May have to get rid of all my chickies. Sorry, long.

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Well how far is this place in TX from your place in AR. I can understand both sides and it doesn't make it easier for you because I know you see both sides as well. But maybe you can stay till the place sells and travel to see him once a month or so. How long has he been in the service and how long is he planning on staying in the service, might want to weigh that in as well. And I also want to thank you both for serving our country.
 
It is very difficult being a military family in these times, my husband just had to medically retired after 17.5 years after putting up with them almost killing him with toxic fumes 15 years ago and struggling with the respitory problems it has caused, not paying us much either. I know my husband often set aside his comfort so that I could keep my animals and stay near my family. He literly lived in a van for a year when they sent him to a different duty station. Its very hard, but it would have been harder if we had sold everything and two years later he was forced to medically retire and we would have had to start over with his poor health. Being apart is hard. You have to decide if you move how often will you be alone, will your husband be there or deployed often. Is it better for you to be near family, for you and your child. How much longer will he be in and what would you do or want to go if he got injured. The military is not everything, it is one small piece of the rest of your life, do not let it consume everything you love. That said, your husband is probably very lonely and saddened by the distance between you, it is very stressful, along with everything else military.LOL But you'll need to decided together what is best in the long run, not just now. We give everything when we are in, but it's surprising how much your forgotten when you'r out. Hang in there.....
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Thanks everyone. We are talking it over right now.....just don't know what is going to happen. I guess the worst thing is the absolute lack of notice. At first he said I needed to be ready to move in a month. One month to turn my life on its ear and abandon everyone within a couple of weeks.
 
I'm so sorry! :aww I hope a solution presents itself soon. My DH and I have been living apart for over 5 months, due to a new job. It is hard. He's my best friend (when we arent fighting). I will have you in my prayers! Steph
 
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I am so sorry for all you are going through with this. Is he is Texas now or elsewhere? the reason I ask is if he is in Texas maybe he can start looking for housing for you to where you won't have to get rid of all of your animals, if not I know when we were looking at relocating to Wyoming I did alot of online looking for houses etc. As far as your house there what about leasing to own as an option for someone that way it is still getting paid off talk with a realitor on that I know a friend of mine relocated to Wisconsin and that is what they ended up doing with their place here just a thought. As for your situation with your mom and the neices, hmmmm that one is waaayyyyy tougher......My thoughts are with you on that, I can relate totally. Please take heart and know that as hard as what your hubby said try to understand where he is coming from too I am sure he misses you all terribly. Moving is always so hard and even harder in a situaton like this.
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Know we are all thinking of you and thank you for your sacrifices and service for us all!
 
Being a part of the military world is never easy...for husband or wife. My husband retired from the Navy after 28 years. He had been in six years when we got married. So...we had 3 years in Beeville TX, then 2 years in Oak Harbor, WA, 2 yrs in Japan. 1 yr back in Beeville while he finished the Japan rotation, 6 years in Dallas, 3 in Oak Harbor, and finally 2 in Calif. I can attest to the fact that it is not easy on the family. Having said that, I also can say that most of the time I could stay home with my children without financial assistance. Not many people can say that today. I can truthfully say I would not have given up any of those years nor any of those places. I've made some lifelong friends, have learnt about different cultures within the US. I believe my now grown children would say the same thing.

I sincerely believe the military culture creates the self-centered attitude. Fortunately, it's not long lasting
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Most of the time, my husband was not afflicted with that particular nasty attitude. I think during the times that he was it was due to other stressful things going on in his life and the bottom line, he needed attention.

I hope that you and your husband are able to come to a compromise so that you have time to settle things where you are and he is able to also enjoy his family.
 
Well.....we talked and talked and talked some more. He is going to decline this move (it was totally voluntary) and go with our original plan which should see us back together within a year or so. That gives me time to get things taken care of and see if I can talk my mom into moving wherever we do. It isn't HER I am really worried about. While yes, I worry about her, she is responsible for those girls who can't take care of themselves if something goes wrong. I am scared to leave them.

As for our son's health, that was never optional to us. He has what has been described as the most severe case of asthma they have seen by several medical professionals. He actually spent his first month of life in the hospital on oxygen, and while premature, not nearly early enough to warrant that. It has been down hill since. My husband is in Colorado and our son can't handle the elevation or extra long cold season. Again, the Air Force made it clear that they did not care as long as he was alive in an oxygen tent in a hospital, they were doing their part for our family.

He has been in 13 years, so he will be in until he retires. He also grew up in an Air Force family and this statement
I sincerely believe the military culture creates the self-centered attitude. Fortunately, it's not long lasting

is so very true!!! Also, I have told him so many times that he views people as disposable, and he really does. Everyone but me and the kids, anyway. He has lots of friends but has never had that lifelong connection with anyone but me. He is my best friend, my soul mate. We have worked through some extremely difficult situations since we married and we will this one, too. It just hurts right now.........

Again, thank you to everyone. I really appreciate alll of the kind words and thoughts. You guys are an awesome bunch here!!! This is definitely the best and the kindest group I have seen yet!!!​
 
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My thought and prayers are with you and your family, I know how hard it is being military and the short notice moves. I do not think you are being selfish at all, but in turn putting so many's welfares into your thoughts first . Even though us Arky's aren't so far from Texas it is far enough to consider giving all your precious chickies and pets away. I only hope that you can find a solution to this that will make everyone okay. My prayers are with you now and please let me know if there is anything we can help you with. You are not that far from where I am. You can email or pm me anytime if you need. I can help foster some babies if need be for you , just let me know if we can help. Trudy
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I'm in Arkansas, too--I live just minutes from the Air Base gates. Is there anything I can do to help? I have room for animals, whatever. Please feel free to call on me! You can email me with my username at gmail.

Belinda
 
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