I'm never gonna get an egg!!!

[Crooked Chicken]

sounds like we're in good company!

 

[pitbullmomma]

I died reading this! That could be a story I wrote myself! Hahaha

Oh man. I wear the groadiest, most mismatched outfits ever for my chickening duties! I should compile a photo album of them; I'm sure my neighbors enjoy my fashion selections.

Sometimes when I go out there, I feel like Tony Soprano, when he would waddle out to his mailbox (or to pick up the paper, or whatever) every morning in his bathrobe and fuzzy slippers. The killer, the master manipulator and changer of lives, reduced to a sad man in a bathrobe getting his paper. That is me, out to the coop each day in my fuzzy blue robe and red chicken Sloggers. Yard candy? F*ck the Cemanis. I am the yard candy.

 

[andreanar]

Oh man. I wear the groadiest, most mismatched outfits ever for my chickening duties! I should compile a photo album of them; I'm sure my neighbors enjoy my fashion selections.

Sometimes when I go out there, I feel like Tony Soprano, when he would waddle out to his mailbox (or to pick up the paper, or whatever) every morning in his bathrobe and fuzzy slippers. The killer, the master manipulator and changer of lives, reduced to a sad man in a bathrobe getting his paper. That is me, out to the coop each day in my fuzzy blue robe and red chicken Sloggers. Yard candy? F*ck the Cemanis. I am the yard candy.

I'm the same. Maybe some brown and pink sweat pants rolled up, a wife beater, Yellow sloggers and most of the time a bra unless I have on a sweat shirt. I'm quite the fashionista! Red shorts, orange tank top, with knee high muck boots! Hair is always a hot mess, and I talk to my chickens. I ask them questions, and when they don't answer after a minute, I answer myself for them.

 

[pitbullmomma]

Egg Update/Fashion Flash #5,236:

Still no egg. Just my pretty tan ceramic ones I paid too much money for and can't eat.

I still don't know what a fresh egg tastes like, even though I have a bunch of chickens.

My outfit du jour:
Black man's undies? shorts? with buttons down the fly, bottles of Tabasco, and hot peppers (because I am apparently really hot stuff right now) all over them. A brightly colored pastel pink and blue elephant tank top that says "Key West," hairy armpits blazing, and the ever-ubiquitous Red Chicken Sloggers. My hair is a snarl, my head aches from all the wine I drank during yesterdays chicken grazing adventure. I used to care what I looked like and would never dream of going out without full makeup (hello, Jersey Girl, we are a genetically image-obsessed narcissistic breed).

Now in the wake of my chicken obsession and recovering from MRSA (husband swears it's from mucking around with "the dirty germy chickens"--I say it's from the dirty germy kids I work with, my chickens are much cleaner than them) I am reduced to a sweaty, hairy, mismatched sad freak. Tony Soprano in his bathrobe, lol. But the good news is, my zombie bite wound is almost healed!!

I should start athread about really messed up outfits we wear out to our coops, when we know the neighbs are watching. With pictures. That would be freaking hilarious.

 

[pitbullmomma]

I'm the same. Maybe some brown and pink sweat pants rolled up, a wife beater, Yellow sloggers and most of the time a bra unless I have on a sweat shirt. I'm quite the fashionista! Red shorts, orange tank top, with knee high muck boots! Hair is always a hot mess, and I talk to my chickens. I ask them questions, and when they don't answer after a minute, I answer myself for them.

Hahaha, various colored wife beaters are a staple in my arsenal! Sometimes I do mix it up with the Yellow Chicken Slogger muck boots if the weather is nasty. Sometimes I say "screw it" and wear my slippers and just scrape off the poo (I did not just say that).

When you talk to your chickens (as if THEY are the ones talking, to be clear) do you have, like, different voices for your chickens? Cuz that is when you know you have a problem. I talk for my dogs. My pit bull, Bucco (can you tell I was a big Sopranos fan?) is the most vocal. He has this big, dumb, slow voice when he talks. I call it his Cletus voice. More like, I don't know, how a moose would talk, rather than a dog.

Sometimes, when I am arguing a really stupid point with my husband, I start talking like Cletus. When it's something really obvious that he's not getting, like something medical or anatomical. And he'll go "why are you talking like the dog?" And Bucco looks at me like "Why are you talking like me?"

Yeah, I know. Dogs don't really talk. Whatever.

 

[Dayrel]

I'm noticing a pattern here.

1. Some people are having a hard time getting their hens to lay.
2. Those same people have really questionable fashion sense- at least around their chickens.
3. Is there a link between #1 and #2???

 

[pitbullmomma]

I hope you feel better after your story of wine wine and woe -- it sure brightened my day! Really, I can picture it. But hey -- at least you had wine.

Sounds a lot like me when I'm around the house and yard -- I always look my best hahahaha. Usually wearing mismatched clothes that are raggedy or have paint splatters and wearing my lime green crocs. Sometimes I can be found sitting on the front porch, drinking my coffee and holding a rooster in my lap. Of course, my porch faces the main highway and is close, so everyone that drives by can have a good laugh.

You said that you've never free ranged before. I'm thinking they are probably a little scared and intimidated by the open space. They might come around to really enjoy it after they've been out a few times. Keep trying. Mine have been going out since they were a couple of weeks old, so keeping them in the coop & run is difficult, but since an attempt by a flying predator they only get to go out somewhat supervised.

I have 2 little dogs -- one wants to stay out most of the time and chase the squirrels. The other does as yours do and barks to be let in seconds after he's gone out.

I am still laughing at you running across the yard with hairy legs, holding your wine and making chicken noises. Oh I wish you lived closer!

Oh, I'm so glad you liked it! I used to love writing silly little short stories about my messed-up life. I have lime green (fake, 4 dollars, from Christmas Tree Shops) crocs too! And wear paint splattered T's. That's crazy that we share the same coop clothes.

One of my faves is this old Grateful Dead T-shirt from back in the 70's when I was a young Deadhead trucking all up and down the East Coast (yeah, I am old). It is full of holes and has Alice in Wonderland sitting on a mushroom with a Cheshire cat. It is tie-dyed to the point of giving you seizures if you stare at it too long. It goes excellent with a pair of pale green silk Victoria's Secret pajama shorts, and the R.C. Sloggers. Maybe it's the hallucinogenic mushroom, or all the bright colors, but I swear it has a hypnotic effect on the chickens. Not to mention the neighbors, lol!

I guess when you get of a certain age you just don't give a hoot what people think of you any more, you get a real kick out of laughing at yourself, you stop listening to the depressing news on the radio, and you talk to yourself in chicken and dog voices. You spend most of your spare time with chickens. I don't know.

 

[pitbullmomma]

Get A leghorn or A Easter egger they lay lots of eggs almost every day and they start laying 6 to 7 months.
My bantam Cochin lays three eggs A week and never goes broody possibly because I check for eggs twice A day

I do have one Easter Egger, Maya. She's actually the most skittish of all my chickens (they're supposed to be friendly!) She's only not quite 11 weeks old, though, so too early for her! I can't wait till she starts laying her beautiful blue eggs.

 

[pitbullmomma]

I'm noticing a pattern here.

1. Some people are having a hard time getting their hens to lay.
2. Those same people have really questionable fashion sense- at least around their chickens.
3. Is there a link between #1 and #2???

Oh yeah. Most definately!

 

[chickendreams24]

Oh man. I wear the groadiest, most mismatched outfits ever for my chickening duties! I should compile a photo album of them; I'm sure my neighbors enjoy my fashion selections.

Sometimes when I go out there, I feel like Tony Soprano, when he would waddle out to his mailbox (or to pick up the paper, or whatever) every morning in his bathrobe and fuzzy slippers. The killer, the master manipulator and changer of lives, reduced to a sad man in a bathrobe getting his paper. That is me, out to the coop each day in my fuzzy blue robe and red chicken Sloggers. Yard candy? F*ck the Cemanis. I am the yard candy.

Oh, I'm so glad you liked it! I used to love writing silly little short stories about my messed-up life. I have lime green (fake, 4 dollars, from Christmas Tree Shops) crocs too! And wear paint splattered T's. That's crazy that we share the same coop clothes.

One of my faves is this old Grateful Dead T-shirt from back in the 70's when I was a young Deadhead trucking all up and down the East Coast (yeah, I am old). It is full of holes and has Alice in Wonderland sitting on a mushroom with a Cheshire cat. It is tie-dyed to the point of giving you seizures if you stare at it too long. It goes excellent with a pair of pale green silk Victoria's Secret pajama shorts, and the R.C. Sloggers. Maybe it's the hallucinogenic mushroom, or all the bright colors, but I swear it has a hypnotic effect on the chickens. Not to mention the neighbors, lol!

I guess when you get of a certain age you just don't give a hoot what people think of you any more, you get a real kick out of laughing at yourself, you stop listening to the depressing news on the radio, and you talk to yourself in chicken and dog voices. You spend most of your spare time with chickens. I don't know.

I do have one Easter Egger, Maya. She's actually the most skittish of all my chickens (they're supposed to be friendly!) She's only not quite 11 weeks old, though, so too early for her! I can't wait till she starts laying her beautiful blue eggs.

Okay ladies and gents I too just have to join this thread! I almost peed myself reading it and am just loving everyone's comments above are a few of my favorites and I forgot to quote the wine and stupid chicken story which I also loved.

First @pitbullmomma don't worry about your EE from our experience they tend to settle once they start laying and stop thinking people are Godzilla. Just be patient and gentle with her.

And for pity's sake keep up all the chicken talking guys! I have an EE Pebbles who loves to jump up on my are and talk talk talk back to me. Lol

Now I too have questionable chore clothes which also double as a round the house clothes(don't worry poopy clothes get changed)

That being said most of them are holey or stained or paint splattered often they are shorts I took from my DH2B. I almost never wear a bra out to the coop or garden bc well the chickens don't care. That being said I should really start bc for some reason DH2B's Dad usually shows up right about the time I'm out in my worst clothes no bra pj shorts hairy legs(although it's blonde so not visible except in the right sun angle) and my hair back in an unkept pony tail. ...
The worst thing we live in one of the houses owned by DH2B's family farm so he can and does show up whenever. Face palm.

That's nothing though a couple years ago we had seed corn around the house which has to be detasseled by workers. I got up and went to take the dogs out in a tank top and my boy short underwear only to walk on our back porch and see a bus with 50 or so workers mostly guys sitting on the ground about 100 or less feet from my back door. All staring and smiling.

Oh my goodness.

I used to care what I looked like when I was outside and I do still somewhat. The difference is now when DH2B asks me why I didn't put on a bra and clothes to go out and pick tomatoes(as his father pulls up the drive) I tell him it's my yard it's my home and I can wear whatever I want. And I didn't want to get my good clothes dirty in the garden or out with the flock.

Yes I have become a child again I have good clothes and play clothes and that's fine by me. LoL

I too am the yard candy. Lol

I also have March and April pullets that aren't laying. I also have no idea why and I too am impatiently waiting to see what several EE, CL, BO, etc will lay.

I would also like to comment on the oegb conversation that went on early in this thread.

We have multiple oegb along with most everything else and I love them! Now I do think it depends on the strain or line.

We keep multiple breeds and multiple roosters and except for when we are specifically breeding a group or two they're all together. We do have a very large coop and free range along with a smaller run and a grow out pen. And a newly made tractor. The coop is also two rooms. We will over winter 60+ birds


My oegb are some of my very friendliest birds, and they lay okay but are notorious for hiding eggs and trying to set. Of course their eggs are also quite small. Our silkies(especially our first group) are actually quite good layers when not broody which happens most in the spring and fall for us.


Also while I do have generic Crocs my shoe of choice in the garden or with the flock are flip flops(without toenails painted) I also have specific chore boots although I need a new pair bc they have gone to the great shoe store beyond since this spring.