I am sitting on my front lawn in a chair with a glass of Gallo (with ice. classy). My legs are hairy and exposed. No bra. Red chicken Sloggers on, a real fashion statement. I bring my chickens out for a rare glorious afternoon of freedom. I look like a total Piney--I have resisted the notion my whole life, although I've lived in the Pine Barrens half of it. I make fun of Pineys. My neighbors are all Pineys. My neighbors all have chickens and hairy legs too. I guess I am a Piney. Whatever.

I bring out my Brahma bantam girls and my Favacauna. They head right for the shade garden, could care less about the lush green 1/2 acre of weeds and a schmear of dead grass that is my front yard. They go under rhododendrons, hide, try to eat the tasty (poisonous?) leaves, the shiny red (toxic?) holly berries, the mulch. I throw scratch, I offer mealworms, I make chicken noises. I chase them onto the grass with my hairy legs and glass of wine. I'm pretty sure my neighbors across the street think I have lost my mind, as I am running around talking to (apparently) myself while drinking, hairy and resplendent.

After about half an hour of this I gave up, brought them back in the coop, grabbed 2 of my Silkies (hey! at least they can't fly off, no barbicels!) and brought them out to graze. In terror they ran to the woodpile at the side yard, heading to the safety of their coop. Olive (my brown one) almost broke her stupid neck trying to squeeze in through the chain link fence. Big Bird stood on top of the woodpile and squawked, pathetically. I finally gave up and here I sit, drinking my wine, telling my tale of woe.

Why can't I have normal pets? I have 3 dogs, none of whom like to go outside. Hello, you're a freaking dog! Enjoy the great outdoors. Yeah, no thanks. The second I let them out they are barking to come in. My chickens? They refuse to lay eggs, and when I try to introduce them to the joys of nature and free ranging, they just want to go back to the safety of their prison.

Does anyone else have stupid chickens that don't even want a taste of freedom? Methinks I have spoiled them far, far too much, and they're just used to the good life now. Either that or they have Stockholm syndrome.

Later~

Cindi

I hope you feel better after your story of wine wine and woe -- it sure brightened my day! Really, I can picture it. But hey -- at least you had wine.

Sounds a lot like me when I'm around the house and yard -- I always look my best hahahaha. Usually wearing mismatched clothes that are raggedy or have paint splatters and wearing my lime green crocs. Sometimes I can be found sitting on the front porch, drinking my coffee and holding a rooster in my lap. Of course, my porch faces the main highway and is close, so everyone that drives by can have a good laugh.

You said that you've never free ranged before. I'm thinking they are probably a little scared and intimidated by the open space. They might come around to really enjoy it after they've been out a few times. Keep trying. Mine have been going out since they were a couple of weeks old, so keeping them in the coop & run is difficult, but since an attempt by a flying predator they only get to go out somewhat supervised.

I have 2 little dogs -- one wants to stay out most of the time and chase the squirrels. The other does as yours do and barks to be let in seconds after he's gone out.

I am still laughing at you running across the yard with hairy legs, holding your wine and making chicken noises. Oh I wish you lived closer!

 

[TexasSam]

I'm dying for my first-ever egg. My first batch of pullets are 22 weeks--3 silkies, a Mille Fleur d'Uccle, and a bantam cochin. My second batch are two 20 week Ayam Cemanis and a younger stunted one.

No eggs as of yet, although my cochin has had the reddest, plumpest comb ever, red wattles, and is eating the oyster shell I put out for my girls. I have fake eggs in the coop. Every day I run out excitedly looking for eggs, I get an adrenaline burst when I see that fake egg cuz it looks so real! and nothing.

I want an egg!

Get A leghorn or A Easter egger they lay lots of eggs almost every day and they start laying 6 to 7 months.
My bantam Cochin lays three eggs A week and never goes broody possibly because I check for eggs twice A day

 

[andreanar]

Update #4,582:

Still. No. Egg. (sigh)

Not only that,my chickens are...not very smart, I think. Today I had the great idea (after having a friend pass away, being veryvery sick the past week , returning to work, having 2 horrendous work days, a wound that looks like a zombie bite and being on antibiotics; that is my caveat, lol) of this:

I am going to finally set some of my chooks free to graze, attended, on my front lawn. Whilst enjoying a glass of wine, antibiotics be damned. To celebrate the end of the bad week. They have never free ranged. I am a paranoid chicken owner. Nary a chipmunk let alone a feral cat or raccoon will bust into my Fort Knox of coops.

So I am sitting on my front lawn in a chair with a glass of Gallo (with ice. classy). My legs are hairy and exposed. No bra. Red chicken Sloggers on, a real fashion statement. I bring my chickens out for a rare glorious afternoon of freedom. I look like a total Piney--I have resisted the notion my whole life, although I've lived in the Pine Barrens half of it. I make fun of Pineys. My neighbors are all Pineys. My neighbors all have chickens and hairy legs too. I guess I am a Piney. Whatever.

I bring out my Brahma bantam girls and my Favacauna. They head right for the shade garden, could care less about the lush green 1/2 acre of weeds and a schmear of dead grass that is my front yard. They go under rhododendrons, hide, try to eat the tasty (poisonous?) leaves, the shiny red (toxic?) holly berries, the mulch. I throw scratch, I offer mealworms, I make chicken noises. I chase them onto the grass with my hairy legs and glass of wine. I'm pretty sure my neighbors across the street think I have lost my mind, as I am running around talking to (apparently) myself while drinking, hairy and resplendent.

After about half an hour of this I gave up, brought them back in the coop, grabbed 2 of my Silkies (hey! at least they can't fly off, no barbicels!) and brought them out to graze. In terror they ran to the woodpile at the side yard, heading to the safety of their coop. Olive (my brown one) almost broke her stupid neck trying to squeeze in through the chain link fence. Big Bird stood on top of the woodpile and squawked, pathetically. I finally gave up and here I sit, drinking my wine, telling my tale of woe.

Why can't I have normal pets? I have 3 dogs, none of whom like to go outside. Hello, you're a freaking dog! Enjoy the great outdoors. Yeah, no thanks. The second I let them out they are barking to come in. My chickens? They refuse to lay eggs, and when I try to introduce them to the joys of nature and free ranging, they just want to go back to the safety of their prison.

Does anyone else have stupid chickens that don't even want a taste of freedom? Methinks I have spoiled them far, far too much, and they're just used to the good life now. Either that or they have Stockholm syndrome.

Later~

Cindi

I died reading this! That could be a story I wrote myself! Hahaha