I am 12 years out of a marriage with a functional alcoholic. I stayed because I loved him and had 5 kids. Best thing I ever did was initiate the divorce and follow through. My trigger? My 18 yr old daughter telling a friend's mom about her "biological father" who was never there for her. You can't fool the kids. If the 10 year old has figured it out, the 8 yr old isn't far behind and they may be talking when you don't know it.
The kids deserve peace and the ability to live without that disruption. They deserve to know that life isn't always walking on eggshells. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the kids. They will thank you sooner than you think.
It won't be easy and he will make it hell for you because you are his crutch that he can blame.
On the bright side, there is a light after the tunnel and you will find it!
The kids deserve peace and the ability to live without that disruption. They deserve to know that life isn't always walking on eggshells. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the kids. They will thank you sooner than you think.
It won't be easy and he will make it hell for you because you are his crutch that he can blame.
On the bright side, there is a light after the tunnel and you will find it!