Ken, Work, Fear, etc.

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Actually, Shelly may have nailed it there. Guys are problem solvers. They want to FIX things. Your son is probably worried to death about his dad (step dad?). Being a guy, he of course can't really talk about it. Being the mom, you are expected to talk about it.

Can you sit down with him and enlist his help with the problems? I mean, he likely can't help with the stupid people at work, but maybe discuss the things really stressing you around the house. Have him help come up with a game plan. Explain that it is temporary while you are dealing with all this stress (so he doesn't freak out!), but that you just can't handle it all right now and need his help figuring it out. That way HE is helping come up with a solution and will be more willing to take one for the team. He might just surprise you with what he comes up with. When my dad was diagnosed with cancer we all wanted to just DO something. Somehow it made it less terrifying if there was something tangible to do.

So far as DH goes, have you thought about getting one of those monitoring necklace thingies? You know, the "I've fallen and I can't get up" necklace? Don't know if DH would wear it, but at least you would know that he has an instant way to summon help if there is a problem. It would give him more freedom to go and do and hopefully put your mind a little more at ease.

I'm sorry you are having to bear this load. It just wears at your mind and heart. Life cycles around though and you are due for an upswing. Hang in there and know that we all love you!

 

[key west chick]

Well I want to know if you are still keeping up with your farm? Lady, you have crops to tend to and animals that need care. But seriously, big hugs and lots of prayers for you guys.

 

[Sjisty]

Quote:
Here, I'm giving you chocolate covered strawberries. Close your eyes. Taste that wonderful chocolate, the strawberry juice running down your throat ...

On second thought, get your own - these are mine, all mine!!!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Here, I'm giving you chocolate covered strawberries. Close your eyes. Taste that wonderful chocolate, the strawberry juice running down your throat ...

On second thought, get your own - these are mine, all mine!!!

I slept til 10 this morning. I am still tired but not like I was last night.

Cetawin - the people at work are not people I work with but contractors and subs calling and asking the same stupid questions over and over. With this economy we have 50 primes bidding this thing and I think I hate them all.

 

[chickenzoo]

Sit in the middle of the chicken coup and scream and bawl.... just don't scare the chickies too much, lol. Hand the mop & vacuum to your son, jump in a hot bath and eat chocolate covered strawberries till you explode, LOL. Hugs to you........

 

[Omran]

Debi, I wish you were my town, I would be honered to help, and that's no joke.
Construction's projects are real long and tough, so I know where you are coming from when you say you are tired of stuped ???????, but unfortunately no thing can be done about this, because most ppl in this field will ask and ask no matter how many times they did the same thing. So just take it easy and relax.
we all on BYC love you, so we will keep praying for you.

Omran

 

[ChickBond 007]

Hon, there's little in the world that cannot look vastly better after a stiff margarita and a pedicure. Really, think about it, the drink brings on that forced relaxation, and someone rubbing your feet for an hour or so makes you forget all else. In 60 minutes and $35, the world looks slightly rosier.

If you weren't a plane ride away, I come right over and do what needed done.

I have two boys. They act like men most of the time, and sometimes, I have to say to them "Hold my hand and listen to me."
Then.. they get it. They listen. They help with what I am asking.
((or the beatings will continue until morale improves...)) (that's sarcasm, kids, keep it in check)

I'm thinking of you. I'm hoping Ken is on the mend from whatever ailment the medical people have overlooked. Sometimes the best healing comes from being home with those you love.

 

[Whispering Winds]

Notice I say self-absorbed, not self-centered. There is a difference. It doesn't cross their mind that we need help, because we have always done it all.

This is so true of my family. I LOVEd taking care of my family; it was my life's mission, so now if I am bleeding out my eyeballs, (and I have a disabled husband also, so I understand about having an ill husband, although mine is rebounding pretty good. He will never be able to go back to work, but at least he is able to get out and do things.) no one says a word. It seems as long as I can walk and talk and still bleed out my eyeballs, things are great!! Our kids are great people, but they act like I haven't aged a bit, and can still carry the load that I did for 25 years. If I say anything, they mouth the right words, but no one HELPS me. If I call and ask they will, but you're right. They are so self-absorbed in their own little world, looking my way never enters their mind. I love them to the death, but it would be nice just to have someone call and say, "hey, I am coming over to dust and vac the whole house for you!!" But, then if they did, I would drop over dead from shock, and that isn't a good thing either!!!

I am so sorry your husband has been so sick; maybe things will turn around for him. It's also frustrating to not KNOW for sure what the issue is!!!

 

[Laurieks]

First

:footrub :scalp massage

Can you have an assistant at work, even for a short time? It sounds like right now you need to work half time if you can, or work from home some days or hours??
Last week my boss (younger than me) had chest pain and was gone a few days, so we took turns carrying her phone and running the unit. OMG is that ever stressful! It helps us all remember how it is for her 40++ hours a week, and force her to take a break during the day (even then she only takes 20 min.)

Re: Ken: will he check in with you on a regular basis... like hourly text just to say "I'm ok" or *hug* *kiss*, etc.?

Re: DS: Will he pick from a job list? I've been pondering making a grid with jobs for my DH & DS to select from... you have prompted me to finally do it... now I just have to go over it with them...it has tiny jobs we already do, to recognize eachother for what we do. (as IF you need more to do

but it might be worth it)

 

[gumpsgirl]

No advice here Deb, just hugs.