Sweety you are indeed blessed that he left!!!!!!! DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO HELP YOUR SELF AND YOUR CHILDREN NOW YOU ARE THE DESERVING ONES.
Living with an alcoholic is so stressful that it will take some time maybe even years for you to understand just how bad it was, we silly people who live with these men many years (myself 17 years) take so much abuse and push down, it takes our normal functioning mode awhile to get back.
Please try attending alanon or some type of counseling for you and the kids.
Alcoholics, blame everyone but themselves for all there troubles, needing a rational reason to drink is by far the least of there twisted ways, anything is cause to drink or smoke, good or bad. Blaming you is even better, I still loved my x when I divorced him but I could not live that way any longer, my boys were 6 and 15 and I had an adult step son as well, that was the hardest part, to explain to him why, he looked at me and said MOM what took you so long........... I knew this was coming since I was 13... You should have left him years ago. That made me realize all my hiding things from the children to protect them, didn't work and was also making them miserable as well. That in fact then made me see the light, I then had gone through a family treatment program after that and learned alot.......A;LOTTTTTTTTTT
I'm remarried now to a wonderful man who treats my sons much better than there real father ever did, or ever will, he is another 1 who will never learn. I'm not saying they can't but after watching my x quit go back and quit and go back several times leaving him or threatening too several more filing for divorce once and then stopping it and taking him back, I just believe some of them will never change they don't want too.
So though I hate to hear this and am sending you strength and many hugs..... count your blessings and move on with your lives you will eventually see you were right and your children need at least 1 parent with there head properly screwed on.
Many Hugs
and lots of strength and hope coming your way........ Kim
Ps if you need someone to vent too or just ask some questions feel free to email me or PM me and if you need I will send you my phone number..........