My best friend has depression and i don't know if i can help

[MillersFarm]

Oh hun, I know just how you're feeling. And everyone has given amazing advice so far.
I have had anxiety all my life, I started I feeling depressed when I turned 13, back then my anxiety was so bad I couldn't even call or text any of my friends, So i was always outside with my animals or inside reading,watching movies, or playing games. I also have social withdrawal. It's hard for me to deal with stressful situations without shutting down completely. When I was 13/14 I had very toxic relationship with one of my "Best friends" Who was raised in a very religious family. We were actually childhood friends and had known each other since we were 2. When I was round 13/14 he found had out that I was bisexual, and went out of his way to make me feel horrible about myself and my sexuality whenever he had the chance, And I just kind of let it happen for months until I had enough. I knew it wasn't healthy for me to be around him, I knew it wasn't healthy for me to feel how I did so I just ended it, I told him off and i've never spoken to him ever since, Since then i've been trying my best to do what's best for me. Because I knew if I kept acting like how I did I wasn't going to end up well. I was home schooled too, Through actually up until collage, I dreaded the day I had to go to collage, My anxiety took over and I couldn't handle it, I kept thinking I wasn't going to be "excepted" and i'd be bullied 24/7 there. But It turned out to be pretty cool, I was the youngest person in my classes and looked way younger than my actual age, and people would think I was super smart and cool or something (Which I will admit i'm not the smartest person you'll meet) but everyone was chill, They talked to me and I talked to them, Made a few friends and all was well. I still do have episodes every now and then but I try my best to handle it, I actually look forward to collage now,
Whenever you're feeling down or doubting yourself, Please talk to someone. It's not your fault that your friend is going through a lot. And it's not your fault that you've set her off by saying something about your cousin, If she knows he's bullying you and putting you through a hard time and not doing anything to help or even just listening without getting set off then I wouldn't be with her right now. I get that you're worried about her, and that's really sweat, But if she's stressing you out, Making you feel bad or blaming yourself for something you didn't cause, I wouldn't be hanging out with her right now. And please tell your parents or his parents about your cousin and his immature behavior. i'll be praying for you that things will get better, And that you have a great day at school your bearded dragon was so gorgeous! I Use to have a couple of them too, They were super friendly and cuddly. I'm so sorry to hear that she's gone.

Yeah thats like alot 4 a chikn chat group 2 handl umm im tony id like 2 help but im not a physician mayby benzodiazepine for social anxiety and prozac or zoloft for depression besides u r going 2 b ok its just a lizard not ur mom i think ur chickns donot have ne thing wrong with them ur just bein psychosomatic

That really wasn't at all appropriate to say, You have no idea how this person is feeling or what they are going through. The OP obviously made it clear that her lizard was very special to her, So saying "It's just a lizard" Is like someone saying "It's just a dog" after your pet dog/puppy died. I know how she feels, I had a pet tortuous that had the same background, She was horribly taken care of by her past owners and never grew due to the limited food/space they gave her, She was the my "best friend" and I hung out with her all the time watching movies and such. I was devastated when she passed away, and took me a while to get over her..

 

[MissChick@dee]

Do you see what you’ve done Miss Jemma ??? You’ve got a lot of people sharing. Sharing things with others. It’s an amazing thing when you open heart for others to come in when your going through a storm (of emotion or doubt or troubles).
Always remember that!
Your going to do awesome in high school. All you need to do is be yourself and open to others. I’m sure there’s others who read but didn’t reply...that’s okay too. Maybe they will next time.
Keep us posted!!

 

[Jemma Rider]

.

Do you see what you’ve done Miss Jemma ??? You’ve got a lot of people sharing. Sharing things with others. It’s an amazing thing when you open heart for others to come in when your going through a storm (of emotion or doubt or troubles).
Always remember that!
Your going to do awesome in high school. All you need to do is be yourself and open to others. I’m sure there’s others who read but didn’t reply...that’s okay too. Maybe they will next time.
Keep us posted!!

That's certainly a nice thought
Thank you

 

[sourland]

Jemma, I think that you have just created 'Jemma's Team', and we will be here to serve as a sounding board and hopefully help.

 

[Evelyn's Mom]

I think you're going to have to cut the bestie loose, keep talking to people (and writing! both help us to re-hash things and get new perspectives) and focus on you and your new school...how exciting!! You'll find new friends, too, that will help to know how a good relationship should feel like and over time it will get easier. I know it's easier said than done. I think we all have at least 1 "friend" we've had to move on from. I know I have! Hang in there, girlie! We're rooting for you!

 

[lcwmt]

Are you familiar with the poet, Mary Oliver? One of her poems, "The Journey", is about letting go of trying to help or save the people in your life who are having a negative impact on you. It's worth looking up. Along the way, maybe you'll fall in love with her other poems; many remind us to be present in the natural world, to pay attention. And there are poems about her silly and much loved dogs.

Jemma, Many of us can relate to your words, to the pain and loss you feel. You are not alone.
There's been good advice, more will come no doubt, but the important thing is, this is a safe place and you are not alone.

High School age years can be full of feelings of isolation, of feeling too deeply, of trying to find your place. Being Home Schooled is great in a lot of ways but often leaves people without a neutral adult to turn to. Maybe you can get that feedback here.

(When I'm in a dark space in my life, I try to just sit outside and watch the sky. Or walk with the dog, or watch the amusing chickens, doing their thing. Just being still can calm me down and help me find myself again.)

 

[townchicks]

So sorry about your Roxy, beardies can be such a personable lizard. Just remember that you made her life so much better. I'm glad to hear that you can talk to your mom too, that must be a relief. I understand the feeling of walking on eggshells around your friend. Depression is a real risk for suicide, but please understand that you will not and cannot be the cause of anything that she may do to herself. It is a disease, one that is a constant struggle. Hopefully, she can get help, with counseling and medication. If you can talk to her mother about your concerns, she may be able to get the help she needs. Just remember, it is not your job to save her, it is your job to save yourself. If that means creating some space away from your friend, do it.
Just something else to bear in mind, not saying that this is what's going on, but some people use suicide threats as a means to manipulate others around them. Take a hard look at the relationship, and try to decide if your friend really needs you, or is just using you. Is she there for you like you try to be there for her? If not, then she may not be such a great friend.

 

[MissChick@dee]

Are you familiar with the poet, Mary Oliver? One of her poems, "The Journey", is about letting go of trying to help or save the people in your life who are having a negative impact on you. It's worth looking up. Along the way, maybe you'll fall in love with her other poems; many remind us to be present in the natural world, to pay attention. And there are poems about her silly and much loved dogs.

Jemma, Many of us can relate to your words, to the pain and loss you feel. You are not alone.
There's been good advice, more will come no doubt, but the important thing is, this is a safe place and you are not alone.

High School age years can be full of feelings of isolation, of feeling too deeply, of trying to find your place. Being Home Schooled is great in a lot of ways but often leaves people without a neutral adult to turn to. Maybe you can get that feedback here.

(When I'm in a dark space in my life, I try to just sit outside and watch the sky. Or walk with the dog, or watch the amusing chickens, doing their thing. Just being still can calm me down and help me find myself again.)

BINGO!!

 

[Brahma Chicken5000]

@Jemma Rider your bearded dragon was beautiful! My dad has always wanted to get one, he said that they’re great pets! I know how it is to rescue an animal and watch it recover and blossom into a loving creature before your eyes. I have 3 bantams that I rescued from a dusty dark barn stall that were fed garbage and they are the sweetest birds.
I think that the best thing that you can do for you and your friend is to seek professional help. There’s nothing wrong with going to a psychologist, I go to one because I have ADHD and anxiety. I know that society attaches a stigma to anyone who doesn’t fit the mold, but you need to talk to someone, be it a school counselor, your parents, a psychologist, you need to get this load off your chest so that you can breathe easier. I hope all goes well with your first day of high school, before you know it the year will be over. So go out there and make some awesome friends!
I know how scary it can be transitioning to a new school. Today was my first day of college and I practically had a panic attack trying to find the parking lot and thinking I would be late for classes.

 

[Brahma Chicken5000]

@sourland #Jemma’s Team