My husband left me and the kids.

[WVchick71]

I will keep you in my prayers also. Although, it may not seem like it at times, It sounds like you are heading in the right direction. Just remember that you are not responsible for his poor choices! Talk to both your kids, for sure. They probably know alot more than you think. Being open with them and letting them know that it has nothing to do with anything they did and that it was his poor choices will also allow them to not blame themselves. Look to God for peace and comfort.

 

[the duck whisperer]

That is horrible. I am so sorry.

 

[CrazyFowlFreak]

My parents (God bless them!) are paying for my lawyer. I cannot thank them enough! I did not qualify for Legal Aid as DH makes too much money. I will be asking for child support, spousal support, and possibly for him to either make the house payments or the car payments. He entered into this marriage knowing that I have chronic pain and that I cannot work full time, so the lawyer said that the judge would take that into account when awarding everything. He actually called the kids last night and said he wants to see them next week to do something with them. Of course, last Sunday, he said the said and never called or showed up. I feel so bad for my kids. DH hasn't been to work (we work in the same office, long story) and he actually let an extremely important certification lapse, and has been letting his father handle things that he should be handling, everytime I do speak to him, he sounds either like he just woke up or is high ir drunk which just proves to me he's running around getting drunk and high and lord knows what else. He makes me sick right now. I am documenting everything to tell the lawyer. I do not want him near my kids, but I guess I have no choice.

On a positive note, I've lost 17lbs since this all started!

 

[sfw2]

I'm so glad that your parents are helping you out with the lawyer. It's so important to have somebody looking out for your (and your kids') best interests. Please make sure to take care of yourself as this goes on. 17 pounds is a lot to lose in such a short time!

 

[GhostRider65]

Sweety you are indeed blessed that he left!!!!!!! DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO HELP YOUR SELF AND YOUR CHILDREN NOW YOU ARE THE DESERVING ONES.
Living with an alcoholic is so stressful that it will take some time maybe even years for you to understand just how bad it was, we silly people who live with these men many years (myself 17 years) take so much abuse and push down, it takes our normal functioning mode awhile to get back.
Please try attending alanon or some type of counseling for you and the kids.
Alcoholics, blame everyone but themselves for all there troubles, needing a rational reason to drink is by far the least of there twisted ways, anything is cause to drink or smoke, good or bad. Blaming you is even better, I still loved my x when I divorced him but I could not live that way any longer, my boys were 6 and 15 and I had an adult step son as well, that was the hardest part, to explain to him why, he looked at me and said MOM what took you so long........... I knew this was coming since I was 13... You should have left him years ago. That made me realize all my hiding things from the children to protect them, didn't work and was also making them miserable as well. That in fact then made me see the light, I then had gone through a family treatment program after that and learned alot.......A;LOTTTTTTTTTT
I'm remarried now to a wonderful man who treats my sons much better than there real father ever did, or ever will, he is another 1 who will never learn. I'm not saying they can't but after watching my x quit go back and quit and go back several times leaving him or threatening too several more filing for divorce once and then stopping it and taking him back, I just believe some of them will never change they don't want too.
So though I hate to hear this and am sending you strength and many hugs..... count your blessings and move on with your lives you will eventually see you were right and your children need at least 1 parent with there head properly screwed on.
Many Hugs

and lots of strength and hope coming your way........ Kim
Ps if you need someone to vent too or just ask some questions feel free to email me or PM me and if you need I will send you my phone number..........

 

[annie3001]

you sound strong. good that your going to be there for your children who need you and you need them too. hugs...

 

[NewHopePoultry]

 

[redhen]

One thing i would INSIST upon is him taking a blood alcohol level test.. and or random drug tests before he be allowed unsupervised visits with the kids...(because you mentioned he sounds "high"..)

 

[effie]

Here is another thing I had done with mine as far as visitation went---I had an alcohol injunction put on him-he couldn't drink when he had the kids or 24 hours prior to getting them. The sheriff deputy also told me to never let them go with him if he had been drinking. You just call the law--they won't hang around --they don't want a DUI.

 

[Gomes Bantams]

I'm very sorry to here this and is wondering if I could do anything to help. I think you need a hug from someone who loves you for who you are. Divorse his sorry butt and marry a man who shares the same interests and loves you.