My husband is being a jerk!! >:(

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I think you had it right until the last statement...

If she is at home caring for 3 young children, cleaning the house, fixing breakfast, lunch and dinner, doing laundry and everything else envolved with the upkeep of the household....she has a full time job! Plus the fact that she is attending college to enhance her career opportunities, ....he should be paying her instead of wasting THEIR hard earned money.

Just my opinion of course.
 
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No, I didn't. At the time I didn't really notice how much I gave into him. We argued about it a lot and I eventually gave in, grudgingly.

My starting to work was the beginning of the end really. The stupid SUV didn't help matters but there were a lot of things wrong with our relationship. He was emotionally abusive and possessive. He didn't want me to have a life outside the home. As soon as the bell rang at school, I should be packed up and heading home in his opinion. Yeah, it doesn't work that way and it never will.

It progressed downhill rapidly over two years and now we're divorced and he's married to another woman. Good luck to her.
 
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No, I didn't. At the time I didn't really notice how much I gave into him. We argued about it a lot and I eventually gave in, grudgingly.

My starting to work was the beginning of the end really. The stupid SUV didn't help matters but there were a lot of things wrong with our relationship. He was emotionally abusive and possessive. He didn't want me to have a life outside the home. As soon as the bell rang at school, I should be packed up and heading home in his opinion. Yeah, it doesn't work that way and it never will.

It progressed downhill rapidly over two years and now we're divorced and he's married to another woman. Good luck to her.

Oh geez, I am so sorry. But, I am happy that you are free and clear of his abuse!! No one should ever have to live like that and I am so glad for you!
wee.gif
 
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No, I didn't. At the time I didn't really notice how much I gave into him. We argued about it a lot and I eventually gave in, grudgingly.

My starting to work was the beginning of the end really. The stupid SUV didn't help matters but there were a lot of things wrong with our relationship. He was emotionally abusive and possessive. He didn't want me to have a life outside the home. As soon as the bell rang at school, I should be packed up and heading home in his opinion. Yeah, it doesn't work that way and it never will.

It progressed downhill rapidly over two years and now we're divorced and he's married to another woman. Good luck to her.

Oh geez, I am so sorry. But, I am happy that you are free and clear of his abuse!! No one should ever have to live like that and I am so glad for you!
wee.gif


I am too, though I worry for the woman who he's married to now. I'm hoping it was just a me and him thing and that we were just bad for each other. Even if she was the final straw that destroyed the marriage, she doesn't deserve the treatment I received.

Unfortunately, knowing both of them as I did (she had been a close friend before she turned into a homewrecker), the cycle has probably just started over again. She's worse about standing her ground than I was.
 
This really is a fixable problem if both parties can sit down and work on it together. I agree that caring for 3 children, caring for the house and going to college is more than her fair share. There should not be the extra burden of a job unless it is absolutely necessary and at that point he should be sharing in the child and house duties. This really is a growing up situation. There needs to be some ground rules. Both parties do not need to be bringing in an income for the power to be balanced. Marriage should not be a power struggle. Its a partnership that is so equal it treats both sides like they are a single person. Yes thats ideal but why not shoot for ideal.

Instead of steaming quietly you guys need to sit down together and come up with common rules and goals. Its you guys against the world. Not each of you against each other.
 
i was in a similar relationship at one time.life is too short to be involved with stupid partners.
 
I agree that life is way to short for each of us to waste it being unhappy.Talk things out with your partner. If you can not agree to doing things in a way that benefits you both then you can try counseling or just go your seperate ways.

One time cost items are different that getting things that require additional money to upkeep. I do not think that spending responsibilty to enhance their lives is a bad thing We wait on many things in our lives,but once in a while a bit of immediate gratification is nice. I see nothing wrong about getting the hens. Your spouse gets the xbox and games to bring him a bit of pleasure,and you will find the same with getting your hens.

I understand that getting animals is different that getting a game,but if you tend to the needs of the animal then there should be a problem.I might say," I would like to get some chickens,and this is how we (or I) can make it happen...supplies,food,shelter list."

I understand that when getting a live animal you feel the need to ask.To get the *go ahead*. If I really wanted something though I would bring it up as telling not asking. I don't ask for permission from my spouse I ask for his input. If there is a reason I should not get something then he better be able to explain why it isn't possbile.Telling me "No,because I said so." just won't cut it with me.Again, I am an equal partner not a child.
 
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Just to clarify, we would never do something so foolish as renting to own an xbox. Ours is a refridgerator. Sorry, but we are not going to live out of an ice chest til we save enough to get one. Rent to own for people with poor credit is at times a life saver. It is how we got our washer and dryer as well. And we did save til we could pay it off as soon as possible. Same with the living room furniture and tv. All paid off.
 

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