Mid-life Crisis or WHAT??

[Up-the-Creek]

Okay,..I am only 38,not sure why or what is going on with me. I have lived here all my life pretty much. Moved here when I was a little girl. I have never really been anywhere, haven't had the time or money. I live close to my parents, always have tried to stay "close" to family,..a very dysfunctional family though. I have a wonderful husband, two great children, a nice home,...I know blah,blah,blah,....Oh and I have NO social life or job. I am a SAHM,...I know,lucky me. I have this problem that is nagging me to death literally,...IS THIS ALL THERE IS TO MY LIFE?????? I know I am lucky to have what I have, and yes I can get a job, get friends,....blah,blah,...but it is soooooooo maddening. For example,..I decided to call an old aquaintance last night to chat and catch up,....she talked the whole time and I never got a word in edge ways,....then just out of the blue after and hour of her running her lips,..she just cuts me off and says she has to go. What the $#() ??? How freaking rude! I am so tired of trying so hard with friends and family,..they just seem to think they can treat me however they like and guess what??,...I will still be around when they need me. My DH says I am in a rut,...no,..I think it is more like a big dark cave and I am at the end of my rope and my flashlight is beginning to flicker,.....I always had plans for myself,..places i wanted to see,..things i wanted to do,...then life happened. UUUHHHHHHH! I am so aggrivated and so mad at the universe for everything,..and yes there is much more to the story,..but I digress at this point. Am I expecting too much???? I have tried everything to keep me occupied,..hobby after hobby,...and before everyone starts saying you should consider yourself very lucky at what you do have because others don't have this, or whatever,...I know that. Half full,..not half empty.....I am so tired,.....anyone have any suggestions???? Besides getting medicated by a quack doctor??,.....or will this pass????Please tell me it will.

 

[EweSheep]

I understand perfectly, and I am going thru that too! Got everything wonderful going too!

Wanted to go places as well but know there is a limit in how much we can spend and so forth. Scotland is one of those places I wanna go!!!!

And perimenopausal isn't helping me either! What a drag!

I do think I am in a mid life crisis as well. Or bored LOL!

 

[Up-the-Creek]

Well I am estatic to know someone gets what I am saying!!!

Oh,..and Scotland,..what I wouldn't give to go there too.

 

[JetBlack]

Tell your DH you want to travel. See Europe. Go to Tahiti. Something. If you can save all the money you make, from a part time job [even mowing lawns!], you can do a different country, every year.

Oh, and everyone knows the "glass is half full." They just don't tell you, of what!

 

[The Chicken People]

Glad to know I am not the only one! But lately I have been busy with husbands health and the grandkids!
This to shall pass!
Or you can change it!
No quacky doctors with their feel good pills here I just take it as it comes!
Only have friends that are long distance away or one true friend next door who works long hours but is always a phone call away!
She is a nurse but also my life line!

 

[Stevo]

I am on my 5th mid life crisis. Just ignore it and it will pass.

 

[tuesdays chicks]

Where are you? we should get together lol. and no I'm not making light of how your feeling. I would like to say oh its just a phase your going through but I don't know you. yes I think most of us get the feeling that people just see right through us. if your like me which it sounds like by your phone call with your friend its all about them! alot of the time. don't feel bad your not in the boat alone. I made a decision the other week because I decided I wasn't going to sit around and wait for life to pass me by. yes like you I have a good life, but I haven't seen 1 of my brothers and his family in about 5 years the children are growing up and I don't even know them, so I decided I'm going to see them on monday. I think what you need to do is something like that, decide what you want and say I'm doing it! it doesn't need to e something extravagant, but what you do you need to do it for you and noone else. gl
erica

 

[Hillsvale]

Quote:
Duh.... wine!

 

[Up-the-Creek]

Believe me I am trying very hard to ignore it,...Most my family would say,.."Oh it is just your hormones,...go to the doctor. Or maybe more serious,...you could be depressed. Maybe you need a pill to fix it." (in a very high pitched nasal voice) Yep,..pills fix everything.

No support,....

 

[Andi]

I understand. I was a SAHM when the kids were little, too. I'm an empty nester now and would give up so much to go back to those days.

Anyway, I do recall the frustrations that went with it. Feeling isolated and like life is passing you by. Everything is about the kids. I would remind myself that I can get back to my life once they had a good start on theirs. (Now I'm having a difficult time shifting gears. Go figure.)

You need to balance things or you'll go crazy. The stress ebbs and flows. That's life in general. Things will mellow naturally, but that doesn't mean you are bound to just sit through it. If you don't maintain your happiness it will rub off on your kids. If nothing else, be a good role model to show your kids that you're important and have needs too. You wouldn't want your kids to grow up and not take care of themselves now, would you? Your actions speak louder than words. So, if you need the justification to treat yourself, just remember you're doing it for your kids.

Here's some ideas that aren't expensive.

State parks. With a state park sticker you can go to any park for free. There's some amazing things out there.
Movie night. Once a month you and your friends, or even just one friend, rent or borrow a movie and sit around eating munchies and gab.
Have a date with your hubby. It doesn't need to be expensive, but you guys need your time together to recharge, too.
Volunteer. There's a great need for volunteers for all kinds of stuff and it will give you the opportunity to meet other people. One thing to get your mind off of how tight finances are is to help others who's finances are tight also. You'll also have a sense of empathy that's comforting to those that have to swallow their pride to ask for help.
Join a group. For example, I enjoy fish, and aquarium clubs are a great get away into a world of people that are like me. I've heard of communities having groups for SAHMs. I went to one put together through my church and it was nice. If nothing strikes your fancy, start one that interests you. One day a month for an hour is doable for anyone but the pay backs are so much more valuable.

Its not so much what you do, its that you do something. You need you time to be able to do your job as a SAHM better.

Oh, and SAHM also stands for Sexy and Hot Momma, too. Buy yourself some pretty undergarments to make you feel pretty on the inside.

Best wishes on enjoying life!