Is it Wrong to have a "Crush" on Someone if You Are Married?

[joebryant]

Never mind! I removed my statement.

 

[sonew123]

Annie I love you to pieces and havent gotten through but 2 pages thus far and I cant until I get this off of my chest..

DO NOTHING WITH ANYONE-do not make your feelings known to this other person-stay away. Ive been exactly where you are-it is the lonliest place there is--you will justify everything to do what you want even though you know deep down it's so wrong. Force your Dh's card and if he is not willing to do whatever it takes to make this marriage work-then do what you need to do for you and your children first- ( still with no one on the back burner) File for legal seperation-get your own place-divide and concurr finances-set up visitations-etc... Then and ONLY then will you have a clear head on the grips of this very serious situation. Trust me Ann-the GRASS is NEVER greener on the other side and you owe it to yourself to make sure 100% that you are done in the marriage before you ever put yourself out there as single and available...Do things the right way-the respectful way to all invovled-then nothing can come back to bite you in the A$$.... You do not want the courts/lawyers dragging dirty business in there and hurt your chances with the custody of your children. It will be so sad/so lonely for a bit. But if thats truly what you want to do ( divorce) Then in the end doing things the right way pays off....Marriage is work no matter how you look at it. DH and I seperated for well over a year-I was NOT happy/neither was he- but you know what-. he didnt know half the stuff that was wrong-he didnt listen-or couldn't-we both got involved with others-we both thought the grass was greener with them-umm no both were closet wanna be's who put up massive fronts faking their way through making people believe they were something when they weren't-----life.....We NEVER thought wed get back together-he hated me I hated him but we were friends for our chicldren ( they never saw us fight-never) he called me one night to watch a movie when we were both single again-of course I went afterall he was my friend and we did still love eachother-we both learned the hard way we belong together and to fight for what is right and never give in to anything-we are stuck together and we love it... we have our moments for sure-but resentment is not there any longer-my mouth is and Im very verbal and dont cave until I know for a fact he understands and vice versa. Itsben almost 3 years of being back together-and is it roses? heck no but Im not easy nor is he at times-were human but we love eachother and dont regret getting back together

NOW..if he is verbally and or physically abusive get out before your children learn that that is acceptable. I love you Annies and wish you only the best-pm me anytime and I cant wait to hug you next week!


Fireproof is an amazing Christian movie watch it-

PS--I had lost 40lbs-nail and hair got done all the time and yes your mind goes nuts-hormones too-had a hysterectomy-it all plays a role on your thought processes-you have to seperate them out into reality

 

[welsummerchicks]

"Yawn"

why is it a yawn? Men spent all of civilization asking 'what does woman want', someon tells 'em and it's 'yawn'.

LOL.

 

[sonew123]

Quote:
Ignore Joe his wife will be along shortly to beat him! LOL

 

[joebryant]

Quote:
Ignore Joe his wife will be along shortly to beat him! LOL

Too late, sonew123. I liked your reply to her so much that I removed my statement. I really liked what you said... GREAT advice.

 

[sonew123]

Quote:
Ignore Joe his wife will be along shortly to beat him! LOL

Too late, sonew123. I liked your reply to her so much that I removed my statement. I really liked what you said... GREAT advice.

wow thanks Joe!

 

[deerman]

Sonew123 , has the best advise.


My X of 23 years.....went looking for the greener grass, guess she is still looking ,been marry 3 times more, single again. Better to work on your yard to get the grass greener.

I had no idea she was that unhappy. after her split with her crush(who beat her)who she married. She came to me less than a year from when we split wanting to get back together, I couldn't because I fear I would never really trust her.


I never abuse her, except I did worked alot, like 70 hr weeks, now understand I missed good times with my boys and her.

Being a dumbie trying to earn as much as i could to buy nice thing for all.


But talk to him before its to late, I would have change if I knew how bad thing were. Us men can be blind sometimes. Bet your crush will not be your greener grass. Look at his faults also.

 

[speckledhen]

A great saying is "You can't prevent birds from flying over your head, but you can stop them from nesting in your hair", if you get my drift. Attraction is natural, but if you find it becoming more than just appreciating someone of the opposite sex for their appearance or personality, then you need to stay as far away from that person as possible--don't make things harder for yourself. Thinking, "Hmm, what a great looking/nice/kind/sweet guy! If I wasn't already married...." is fine. Finding ways to be near that person is what you must avoid at all costs. Been successfully married for almost 35 years and it wasn't just dumb luck keeping it going.

 

[welsummerchicks]

"his wife will be here shortly to beat him"

lol

 

[sonew123]

Quote:
Deerman-you could have been my hubby-for 10 years I begged for attention for me and my girls-he was a good man who worked very hard to give a great things-I didnt care about "those things" I wanted a friend and spouse-not a part time hubby who my girls cried for everynight before bed. I needed him-not the $ he was making- It took a horrible seperation for him to see that light and how much he missed. We had equal visitation and it forced him to be into their lives 3-4 nights a weeks ( he had them 3 days straight Fri-Sat-Sun I had them M-F through school days since I moved to town and he stayed 20 miles out of town) It opened his eyes to what he should have been doing for them and with me. he is a much better, understanding, cooler dad because of it all-"he gets me" NOW...