Is it Wrong to have a "Crush" on Someone if You Are Married?

[Chickie Mamma]

Quote:
As I am sure you know, happiness can take alot of work. Work on yourself, work with your partner, and just knowing that respect is sometimes hard to give, when we just really wanna yell out heads off at the one we know can take it.

Yes, it can take alot of work! It has taken alot of work for the past couple years. He doesn't want to work on it. I respect him as a good father and provider, but other than that, there's nothing

 

[Chickie Mamma]

Quote:

I like the left side

 

[geebs]

Yep it is wrong...

 

[Souperchicken]

I'm assuming you mean daydreaming/obsessing about someone in real life. It's one thing to have a "crush" on a celebrity or someone not in real life. But to have a crush on another person in real life is wasting your valuable time that could be used to focus on your marriage or other more important things. It is exciting to think of someone in that way, but I learned long ago nothing good comes from it- it clouds your mind, it's usually unrealistic(if not, I would question the integrity of man who would be willing to be with a woman still married) and it makes your husband look less desirable next to the perfect fantasy in your mind. In my opinion it is very unhealthy for a relationship.

 

[sheila3935]

He has to work at it too. If he is not willing you are fighting an empty battle. I know with kids its hard to walk or even think about walking away. But know this if mom and dad arent happy kids wont be either. I dont know how old your children are, but in my situation my girls were 13 and 8 My ex was manic depressive and controling. We tried consuling like you he made excuses and even lied to counselor even went so far as to lie to our pastor at our church made me out to be some kind of not very nice woman. My kids were unhappy I was unhappy life was misrable. Finally I got up the nerve to leave. Wasnt easy. But now I am remarried 11 years to a great guy who loves me and my kids and I love his kids they are all ours. So see whatever you decide life does go on its just too short to be unhappy. I say and IMO try again let him know its all or nothing. Maybe if he knows he will lose you things will get better. Try til theres no trying left.

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

Hey, show your husband these posts. That'll start a fire in his shorts!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
As I am sure you know, happiness can take alot of work. Work on yourself, work with your partner, and just knowing that respect is sometimes hard to give, when we just really wanna yell out heads off at the one we know can take it.

Yes, it can take alot of work! It has taken alot of work for the past couple years. He doesn't want to work on it. I respect him as a good father and provider, but other than that, there's nothing

There are times that it is just done. I would really hate to see you say it is done because someone else has caught your eye. Seperate those things PLEASE. If you don't you may regret it.

PM if you want more blatant badgering.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
You are HOT... and there would be something wrong with me if you are not

birdaholic you ARE hot, and WHERE did you get your hammock yard art? I must get one.
OP it's hard to be clear-minded about your marriage and what you want to do about it when you have a crush but crushes do add a certain spice to life. Hopefully you can enjoy a little crush and not make your marriage/hubby pay for it but probably not...

OMG you people have an air compressor hooked to his head at this point!!!!

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

I'm up to a size 10 hat already!

 

[Chickie Mamma]

Quote:
Yes, life is too short to be unhappy! My kids have no clue that anything is wrong.. (I've become a great actress) we never argue in front of them etc.. I am not good with change and fear ever leaving. AlI ever thought about were him and my kids.. now at 36 I want to get my nails and hair done every so often, and buy some clothes (now that I've lost over 20 pounds since May). I never minded being a stay at home mom, sacrificing for almost 10 years. But I need some pampering from time to time. I get no attention

My mom still will give me money for clothes, etc. I am not a materialistic person, never will be. But there is a point in someones life that they want to feel "special".